See? It Works

I have a question for you, but I’m not going to ask until the end of this post.

You know how I sometimes say that Randy isn’t always as funny as he thinks he his. Okay, in fairness, I say it more than sometimes. When he’s funny, though, he’s goddamn hilarious.

So, a few posts ago I wrote that we’re going to have another grandchild and that our granddaughter, baby girl, wants a sister, not a brother.

Here’s a conversation between my stepdaughter and her daughter. Baby girl was giving her mom ideas for a boy name:

Baby girl:  How about pickles? Then you could yell PIIICKLLLEESS!

Momma: You know, if you have a brother, it will be a baby, not a dog.

Baby girl: Well, what if he knocks something over? Huh? Piiiccckklleess. See? It works.

Randy has been having a lot of fun making pickle pictures for his daughter and posting them on Facebook.

Here’s my question. How the fuck am I not going to call this baby “Pickles”?

I don’t have any new links this week. I’ve been kind of slacking a bit. Or maybe I should call this my “I’m thinking about stuff” phase of writing.

And here are the pictures, in order, that Randy sent to his daughter.

40 Thoughts.

  1. I believe it’s clear that you don’t have a choice in the matter. The child has spoken, and it is a heartfelt and legitimate offering.

    The birth certificate will probably say something socially acceptable, but the real name will always be Pickle.

    Poor Pickle will end up having to explain that to grandchildren in 2080.

  2. Can’t remember what prompted me to start following your blog, but this post reminded me of why. Y’all are my kind of people. Poor Pickles.

  3. Worked for Buddy’s wife on The Dick Van Dyke Show. Pickles was the ditzy, glamorous wife of a lovable comic. She couldn’t cook, but she sure was handy with false eyelashes, and that shit ain’t easy.

    Now, if it’s a boy, the kid’s going to have to be some super cool hero type to overcome that moniker. He will have this blog as evidence when it comes to the blame game.

    More than likely, Pickles will be a compassionate, loving child with an affinity for cucumbers.

  4. If Randy’s daughter wants to up the ante, name the new baby something tricky to pronounce and impossible to spell without the extra K and a missing vowel.
    THEN, he can call it ‘Pickles.’
    Yes, I called it an ‘it.’
    You guys are gonna call it Pickles… let’s see who gets therapy first.

  5. Congratulations, Pickle’s Grandmama and Grandaddy 🙂

    Unusual color for a baby’s room…. the one you’ll have to pick to go with the baby lithographs that Grampy is designing 😉

    But, it will be perfect and express your family’s delightful quirks in the hilarious way that won’t permanently harm the baby…

  6. Fuck.
    Forgot to answer the question.
    ‘Pickles’ has become official.
    You have the pictures and this blog post to back you up.
    As soon as you see this baby, you re going to burst into crying laughing tears when you squeal, “Piiiiickles, I LOVE you!”

  7. My 9 year old grandson, Dylan, has a few nicknames. The ONE still most commonly used by family…. Dyl -Pickle, he always responds and still finds it humorous.

  8. My daughters call my mom Pickle Grandma because of her amazing pickles- these things stick. A grandchild that you call Pickles? Freaking genius.

  9. I had a friend who encouraged her daughter to help name the new baby as way to increase bonding. She chose the name “Petsmart”, her favorite store. The mom was horrified but the three year old daughter wouldn’t let her back out of the naming promise. He was Milo-Petsmart for quite awhile…

  10. At the moment of course, it is a mere gerkin. If it’s a boy, it will be a dill pickle.. a girl is a sweet pickle. Clearly, you folks need to spend more time in my refridgerator!

  11. I think it’s a great idea allowing the sibling to name the baby! My sister, who was ten years old when I was born, wanted my mother to name me Tinkerbell. Why the hell didn’t my mother listen to her? I ended up with a nickname for a full name—and I don’t even LIKE my name! People in my family tended to give me the nickname “Terence”. As it turned out, I am so much more a freaking Tinkerbell than anyone could have imagined! I even have her temper from time to time. HAHA!

    P.S. I couldn’t help but think of “Rugrats” with that name “Pickles”. 🙂 Just don’t let anyone call him “gherkin”! (Does she know definitely that it’s a boy?)

      • I agree with both of you! And sorry I leave such a glittery mess, Lisa! I can get that myself—you shouldn’t have to do clean up. Hahaha!!!! Henceforth, I shall be known as Tinkerbell, dammit! We should get to choose our own names as we grow older, so they can better suit our individual personalities.

        Definitely go with Pickles, no matter what the sex. From what I’ve seen of people with strange names, that child will turn into either a professional artist of some kind or a professional athlete. 🙂

  12. Your family is so freaking awesome!! I love Pickles but I have to say the woman who talked about the name ‘pets art’ made me laugh so hard I spit hot tea out through my nose. So so funny!!

  13. Pickles!
    Hmmm, well my grandchildren refer to my garden cucumbers as pickles. As if they come off the vine tasting that great. Lol

    And I have a favorite vibrator nicknamed “Pickles”

  14. Damn. You’re right – he’s hilarious.

    Although my son wanted to call my daughter “Hot Dog” and we got over that.

    Although, Pickles really would be a cool nickname.

    I’m torn now.

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