Calling All Adult Children Of Narcissists

I was contacted by Valerie Coles, a researcher from the University of Georgia about posting a link to a survey about parental narcissism.

Here’s what Valerie had to say:

My colleague and I are researchers at the University of Georgia collecting data for a project examining how parental communication impacts individuals once they are adults.  There is presently no published scale that measures parental narcissism behaviors from the perspective of the adult child, and very little research in general.  Not surprisingly, we would like to have ACONs, if they are interested, participate in our study. Participants will have the opportunity to partake in questionnaire that asks about their parent’s communication style(s) and some items that measure personality characteristics of their parent or legal guardian that they identify as a narcissist and themselves.

In addition, participants may choose to enter a drawing for one of ten $100 gift cards for participating. The entire process will require less than 30 minutes of their time (closer to 20). Of course we will keep all information confidential, so that names and other identifying markers (e.g., IP addresses) will not be linked to the questionnaire they complete. Participants who are interested in the drawing will enter an email address into the drawing – email addresses will not be linked back to the questionnaires.

Approval of the research protocol for this study was approved at The University of Georgia’s Institutional Review Board.

I took the survey last night and it didn’t even take 20 minutes. Besides, I want my chance at one of those gift cards. I mean, if we had to deal with a narc parent, the least we should get is a gift card, right?

I’m not being compensated for this in any way. I just thought it was interesting and really about time this subject started getting some more attention.

Here is the link if you’re interested.  https://ugeorgia.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_bpUcPJ3CkaLjOPb

If you are qualified to take this survey, please know that I’m sending you a big, warm squishy hug. I wish that no child ever had to live with a narcissistic parent and that no adult had to live with the fear and shame and confusion that goes along with being one of the adult children of narcissists.

Maybe this will at least help pave the way for understanding and there will be help on the horizon for kids who are going through what we went through.

52 Thoughts.

    • Thank you. I know there are degrees and comparing does no good. I have fond memories of childhood, but not many. I was anxious nearly always and still deal with that. I was known as a ‘worrier’ as a kid…I guess that’s one way to put it. haha.

      Oh and thank you for the link. I think that is one of the first sites I found when I realized what my childhood was and it was so enlightening. I am looking forward to revisiting it.

  1. I did the survey first thing this morning, and forwarded it to my sister, uncle and cousin. I am still thinking about it. Pretty stark, to have those questions so short and spot-on. Why, yes, I do feel that my life has been a failure, now that you ask…

    • Yeah, it asked hard questions. Here’s the thing though, that was DONE to us. I am fairly confident in saying that you are not a failure. Now you tell me that I’m not a failure, and then let’s remind each other every fucking day.

  2. Michelle, you are my hero. I can tell, and I am sure your sons can, too, how important they are to you. That’s all it takes to be better than our parents.

    • That’s the truth…that bar is pretty fucking low. Although, I adore my mother..she had the same dad I did. It’s common for an ACON to marry a narcissist. My second husband was definitely narcissistic.

      HAHAHA..well..not the SAME dad..that’s too Kentucky even for me. Just another narc is what I meant.

  3. I read the article that someone posted above and WOW… sending you big, huge hugs! And yea… you definitely deserve more than a gift card for the survey. While my childhood was not even remotely close to Leave it to Beaver, I can only imagine what it must have been like for you and others growing up with narcisstic parents.

    • That was the article that made me aware of so many things. It was not a good couple of days when I immersed myself in all things narcissist..but I am so glad I understand now.

  4. Thanks to Kristine for including that link. I had no idea… And now I know I’m blessed to NOT have had to grow up with a narcissistic parent in the home. Yikes.

  5. Thank you for posting this, Michelle. I just took the survey. If I wasn’t fresh off a heartwarming talk with my husband I would probably be collapsed in a puddle of grief. The questions brought up a lot of my past and well, it just wan’t happy.

  6. Wow, what a fun day to discover your blog, lol! Some shrink years ago told my mother she wasn’t really a narcissist but never could figure out what she was.

    This armchair psychology is pretty bad but I was thinking borderline personality. Then I read about ACON. Maybe I’m a dual winner. Oops, ACOA so triple crown. More like perfect storm.

    Just discovered you and looking forward to reading more!

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