• Somewhere Between Bad Ass and Darryl Hannah

    Me: Hey Randy, who is the dorkiest girl you can think of?

    Randy: The dorkiest?

    Me: Yeah.

    Randy: You mean a celebrity?

    Me: Doesn’t have to be.

    Randy: You?

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  • Planet Of The Hairy Bikini Line

    I detest slide show articles. They annoy me.

    That doesn’t stop me from occasionally checking them out because who doesn’t want to see which celebrities have recently dyed their tongues purple and collect headless stuffed animals? I rarely get through the whole article, though, because by the third slide, I am annoyed as fuck.

    Goddammit, they moved the next button. Aaaand now I’m on a page asking for my information for cheaper car insurance. Fuck slide shows. 

    Anyway, I saw a headline that said “These images will make your eyes bleed”. I don’t know why I clicked on something that could potentially make me cry like a statue of a martyred saint, but I did.

    It was pictures of celebrity women wearing bikinis with a little line of pubic hair peeking out of the top of their bikini bottoms. Read More

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  • The Top 5 Fucked Up Things Nuns Did at St Augustine Elementary In The ’70’s

    In 1973, Sister John Bono, fourth grade teacher, conducted an art project that involved ironing. Not surprisingly, a girl got burned when the iron tipped over and seared her wrist.

    Sister John Bono sent the girl to the nun house for first aid. The nun in the nun house put a pat of butter on the burn and then wrapped the girl’s wrist with a dishtowel from the kitchen. The nun held the dishtowel in place with a rubber band she had taken from the morning paper. She didn’t even pick the toast crumbs out of the butter.

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