• Another Perk Of The Menopausal Years

    A lot of getting older sucks balls.

    I don’t like the tissue paper skin or the lines around my eyes and fuck those wiry gray eyebrows. I don’t like that my body creaks. I hate the permanent nerve damage in my feet. My feet are nearly always hot and on pins and needles. My doctor says they will stay that way. I don’t like that. I don’t like not being able to read small print, even with my readers. I don’t want my body to fail me at all, but it’s failing a little.

    It’s not all gray hair and thin skin and achy bones. There are some perks to getting older.

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  • An Open Letter To My Kid’s Ex-Boss

    Dear Douche Twizzle,

    My kid, your ex-employee, is 16 nearly 17 and on the cusp of being an adult.  Do you know what you call a human who is on the cusp of being an adult? A child.

    I would agree that the way my son ended his employment with you was not done in a professional manner. He was unhappy working at your frozen yogurt store. It would have been great for him to give you two weeks notice instead of finishing his shift, then sending you an email that he quit. After all, you give two weeks notice when you terminate employees, right?

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  • We’re Not Really Sharing The Same Space

    I wrote this last Friday night.

    Randy and I had our marathon phone call with our mountain friends. I got a headache and fell asleep before the call was over.

    Randy woke me up when he came to bed and we ended up watching videos. We watched Adam Ant and Tom Petty and The Clash. There isn’t much I love more than listening to Joe Strummer crow.

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  • Kitchen Sacrifices For Feeling Out Of Sorts

    We went out for Thanksgiving dinner. I think that messed up the world.

    Everything has seemed slightly off since Thanksgiving. I’m having one of those mornings where my perception of reality has taken a dark turn and I can’t tell if life is really as harsh and brutal and cold as I suspect, or if it really is more puppies and kittens and baby angels on unicorns.

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  • Love In The Time Of Funny Voices

    I am going to estimate that 30% of words that come out of Randy’s face hole are spoken in a funny voice or an accent. The fact that I’ve been listening to this for 20 years now should qualify me for sainthood.

    One of these days, I am going to catalog these voices and rate them.  Maybe assign a tool to measure their level of annoyingness. Some would fall rather low on the annoyance scale. Not all the voices are bad. I don’t mind if he speaks in a British accent and it’s adorable when he tries to speak like Antonio Bandaras to me.

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