If We Give Up On Humor, Then We Give Up

One of my blogging buddies wrote a post about life guards, kids at pools, and pooping in pools. Something about the effects of canned ravioli. The article was tongue in cheek and funny.

People lost their shit. Oh my god, did they lose their shit.

I did not know this, but apparently there is nothing funny about swimming pools and poop. 

In order to support my fellow blogger, I left a comment saying I found the article funny, especially the canned ravioli part.

Someone responded to me, beginning with this: “You are an idiot.”

Then, she proceeded to tell me how pooping in a pool isn’t funny.

I don’t usually respond to comments like that, but I did. I told her I didn’t get people who attack and call names so quickly and that humor can be found in all kinds of unpleasant situations.

You guys, the most bizarre thing happened. I’m not even kidding.

She apologized for calling me an idiot.

Yes! A person, who viciously attacked another person in comments for having a differing opinion, took responsibility for their shitty behavior and apologized. I was stunned and slightly hopeful. I mean, you just don’t see a lot of that behavior.

Someone else took me to task and said if I had to clean shit out of a pool I wouldn’t find it so funny.

You know what, though? I have written many stories in a humorous way about events which were not even a teeny bit funny when they happened.

I’d rather laugh than cry. Every single time.

Sometimes, the tears win out. I don’t get to avoid the tears every time, but I will always choose to laugh if I can. Every. Single. Time.

Like the time last week when I dumped an entire gallon of white ceiling paint on my ceramic tile floor.

Oh, wait. Yeah…I’m not finding that one funny yet. I’ll get to that later. Paint is the devil. And my house is never going to be ready to sell.

Or, I could tell you how I set the stove on fire twice while making dinner last night.

Only Randy isn’t going to find that one funny yet, so that will have to wait as well.

How about this? I will share my recent attempts at Limericks:

There once was a man named Sean Spicer

Who spouted off lies like a geyser

He quit his job

Cause he worked for a nob

Now he hopes life will be nicer

 

There once was a man called The Mooch

As classless as vinegar douche

He acted a fool

He works for a tool

There’s no doubt that he screwed the pooch

Life is difficult. If you are in the U.S., life is especially difficult these days.  We have to keep our sense of humor, though. If we can’t laugh, then what is the fucking point?

So, the women offended by poop humor would really hate the Dude pictures this week. My husband is so odd. 

Dude Gets Revenge (Again)

Cat photo by Marko Blažević on Unsplash

 

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Add your comments below. Profanity is encouraged, but not required. ;)
  1. Erin Banister says:

    This was just what I needed to read this moment. Going through some very not funny stuff right now, but still trying to laugh about the things that haven’t gone up shit creek.

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      I am glad you liked it and I hope very very much that your not funny stuff clears up soon. I hate it when life is not funny and that has been happening so much! Just keep moving forward, my friend. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Cecilia says:

    Looooove the limericks!

    Reply
  3. Cathy says:

    Oh. My. God. The limerick about the Mooch is priceless. And you are totally right, laughing is always better than crying. Even when cleaning up poop. I’m not so sure about white paint, though…..
    Thank you! Cathy

    Reply
  4. shelley says:

    Love the limericks! And these days, if we don’t laugh at stuff going on we’ll all by crying.

    Reply
  5. Humor saves us from pain that might destroy us. While this tragedy is not monumental, my DH has lost 4 kindles and a tablet while traveling by airplane–just in the last 24 months. FIVE of them. I have to laugh at this point (or will I really lose my mind and/or my marriage by responding in a negative way?).
    Karen Austin recently posted…Age and Political AffiliationMy Profile

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    • Michelle says:

      Still..that shit adds up! It sounds like me and Randy’s phones. I am hard on phones and they don’t even have to be MY phone. I destroyed one of his phones in a cup of coffee. And I cracked the screen on the one he has now.

      Reply
  6. Donna says:

    Yes, yes, yesyesyesyes, YES – THIS!

    Life is hideously motherfucking hard. I WILL crack wise, I WILL laugh at all the “wrong” things and that IS that!

    Also too, love the limericks.
    Donna recently posted…ReddingMy Profile

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  7. Haralee says:

    Humor is a way to cope. People without a sense of humor or who can’t see the humor are not my kind of people. The limericks are fabulous.
    Bette Midler quotes Sophie Tucker with her famous one liner, “Fuck them if they can’t take a joke”!
    Haralee recently posted…Recipe DeathMy Profile

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  8. AmberLynn says:

    I have to laugh at the state of the world today, but sometimes people just don’t get it. Like, Saturday was my husband’s birthday. I said to him that I hoped he enjoyed it because with North Korea’s launching of ICBMs and Donald Trump as President, it may be his last. He didn’t seem amused. I thought it was a call to have a great and unforgettable day!
    AmberLynn recently posted…Meditation Monday #43 – How to Meditate: The 5 Koshas (Vijnanamaya)My Profile

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  9. Barbara says:

    I completely agree. We would all lose our shit if we couldn’t laugh at this point in our beleaguered country!
    The fire story reminded me of the time, waay back in the day, when we had a fondue party and too much wine. When everyone left I used a dish towel as a cheese cloth to filter the oil and the pilot light on the stove caught it and the flames whooshed up to the ceiling! Scared the shit out of me! Thank heaven my husband has quick reflexes, even when drunk!
    Never stop looking for the funny!
    b

    Reply
  10. Lisa K says:

    So, I think, poop in a pool is hilarious, if it’s not MY pool 😀
    And to turn a hater into an apologetic person is miraculous, these days.
    Kudos!!
    I have the unfortunate and inappropriate laugh of the self-preserving victim of narcissism and perfectionist Daddism, so, many times I have had to stifle my glee as I was well aware it was not the time to laugh.
    But. As soon as I’m able to let loose and encourage others to join in, I try to rehash the ‘incident’ with as much drama and flair as necessary to unleash the laugh in others.
    You’re WAY better at it than me 🙂
    I LOVE how you can bring the most mundane subject around to delightful new happy thoughts!!
    Carry on Warrior for the Humor in all of us!! Keep that edge sharp and that wit unfettered!
    And maybe, the Mooch will be the ‘rawness’ needed to drive 45 over that final hump of sanity.
    You KNOW how he hates to be ‘one-upped’ and I think the Mooch might just be doing that.
    HAHAHAHAHAFUCKINGHAHAHA

    Reply
  11. Becky says:

    They say it’s actually healthy to find the humor in unfunny situations. And I totally agree. I laugh because if I don’t, I’ll cry.
    Becky recently posted…My Ah-ha momentMy Profile

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  12. I’ve never had to clean poop out of a pool, but I have had to clean poop (and worse) as my actual job. And I can say from actual experience that the way I dealt with it was by

    A) Deciding poop wasn’t that big a deal (especially compared to Other Things)
    B) Finding the humor when confronted with the truly horrible.

    Gross, degrading, or sad tasks don’t take any less time (or become less necessary) because you’re huffing and puffing and whining about how yucky it is.

    And the dog who got the squirts (totally normal) and started expelling used condoms (slightly less normal) all over the damned place was a situation that needed some laughs. Especially after we remembered that he came from an assisted living facility… I mean, good for them, but AAAAACK!
    ActualConversationsWithMyHusband recently posted…Sincerely with LoveMy Profile

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  13. AMEN!

    I think there is ALWAYS humor to be found in any situation if we only take the time to look for it. Granted, sometimes it takes longer than others to find it, but it’s always there.

    Why yes, sometimes my sense of humor may be a tad juvenile or inappropriate, but tough cookies. Like you say, better to laugh than cry. We can’t let the bastards get us down. 🙂
    Susan Swiderski recently posted…Spread ‘Em!My Profile

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  14. Really, if you can’t laugh about shit (or poop in the pool), what is the point??? I’m working on a blog post for next week about my recent health scare during which I lost my short-term memory for about 10 hours (which scared the crap out of Hubs), but some of the stuff I said was hysterical (or so I’m told, since I don’t remember). You gotta laugh. And compose funny limericks.

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      As much as I hate when bad or stressful things happen, I am always grateful for the blog post material. haha. And that health scare would frighten the shit out of me.

      Reply
  15. emelle says:

    There once was a big piece of SHIT
    Who really thought he was “the shit”
    I don’t say his name
    ’cause he thrives on the fame
    But he’s burying ‘Murica in SHIT

    … okay, I’m not the best limerick writer, but I gave it a shot. I really hope this administration burns itself down in big blue flaming fireballs sooner, rather than later. Then, not only will we laugh, but we’ll also sing and dance and throw parties and grab each other by the pussy, etc.! (Gawd, I hate that man… but what am I gonna do? Cry? Whine? Nope)
    emelle recently posted…Part the Third: Floatin’ Down the RiverMy Profile

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  16. Jenn says:

    Hell, that is why I STARTED blogging in the first place – to find the humor in all the stress I was feeling as a new mom – if I didn’t laugh about it, I’d lose my mind.
    Jenn recently posted…Book Review: Exposed by Lisa ScottolineMy Profile

    Reply
  17. You got someone…online…to apologize? You are my hero (once again).
    What gets me though are the people who get so upset over some things like poop in a pool but the whole world is on fire. There are important things in the world–use your upset power for actual good.

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      Not gonna lie, I was stunned. An actual apology. I agree. I have seen people go off on a screed about someone wearing leggings but have nothing to say about our country burning to the goddamn ground.

      Reply
  18. You are hilarious!!! OMG………please please make sure that we never lose our sense of humor!!! I hear ya sister……………I would much rather laugh than cry. I can totally find humor in a blog about pooping in a pool, dry vaginas, hot flashes, painful sex and so many more taboo topics! Laughter makes learning and life way more fun!

    Reply
  19. Steve Allen, who was a pretty funny guy, said that funny things don’t happen to comedians. Comedians are people who look at ordinary things in a funny way.
    Like pooping in a pool. That shit is funny. Or rather there’s a way to look at it in a funny way.
    What’s more striking to me, though, is someone apologizing to you. Granted I think you deserved an apology but the internet doesn’t always bring out the best in people.
    Something we can never forget is that there’s another person on the other side of the screen.
    I’m still working on how to say that in a funny way.

    Reply
  20. Doug in Oakland says:

    Wasn’t that a line in a “Dirty Harry” movie? “You’re about as welcome as a turd in a swimming pool”? My first real W4 job was as a janitor at a Montgomery Ward store, and cleaning up shit was one of the easy parts.
    Humor is important as a coping mechanism, but it’s also a method of breaking down resistance to ideas: if you can make someone laugh about something, they don’t hate it for a minute, and in that minute a little truth can get in. That’s why satire so powerful.
    And congratulations for getting an apology online. I have apologized online a couple of times, because why not? If I’m wrong, I want to figure that shit out, and in a certain way, displaying the ability to change an opinion in light of better information is better than simply being right in the first place. Anyone can be right, but you have to have some actual human decency to admit you were wrong and apologize.
    Still, you don’t see much of it.
    And I find it useful sometimes to remember that as fucked up as things are in America right now, they could be much worse, and we can be working on making sure they don’t get that way, like we did last week, especially the women.
    Also, we’re not in Syria or Iraq, so there’s that.

    Reply
  21. Spiked Lee says:

    Remember the poop in the pool scene in “Caddyshack”? Google it, there’s nothing NOT funny about that shit.
    Also,
    There once was a man called The Mooch …
    Michelle, your limerick got the mooch *fired.* Okay, maybe you’re not quite that powerful, but still. I read your blog, and then it happens. Coincidence?

    Reply
  22. Shelley says:

    As I am not talented enough to write poetry, this is what I posted on Fascebook when Spicey quit. “Good bye, Sean Spicer. Now go to your room and think about what you’ve done.”

    Reply
  23. Michelle, I’m not sure we could survive without humor these days. What would we do without the funny people? They help us put everything in perspective. They make us laugh. They even teach us. (And yes, poop in pools can be funny).
    Laurie Stone recently posted…At Least I Tried (Yes, “Blue Apron” Was a Disaster)My Profile

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  24. Jen Monks says:

    I wish we could purchase a sense of humor for people It would be a nice gift for them and society would benefit. Like you said, “laugh or cry.” I’m glad the woman who called you a name apologized. That gives me hope.

    Reply
  25. I once got in an argument with a pro-lifer online, who immediately went to those multiple-times-proven-fake videos of Planned Parenthood “selling dead babies,” and my gut-reaction was to call her an idiot. I apologized later, because I’d been having a bad day and just because she cited a stupid thing doesn’t mean that she herself is an idiot. It happens. She still refused to see reason (ie: I don’t care what you choose to believe, but at least cite sources that aren’t proven hoaxes), but at least I felt a little better about not being a complete douche.

    Also, I set my stove on fire a couple weeks ago! The entire apartment was filled with so much smoke it looked like it was nine at night at nine in the morning. I was spitting up black ash for days. And I was laughing about it literally two hours after I put it out. If we can’t laugh at the bad shit, especially when there is so much more bad shit than good shit these days, then why are we even alive?
    The Cupcake Witch recently posted…Diary: Yesterday was not a good day.My Profile

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  26. Janey says:

    What the hell! The most horrible and humiliating stories of our lives have the best story value! And for the person bent out of shape about being the one to have to clean up shit, grow the fuck up. My dad had early on-set dementia. The first time he soiled himself it was just the two of us at home. In trying to clean himself up he had gotten shit EVERYWHERE! I put breadwrappers on my hands like gloves (clever,huh?) and proceeded to try to clean him and everything else up. After accidentally spraying myself in the face with a shower nozzle I decided to make the best of a bad situation and made up a song, “Shit on the bedspread, shit on the walls, shit in the bathroom, and that ain’t all….” Okay, it was lame, but at least it was a distraction. My Mom came home to find me dripping wet, singing, and burning shit covered paper towels in the backyard so they wouldn’t stink up the house. I was 13 years old. If I could sing about cleaning up my dad’s shit, and laugh about it even then, spare me any indignation about cleaning shit out of a swimming pool. If you can’t laugh, you cry. I can tell you laughter is preferable, crying sucks

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      OMG see? That is perfect. The most horrible and sad story ever, then I read you sprayed yourself in the face with the shower nozzles and imagined the bread wrappers and laughed out loud. I’m with you. Laughter is best. There is a part of me that wants to go protect that 13 year old from such a sad and horrible job, but you seem like you came through okay. xo

      Reply
      • Janey says:

        But on the bright side it earned me the right to freely and openly curse around my mother. My grandmother was horrified but as my mother explained I’d earned the right. When you have to clean up as much shit as we did in the coming years, it is not poop, not boopsies, not crap, it’s SHIT!

        Reply
  27. Eccles9 says:

    100% yes. As my dear departed mother once put it, ‘if you can’t laugh about it, you’re fucked’.

    Reply
  28. Laughter – screaming – tears…..that’s my order of preference. Now I need to find the post that got you so much shit so I can have some fun in the comments. Burn on.
    Bryce Warden recently posted…Mourning the LivingMy Profile

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  29. Totally agree, Michelle. It is possible to find humour in virtually everything.

    A few months ago I wrote a post about my experiences – many years ago – of interactions with two prostitutes who plied their trade outside my local convenience store. Despite the story focusing on my awkwardness (and mainly poking [excuse the pun] fun at me), I got an angry comment from some bloke telling me I was being disrespectful to these ladies of the night. When I suggested he ‘lighten up a bit’ he flipped.
    Gary Sidley recently posted…A man’s got to know his limitationsMy Profile

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  30. ross says:

    I can guarantee you the person who cleaned the poop out of the pool will be regaling his friends with the story for years to come, and he (or she) will be playing it for laughs. As the saying goes, comedy is pain plus time.

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      Oh hell..that is so true. I’m still waiting for time to catch up on some things and others there isn’t enough time in the world..but mostly, sooner or later, shit is funny.

      Reply
  31. Liv says:

    Limericks should really be your new go-to.

    And I might also add, you can write one hell of a funny poop story.
    Liv recently posted…Divorcing? Look for the Right Kind of AdviceMy Profile

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