• And Then I Fell Down The Rabbit Hole

    This change is so hard for me.

    I went back and reread the recent posts I’ve written about anxiety and how I’m feeling and it occurred to me that I really only skimmed the surface.

    I do not feel like I made a mistake taking this new job.

    Except that’s not the truth. There is a part of me that truly believes I would be better off at my old job. It was safe. And I had twice as much vacation time. 

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  • I’m Covered In Bees! Updated

    Have you seen Eddie Izzard’s stand up? Because if not, you are missing out. He’s fucking hilarious.

    I stole one of his jokes for my title.

    We need bees you guys. I am not an expert in any field, least of all bees, but I feel confident in saying that bees are important to our continued survival.

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  • Priscilla And The Ghost Of Christmas Snark

    Starting my third week of the new job and I only felt like puking a little bit today. Anxiety is still kicking my ass, but I am reasonably sure that it’s losing some of it’s stamina.

    We had my extended Christmas party with family on Saturday night and then on Sunday, drove to Randy’s home town in Indiana to visit his sisters, niece, nephews and their assorted spawn.

    On the way home, we stopped to see Priscilla, Queen Of The Cubicle.

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  • Because It’s Just Not Christmas Without…

    Not white hot rage. Not this year.

    Tonight was my family’s Christmas party. There were a few people missing this year, my baby boy for one. He had to work. Zach and his girlfriend of two years split a few months ago, so he was solo. One of my cousins had a baby since last Christmas and it was nice to get my baby fix. I passed the baby off to Middle Sister when she got fussy. The baby, not Middle Sister.

    Last year, after my family Christmas party, I wrote about an incident with my narcissistic father. I behaved badly in a reaction to him behaving badly.

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  • 3 Signs That Anxiety Is About To Kick My Ass


    I’ve been writing a lot about anxiety lately. Probably because I’m goddamn anxious.

    I’m nearing the second week at my new job. I was able to complete a simple project for the owner of the company today and it felt like a win. Even as I type this, my anxiety is rolling it’s eyes and saying “Really? You’re happy about THAT? That project should have literally taken 10 minutes to complete, not 3 hours. 

    I’m going to stick with ‘it’s a win’. I was assigned a task. I completed it. It was accurate. It’s a fucking win.

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