We had a nice evening.
We haven’t been going out for dinner as often because we’re adopting a healthier lifestyle. It’s kind of dumb to buy food every week, throw it out and then buy different food at restaurants.
We decided that one night at the Mexican restaurant would be okay, though.
We talked, laughed and enjoyed a delightful meal. Then it was time to go.
Randy does this thing where when he’s finished with something, he gets up and walks away without a word. It used to be worse. We’d be in a restaurant just chilling after paying our bill and he would get up without a word and walk out. He was done. Granted, after listening to me bitch about it for about 5 years, he does now ask if I’m ready to go before he just gets up and walks out. But still, when he’s finished with something..then he’s finished.
He paid our bill and shit went downhill fast.
An important part of my Mexican restaurant experience is buying two small York peppermint patties at checkout time. I specifically put two quarters in my jeans pocket because I wanted those peppermint patties.
Randy was already in the car when I put my quarters in the piggy bank marked ‘candy money’ and went to get my two York peppermint patties. They didn’t have any.
Are you fucking kidding me? I already put my money in.
I had a choice of Blow Pops, a Ring Pop, or Laffy Taffy. I got a lemon and a cherry Laffy Taffy.
Me: What kind of Mexican restaurant doesn’t have York peppermint patties?
Randy: What did you get?
Me: I had to get Laffy Taffy. Fuck Willy Wonka.
Randy: Why did you get it if you didn’t want it?
Me: I already put my money in the piggy bank.
Me: GODDAMMIT. The lemon isn’t lemon. It’s fucking banana. Why do they even MAKE banana flavored candy?
Randy: I’ll take it.
I unwrapped the stupid banana Laffy Taffy with ease and Randy ate it. The freak.
Then I tried to unwrap the cherry one. It was like the candy and the wrapper were conjoined twins. I struggled with it through an entire red light. Randy even chuckled while watching. He doesn’t chuckle easily.
I managed to get the bulk of the cherry Laffy Taffy and then tried to bite the rest of it out of the wrapper.
Me: OW!
Randy: What?
Me: I just bit my fucking finger.
At this point, Randy might have graduated from chuckle to laughter.
Me: This is bullshit. I’m going to need an ice cream.
I wanted to go to The Cone. The Cone is a place very near our house that serves soft serve.
Randy wanted to try a different place that is supposed to be the greatest soft serve in the world. They apparently have soft serve that will change your life. I really wanted the Cone, but being the sweet wife that I am, even after the Laffy Taffy fiasco, I agreed to go to the other place.
We go in and its a serve yourself kind of place. There are knobs and and multiple ice cream receptacles and way too many options for toppings. I felt anxious right off the bat
Where do I start? What is the protocol? I can’t just start wandering around. Those teenage girls in soccer clothes would see right away that I was clueless and the douchey dad in the leather Sperry’s and cargo shorts would sneer. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part is they only had frozen soft serve yogurt. Yogurt is satan’s butt paste.
Randy just shook his head and walked toward the door. He knows my views on yogurt.
We drove in the opposite direction toward The Cone, which is where I wanted to go in the first place.
Just before the Cone are railroad tracks. Of course, we got stopped by the train. It was a long train with flat bed cars, so I didn’t even get to see graffiti. That’s the only thing good about waiting on trains is to look at the graffiti art.
I finally got my kid size soft serve cone. With sprinkles.
Now, all I have to do is get past the remorse of eating Mexican food, a partially melted piece of candy that caused teeth marks on my left pointer finger and ice cream.
I’ll just double up on the treadmill.
Tomorrow.
Haha you said butt paste. Butt paste butt paste butt paste.
I pretty much always get fried ice cream at Mexican restaurants because fatty likes her ice cream with her quesadillas and pinto beans that she orders just so she can be the douche that over-pronounces it like, “PEEEENTO BEEEANS.”
HAHHAHA…I’m usually too stuffed with peeeento beeeans to eat a whole dessert. the goddamn peppermint patties are PERFECT. I’m still pouty about that shit.
First world problems, right?
Ha ha ha, you should send all your banana candy to me..and the frozen yoghurt, I’d kill for some of that right now, so damn hot in here!
🙂
I would gladly if it would make the trip. 🙂
It was horribly hot yesterday, but today is beautiful…it’s not supposed to even reach 80 degrees today.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH FROZEN YOGURT?!?!?!?! My wife loves it and we take the kids all the time! It’s tasty 🙂
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I saw this coming from your title though. You should know better than to drop your money before seeing the candy selection…. That’s a big treat! Especially when you are trying to eat healthy!
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I am glad you got your kid cone though……..
Yogurt in any form is nauseating to me. I WANT to like it, I do…but I can’t even take the smell.
I know..I know. But they ALWAYS have the peppermint patties. Always. I had no idea I’d be let down in such a big bad way.
Sounds like a rough night…. I completely get it.
“Where do I start? What is the protocol? I can’t just start wandering around.” OMG. This is me. Everywhere I go.
No remorse! You totally earned that cone. And the dinner.
I’m glad I’m not alone. It’s like all the air gets sucked out of the room when I have to make decisions and there are strangers around.
I got one word for ya: PRALINES!!!
Our El Fenix has silver-dollar-sized ones that are the absolute perfect size…
That does sound lovely…but I am a creature of habit..set in my ways…and I wanted TWO York peppermint patties. The small kind. I couldn’t just go buy one because they come in the larger size and the chocolate to peppermint ratio is off.
Oh my goodness, it’s like I wrote this myself. Everything, from the “trying to get healthier” to the hatred of frozen yogurt resonates. I feel for you. If it were me, the world would not be quite right again until I got my peppermint patties, dammit.
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Yeah…I’m gonna have to fix this sooner or later.
So the first time I ate froyo I got violently ill. 25 years passed and now I eat it like once a week. I honestly can’t tell the difference between it and soft serve ice cream. I usually get the cheesecake flavor mixed with chocolate or cherry and maybe some cherry compote and crushed oreos. Yum!
I would just like the crushed Oreo part..or whole Oreos..whichever
Modern frozen yogurt is disgusting. The kind they had in the 80s–the kind that was pretending to be ice cream so you didn’t feel as bad about eating it–was edible. This tangy shit is for the birds. I refuse to eat it, although my kids are OK with it. Also gross? Banana Laffy Taffy. Banana flavored anything is repulsive, but banana Laffy Taffy is a crime against humanity. And WHY are those fucking things so hard to get unwrapped? And WHY is it that there is a statistically significant number of times when eating a Laffy Taffy that YOU WILL BITE YOUR FINGER? BECAUSE I TOO HAVE DONE THIS. WTF? Normally I eat like a regular human being, and when eating “finger foods” (potato chips, cheese and crackers, French fries) I manage to get the food in my mouth without an accompanying digit. But I have bitten my fucking finger more than once eating Laffy Taffy. What. The. Fuck?!?
HAHHAHAH…I am so glad I’m not alone in the finger biting Laffy Taffy cycle.
well, you see now I have to google laffy taffy. This is what comes from being a Canadian.
Glad you finally got your cone and the sprinkles probably made it all worthwhile.
Well..not really. I really wanted the peppermint patties.
The ice cream WAS good though.
I like the banana Laffy Taffy, but ever since the last taffy incident that left me holding one of my crowns I won’t touch the stuff. I like that overly sweet, artificial banana flavor.
I also have no problem with Satan’s butt paste, er, frozen yogurt, either. I think know the place of which you speak, or a variation thereof. They have the wall of handles where you dispense a base flavor and then a bunch of toppings to make that which is supposed to be healthy that much more unhealthy. Still, though, I prefer ice cream.
Yep! That is the place!
My mother knew I hated Satan’s butt paste, but she was also in the camp of, “If she won’t eat it, I’ll try and trick her into eating it disguised in some way, and when she says it’s great, I’ll stage the big reveal! So on one camping trip, we stopped for ice cream. Mom and Dad went to get the cones while I stayed in the air conditioned RV with our dogs. They came back and handed me a cone of blueberry “ice cream”. I took a few licks. “This isn’t ice cream, it’s frozen yogurt!” My parents exchanged a look. “Of course it’s ice cream, honey, this place doesn’t sell frozen yogurt,” my mother lied. I tried a bit more, but I still knew something wasn’t right. Eventually my mom offered to finish the rest, oohing and aahing dramatically about how good it was.
Joke was on them when I got pukey several more miles down the road. Go figure, Mom came clean about the butt paste switcheroo and apologized.
See? We know what’s up!
Tomorrow’s better. I have had episodes where I tried to suck the wrapper off the taffy, because at a certain point, it’s just molecularly welded on and you might as well. And, banana-flavored ANYthing should be just illegal. Also watermelon, pear, and apple and pretty much anything but citrus and berry.
We’re trying to eat healthier too, but I decided that, as rarely as we eat out these days, THOSE CALORIES DO NOT COUNT. Neither does the Cold Stone Ice Cream afterwards, and yeah, what is WITH all the self-serve choices at some of those places? Last time, when the teenager in soccer shorts behind the counter full of toppings asked me what I wanted *with* my ice cream, and I was like, “Um. A spoon?” Duh. Somehow, what I GOT looked nothing like all those amazing 100x pictures of amazing ice cream sundae combos on the walls.
I love the get up and walk out story– we have a relative who does that. They’ll be at our house, visiting, from out of town. Then we’ll see a truck pulling out of our driveway, and we’re like…”Oh. He…left??” He just gets up without a word, like he’s going to the kitchen for a water, and …LEAVES. wth?
Yeah, the first few times he did it, I thought he was upset or something…but my darling hubs often has his head in the clouds..he’s not TRYING to be rude..he just does it.
Honestly, I do KIND of the same thing. When we have people over and I’m done…I will just get up and go to bed without saying anything, but I do it on purpose..I do it to avoid the ‘Oh..don’t go to bed..stay up with us’ thing.
His family is used to it by now.
I would Fed-Ex you a box of Peppermint Patties Right Now! Laffy Taffy banana bullshit. Thanks for the laugh – you always deliver!
Hahah! THANK YOU! My world isn’t going to be right until I get some. And yes..banana flavored candy is HORRIBLE.
Has soft-serve frozen yogurt changed? It’s been a long time since I had any… the ’80s maybe? But I couldn’t tell it from ice cream. Now you have me wanting a chocolate-dipped cone from the Fresh-Freeze in Eureka, or some home made ice cream made from cream from our milk cow.
No, I think it’s the same. I didn’t like it then, either. People say you can’t tell the difference..but I can..I can taste that butt pasty yogurt tang..
I’m also a freak.. I love Satan’s butt paste, especially if it’s frozen, flavoured and served in a cup…
I’ll leave now.
Hubs likes it too..he even drinks Kefir. Or however you spell it…I think he’s not completely human.
yogurt is extremely disappointing. Every Time.
Laffy Taffy would pull all my fillings right out.
LOVE ice cream. It’s probably my absolute favorite…..but you how much I craveadoredesire mint/chocolate! Because….Junior Mints.
Also? Mexican food is my alltime fave. Except for Ethiopian food, but I couldn’t’ eat that every day. Mexican I could eat every. single. day.
Oh, me too…I eat chips like it’s going through a wood chipper…crumbs all over my shirt..on table..in my hair…
Great… now I want Mexican food and ice cream after… Damn pregnant woman problems! Anytime I hear about any food, I immediately MUST have it! Now to figure out which restaurant I want for lunch…
Ahhh, I remember those days…cheese coneys..all I wanted was cheese coneys.