Sex, Lies and Scrapbooking

Just kidding about the sex. There’s no sex. Not here at least.

Middle Sister scrapbooks, or at least she used to. She does impressive work. I am the big sister and I’ve always taken my job of hanging shit on my two younger sisters seriously. I teased the shit out of Middle Sister for her Martha Stewart ways. If I am honest, I have to admit that Middle Sister has some gorgeous fucking scrapbooks. 

I would never scrapbook. It’s just not me. I want to spend my creative time differently than wrangling glue guns and glitter.

Anyway, I am talking about scrapbooks and lies today at In The Powder Room. Please stop by!

FINE! I tried to scrapbook. I did. My scrapbook was complete shit. I don’t have the patience it takes to scrapbook and I have the fine motor skills of a toddler. I also might have just insulted all toddlers. 

I also had an article on Mock Mom. If you haven’t visited Mock Mom yet, you really should. Think The Onion for parental type articles. There is some funny shit there.

If you are so inclined, please leave me a comment at In The Powder Room or on Mock Mom. 

I’m lonely.

Edited to add: When I say ‘I’m lonely’ I only mean that I am usually a tiny bit mortified when I have a guest post somewhere and no one comments. It feels like the lunchroom in high school all over again. I promise, I generally don’t feel lonely. Sometimes, but I don’t think any human gets a pass on feeling lonely sometimes. 

20 Thoughts.

  1. I’ve never tried scrapbooking – I feel guilty, but also oddly free. I’m not an organized person at all, but I like doing artsy stuff when I can. Growing vegetables, beading and dabbling in crochet and knitting (plus a little writing) are the ways I spend my creative time.

    I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely – you have an exquisitely bright, sharp sense of humor – I can just imagine that you have tons of admirers just waiting for your next words. Thank you for publishing your writing – I love seeing the notifications that you’ve written something else funny as hell…

    • Oh man…I need to take that out…I was more just asking for comments on those other sites because I am always mildly horrified when NO ONE comments. haha. I am not especially lonely otherwise..I mean, I think part of the human condition is we sometimes feel lonely, but I am generally cool in that area.

      And thank you!! You are very kind and I appreciate this very much.

  2. Ok, kind of horrifying to not be asked to log in using a preferred ID on that site since this is my comment which clearly displays hubby & my Facebook profile(!):
    I too once dabbled in scrapbooking. I had high hopes & even bought a bunch of supplies to make one from my honeymoon pics but they still sit untouched in the cabinet in our guestroom. I put my talents to work making funny shit for my husband using the bazillion pictures he snapped of my feet & of him kissing/massaging my feet. At least someone got some enjoyment & honesty out of this trend!

  3. Thanks for the compliment – and for tagging me in a post that begins with “There is no sex here.”

    If you ever want to try scrapbooking again, I think the most important part is the journaling. I would love to know the story behind some of our old family photos. Obviously, you would have a great scrapbook if you approached it as telling the story with the pictures as illustrations – because you can tell a great story. No glitter necessary,

    And don’t use a glue gun – you need to use archival materials/glue to make sure the photos aren’t damaged over time 😉

  4. Ah man but I came here for the sex part! J/k I totally came here for the scrapbooking which was something I enjoyed doing PK (pre-kid) because ain’t nobody got time for that now.

    Um, and yay that you’re on other sites! How you know you “made it.”

  5. I’ve always wanted to learn a craft. Sailor’s valentine, fancy-schmancy wreaths, quilts that make people breathless just to look at them. I bought two of those cosmetic train cases, and one is filled with all the doo-dads I can’t throw away, because I’m planning to Etsy-fy them.

    What are we thinking?

    Writing is as addicting as smoking, and better for your health, although it is possible to channel a 1940s journalist, typing furiously with index fingers only, cigarette dangling from his lips and a lock of hair dangling adorably on his forehead. There isn’t enough time to be a crafter and a writer. Writing is a craft.

    Besides blogging, I’ve got contest essays going, a memoir, and six books to edit and make presentable for Kindle.

    Save all that stuff you don’t know what to do with, and give it to your sister! Problem of clutter solved. Family relations, strained.

    • Hahaha! Right! I have SO MANY FUCKING PROJECTS GOING! And work a full time job. I am also having a lot of fun with it. It is fulfilling…still…I wouldn’t mind being proficient at one thing where it takes the use of my manual dexterity. Of which I have little

  6. OK, I didn’t have a single thing to say about scrapbooking (or vagina steaming, for that matter; please duly note the restraint I am employing by not indulging in any obvious dirty jokes here) although when I used to keep journals, I used to draw in them which gave them a sort of scrapbooky feel. All that, of course, came to a screeching halt around 2003 when I first made it online…
    I did, however, suggest another ridiculous name for the children…

  7. I feel like not having children absolves me from any responsibility to attempt scrapbooking, and for that I am eternally grateful. I will hop over and have a read of your guess posts!

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