Randy and I went to the grocery this morning. We didn’t need much, just beer, potatoes and two picture frames. I had to frame my picture of me and Daryl Dixon. I also got a picture of Ryan Hurst (the guy who played Opie on Sons Of Anarchy). My sister in law loves Opie and I asked Ryan to speak with her on the phone and that call made her day. Hearing my sister in law get all squealy over Opie was every bit as much fun as having Norman Reedus wrap his arm around me.
That was a lie. Having Norman Reedus wrap his arm around me was better than making my sister in law happy, but it wasn’t way better.
Having Norman Reedus wrap his arm around me might have been way better.
But, I digress.
We left the grocery and I kept hearing this noise like a car whimpering in pain. The first thing I did was convince myself that someone else’s car was making the vaguely disturbing noise. The second thing I did was realize the sound was definitely coming from our car.
So, I did the only thing that a responsible grown up should do in that situation. I rolled up the window and started thinking about the weird sound coming out of the ice maker of our fridge.
The ice maker is making a sound that has a definite rhythm to it. It sounds like ‘Ke KE KE Ke ke ke Ke KE KE KE Ke ke ke.’ If Sam and Dean heard it, they’d be consulting books and loading shotguns up with rock salt. 
The more I listen to this sound, the more I am convinced that the fridge is reciting an incantation. I am pretty sure my refrigerator is trying to raise the dead. Don’t take my word for it. I recorded it. If you play this, though, and your major appliances start acting up, I am in no way responsible.
I know why the fridge is making noise. There is an ice maker in the freezer that has never worked, or if it does, we’ve never used it. Our freezer is crammed full. Our way of shopping is to buy things and freeze them and then buy unfrozen stuff to cook through out the week because we never remember to thaw what is in the freezer. We also don’t mark what we freeze, so our freezer is crammed full with foil wrapped mystery meat.
Anyway, the fridge is so jammed, that there is a box of PF Chang’s egg rolls resting against the little bar that triggers the ice maker to start up. The ice maker doesn’t actually produce ice. It just whispers the zombie apocalypse spell.
We’re all going to die because of a box of frozen PF Chang egg rolls.
Sorry.
Oh, in case you missed it…I’m in a book! Here’s the post!
And the car???
wellll….I’m still choosing to ignore that. It has something to do with the heater, I’m pretty sure.
I am unbelievably jealous that you got a hug off Norman Reedus! But, on the plus side, if your fridge does start the Zombie Apocalypse you could show Norman’s picture to them and the zombies will leave you alone. ( This is my excuse for having a poster of him on prominent display in my hall!).
That is just good planning!
Our fridge actually came with a helpful diagram to inform us of the many noises it would make. (http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv255/Trillz0r/476472_3554672300059_618561560_o.jpg if you want to check it out)
I still have absolutely no clue what any of those mean. Luckily, zombies aren’t pictured, so I feel fairly safe 🙂
You never know, though..
That’s true, but we’re big on the zombie preparedness at case de trillie. ^_^
*casa
My freezer now hums occasionally, loudly enough to make the dog bark because he thinks somebody else is in the house.
Haha…you know my pain, then.
Reminds me of a poem:
Some say the world will end in fire
Some say Ice…..
Car Heater, and Ice Maker? either way you are doomed. Maybe we all are. I am not playing the sound clip just to be safe.
It doesn’t matter if you play it or not…once the zombies are free, it’s all over.
I’m staying in Berkeley right now, so in case you have triggered the zombie apocalypse, is there any sure way to tell zombies from deadheads? I think I could get in a lot of trouble if I mistakenly decapitate a bunch of deadheads…
hahaha…yeah, you have to make sure they are actually zombies.
Damn! I think my television heard it!
Hahah…you’re screwed.
Just ring it with salt and you’ll be fine 😉
I’m afraid to pull the fridge out from the wall. I hate to think what has collected behind it.
that, my friend, is a valid point
Just turn up the radio. If you can’t hear it, it doesn’t exist. Right?
Hahah..yep! That’s how i fix cars!
I opened your posts today because I saw the word “zombie” and it lured me in like a shiny object. Have a good Monday, from one Darryl fan to another!
I haven’t watched the season finale yet..so I have to avoid all things Walking Dead today….
You have a good Monday, too!!
I guess I should have sent you my phone number so I could have talked to Opie. I’m not quite over that yet. I did see that Megacon is going to be here in April but I’m not going to be able to make it. No Opie for me.
My fridge makes a crazy sound like that. BUT mine isn’t due to PF Chang egg rolls…and now I’m afraid.
I know you are still harboring envy…not gonna lie, it was pretty awesome. 🙂
is it awkward or uncomfortable that I’ve nominated myself your biggest fan? I will let you know when it’s a tattoo time 🙂 I show Mike Tyson myself with the title of yer first solo book.
It’s not awkward or uncomfortable at all! But I am awkward and uncomfortable…so who knows? Either way… 🙂
oh.. I hate when I’m home alone and the fridge decides to make noises. Freaks me out every time!
I don’t usually get freaked out by noises in the house. Unless it’s heavy breathing or growling. THen I’m freaked out. Although, that has never happened when I was alone, so maybe I’d handle it. HAHAHAHHA
LOL, we have a similar method to our freezer as you guys. Jam it pack full, then we can’t find anything in there, so we just go buy something for dinner. AND, we have that same situation with the ice maker, ’cause my husband buys so much ice cream that he sticks one gallon container right on top of the ice bin so the machine is constantly making that weird grinding noise. Very funny post!
Haha THANK YOU!
I’m glad I’m not alone
Every day at around 4:30 pm my house creaks loudly. Every day. That must be zombies, right?
That’s bad, Sharon…that means they are zombies on a schedule. That’s a whole new breed.
I’m totally distracted by the fact that I heard your voice. What were you warning me about?? something that rhymes with wombies?
Hahhaha!
Why does no one ever give any love to Ron Perlman? He was on SOA. He also played the love interest Vincent on Beauty & The Beast, and yet it seems like more people admit to being attracted to Rhea Perlman than Ron.
That aside thank you for sharing your voice with us. It’s quite nice. You should do more audio work. Your voice doesn’t sound anything like his, but your elocution reminds me of…oh, what’s-his-name. It’s that guy who was on Sons Of Anarchy. He also used to be on some TV show with the lady from the first two Terminator movies, and he would read poetry. I’m sure it’ll come to me eventually. I think he was married to Danny DeVito.
HAHAHA…Yeah..that guy…that you were just talking about.
Thank you! I can honestly say that is the first time my voice has been compared to Clay Morrow’s voice.
My freezer makes a weird knocking sound in the middle of the night. I keep wondering if someone is trapped in there and trying to get out!
Hahah…I would think the same thing..
so after trying three times to put my comment where I should subscribe to your blog…. I am gonna stick with my original comment that I am not listening to it because I already have enough appliances with attitude I don’t need to add a zombie fridge.
Sometimes my fridge smells like I’ve been storing zombies in it.
Your fridge and your car should hook up with my office’s fax machine and my coworker’s paper shredder. They could all start up a coven or something together. Demonic voices come from the fax when nothing’s being sent and I’m 99% certain the paper shredder has eaten at least two spiders.
That sound would have freaked me out too! Once, something fell from my shower wall into the tub and made a huge bang. I grabbed my dog and left the house in my PJ’s and would not go back in! Yeah, I roll like that too 🙂