International Moment of Frustration Scream Day

Yep. This is today. Today is the “International Moment of Frustration Scream Day”.

I feel like I’ve been training my whole life for this day.

But is it really an international “day”?

Well, I looked it up up on the internet and the internet says it is true and we all know that the internet knows everything. Or at least more than I do.

I am lying to you guys just a little. It’s not “today” today. It’s yesterday. I am writing this Wednesday night for tomorrow. But tomorrow, (well, not tomorrow, it’s actually today if you are reading this.) really is international moment of frustration scream day. We shall refer to it as IMOFSD from now on because I am getting frustrated typing out “International moment of frustration scream day” and I don’t want to blow my scream a day too early. Also, I think we might have time traveled a little with this paragraph. 

Okay, so, if you are a regular reader, you know I’ve been struggling. This week has been extraordinarily difficult and in approximately 5 hours and 20 minutes from now, I have to do some work stuff. This is specifically what has been making my anxiety scream. Well, other than my anxiety disorder….but let’s just blame work, okay?

I want to say that I’m doing better and I’m getting a handle on my anxiety, but I’m not.

It’s hard to swallow and my chest hurts. I want to run screaming from whatever danger my brain insists I am in, but where would I go? I have been overwhelmed by panic for a few weeks now and it’s exhausting.

I hope when you read this I am not a wasted puddle on the floor and that everything went swimmingly.

Why is that a saying? Swimmingly? I know what it means but it doesn’t seem like it should mean what it means. What does swimming have to do with everything working out well? It’s enough to make one desire a day set aside where one can scream for a moment of frustration. Internationally. 

Anyway, I was just talking to Joey about IMOFSD.

Joey: Is that a real thing?

Me: It is. It’s the best thing ever.

Joey: Nah. There’s a better one. International Everyone Chill The Fuck Out day.

Me: Yeah, that’s better. Is that a thing?

Joey: I don’t think so. It should be.

Joey: I think it should be on my birthday.

Me: Your birthday is April 1st.

Joey: So?

Me: Well, there’s already a thing that day.

Joey: If everyone on the planet chilled out for one day it would be way better than pulling lame jokes on each other.

Me: I don’t know. We got you really good a few times.

Joey:..

Me: Well, we did.

I don’t want to end this post because I know when I do, then the next time I see it, I might be having a super bad day.

Here’s the thing, though, and this is the frustrating part. I have no reason to believe everything won’t go perfect. It works. I know it works. Unforeseen bullshit aside, there is literally nothing that I should be worrying about.

My brain is really frustrating right now. I might scream for a moment.

Pretty sure the scream will be heard internationally.

3 hours and 10 minutes.

1 hour 22 minutes.

Everything went fine. I have no idea why you guys were so worried.

 

Photo courtesy of Gratisography

 

33 Thoughts.

  1. It’s reassuring to know that us, anxiety freaks, are at least on the same schedule. My mind has been going in circles for the past month. And I’m so glad I have work because that’s where I’m putting my blame also (it’s not work (maybe it’s Trump)).

  2. *ping*
    Yesterday, not the tomorrow you started writing about last night, but the day I started writing about now, which was yesterday for me, but was really the day before for you, when you were writing about International Moment of Frustration Scream Day, which really is today, but I wish it was yesterday, cuz that’s when I needed to scream.
    And I did.
    Many times.
    Sure you heard me.
    But, I’ll scream again today… we’ll scream together… it may be the only thing worth looking forward to…
    It was such a weird day yesterday… the day before today. I hope the day after today, the day before Saturday, is better 😉
    *head back for full throat scream*
    Thanks for the time travel paragraph… I’ll use it to skip today… just no telling my level of frustrated moments… and how they will compare internationally 😉

  3. Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhh!!!!! (Ahem). Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to express my opinions. But now my throat hurts.

  4. This is a very timely day for me. The news cycle is really getting to me. I scream every morning, it seems, before I get out of bed. Along with the other nagging stress in my life, it’s really making me feel like I just can’t go on in this state for much longer. Maybe screaming in frustration will help me reset a bit. Thanks!

  5. As Michael Phelps is my 2nd favorite athlete EVER. A GOAT in his own right (Ali is first) going swimmingly makes perfect sense to me
    And in mentioning Phelps I have had surgeries both in summer and both during Olympic years. And I spent recovery time in those surgeries falling more in love with the brilliance that is watching Phelps.
    And I mention that because during recovery there are times I wanted to scream in not just pain but anger that this happened to me.
    I told my boyfriend that after the second surgery and he looked at me and handed me a pillow to throw and said throw it while you scream. And I did.
    It helped in that moment.
    Scream.
    Frustration is not something to keep inside. Don’t take it out on others. So scream. It may help in that moment.
    And be a rebel and don’t necessarily do it only once a year!
    I hope things are better already. And if not I hope they soon will be.

    • I try very hard to not take my frustrations out on others. I have, but so far, this time, I have not. I don’t have it in me to scream right now. But I will. I will scream my motherfucking head off.

      • Sorry! I’m sure you try hard not to take out your frustrations on others–that probably came out wrong because you’re definitely a kind person! I guess I was just saying know it can get harder to keep frustrations when you can’t let it out.
        I’m sorry that you weren’t able to scream today. I’m more sorry that today wasn’t better and I hope you’re wrong about tomorrow. But if not it will eventually pass. And you are a strong person in the meantime. You can get through this!

        • oh..I didn’t take that wrong at all! I totally get what you were saying. Because it is super easy to lash out when you are frustrated or scared. I can definitely get to that point.

  6. Well, this certainly has been a frustrating week.
    I’m glad your work-thing worked well, I had faith that it would.
    My sister lives in Santa Rosa, and moved about a year ago, and when she moved, the phone company wouldn’t let her keep the landline number she has had for more than a decade. I know that now, but I think you can tell where I’m going with this…
    “What? Santa Rosa is on fire? I have to call my sister!”
    “You have reached a number that is no longer in service”
    “AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!”
    Calm the fuck down, Doug, and dig her cell phone number out of your emails, you know it’s in there somewhere.
    Turns out she’s fine, her wife is fine, their dogs are fine, and as of yesterday afternoon, their house was fine. TWell, this certainly has been a frustrating week.
    I’m glad your work-thing worked well, I had faith that it would.
    My sister lives in Santa Rosa, and moved about a year ago, and when she moved, the phone company wouldn’t let her keep the landline number she has had for more than a decade. I know that now, but I think you can tell where I’m going with this…
    “What? Santa Rosa is on fire? I have to call my sister!”
    “You have reached a number that is no longer in service”
    “AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!”
    Calm the fuck down, Doug, and dig her cell phone number out of your emails, you know it’s in there somewhere.
    Turns out she’s fine, hey are evacuated, and staying with friends in Sebastopol.
    So where does that leave us?
    Stuck here at the house, because the car popped a water hose and had to be towed back from Brentwood, about halfway to Briana’s mom’s friend’s house in Ione.
    Thank John for AAA. (John is our housemate who got us AAA for $60.)
    So the air is all smoky, we have repairs to arrange and pay for, and the internet bill is overdue again, causing AT&T to limit my access in a seemingly random and definitely frustrating way. For example you and Aussa both posted this morning, and while I’m happily typing away on a comment here, AT&T says I can’t have access to Aussa’s site.
    Still, I don’t feel too bad, as our friend Zsuzs is down from her house near Yosemite, and each night, a little after dark, a cute black cat comes in and visits us.
    She (the cat) has reduced the anxiety levels here quite a bit. We weren’t even thinking about how much stress relief a cat facilitates, or how much that stress will add up after a cat disappears, like Kitters did.
    I would totally support an International Everyone Chill The Fuck Out day, but probably protesting for one would miss the point a little?
    Oh well, at least the sunsets have been awesome…

    • OK, that was a mess. AT&T tried to not let me publish my comment, so I saved as much of it to the clipboard as I could before getting frustrated and trying again… It worked the second try, but put everything I was able to save in front of the comment and scrambled it around a little also. I hope you understand it, as there is no edit function or delete function on this platform.

    • First, I am so grateful that your sister and her family and you and your people are all safe. Kitties are the best. They help. Today was every as horrible as I feared and I’m not doing very good tonight. I have the countdown on again because there are things I have to fix when all the stores are closed. I hate what my brain is doing to me right now, but I also know this will pass. It’s just super painful right now. My anxiety is so high that I feel like I am in physical danger and have to run, but it’s my brain and I can’t outrun it.

    • it was okay until I got to work and everything went to shit. This morning is already not shaping up either. I mean, not my fault (this time) or anything, but it’s still pretty bad

  7. And here I am responding a day late, although I read this post yesterday, but still International Moment of Frustration Scream Day was the 11th, so I’m already two days behind and all I can think is that “International Moment of Frustration Scream Day” sounds like it was translated from Japanese.
    I hope things get better. I will continue to worry. I will hope those Japanese coffee commercials with Tommy Lee Jones will make you laugh and give your brain some rest.

    • I hope things get better soon as well. Today isn’t great, but at this point, I’ve worked so many hours that i am numb and ineffective. I’m gong to do my best to not work at all tomorrow. Sunday it will ramp back up. And it DOES sound like a bad translation, haha!

  8. So I’m three days late reading this, but I hope by now things have tamped themselves down a bit for you. I love Joey’s idea for Everybody Chill the Fuck Out Day. We NEED that. But I best love this little aside that you slipped in so delicately: “Fuck Trump.” Indeed. Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him. I blame him directly for all my anxiety, and probably a lot of yours too. What a mess he’s making of our country, and our world. Sorry – guess I’ve been holding my frustration scream in too long.

    • I wish so bad that I could tell you that it’s all in my rear view mirror, but it’s not. Yesterday was horrific, today was worse. I am actually at work now (Sunday) and will probably be here until 10 or so then back by 7am. I am tired. I am anxious and the depression is starting to creep in which is so goddamn inconvenient.

      I know it will pass, though. It just doesn’t feel like it will.

  9. You Must Be Gloria Fucking Gaynor, what with all the Surviving you do… then again, I’m trying desperately to get “caught up” on my blogs-reading, so what’s happening in your life over the course of weeks and months is flying by in hours/days/weeks in mine. Ain’t I a lucky bitch?

    Altho, I DID miss out on IANDOFUSCD (just random letters I strung together so I wouldn’t have to go back, ICYMI). Was it exceptionally wonderful for ya?

    • It’s been a goddamn roller coaster. Mostly shitty. Today has been more calm and we’re about to go see Blade Runner, so I’m looking forward to getting caught up in that for a few hours.

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