Also, I am a motherfucking genius.
I have moments when I’m positive that I’ve run out of things to say and I’ll never write another blog post. I hate those days. They scare me because I’m not done here. I like this.
I love this.
Still, I have moments when I’m sure I’ve dried up.
It occurred to me, after swilling cough syrup for days, that I have a comedic gold mine in front of me. It’s been in front of me for years.
I have a friend at work who I instant message with every day. Many times. This is how we are able to get through our days. She is fucking hilarious. Brilliant even.
Sometimes our conversations have been just silly. For instance, today the word ‘poopyhead’ was used. We aren’t overly sophisticated. Other days, we’re fucking genius. I can’t tell you how often I’m trying to cover up snort with a cough or a yawn.
Working in cubicles is hard, y’all.
I could save these conversations and never run out of things to write about.
Then it dawned on me. This is a good idea, but I could make it so much better. I can tell my work friend that I’m going to start saving all of our conversations to blog about and that she has to be funny.
She will say boatloads of hilarious and awkward things. She will also probably call me a cunt or a dickhole for putting her on the spot.
I can’t wait for this. It’s gonna be great.
What is great about this is I would never identify her, so no one will know her name or who she is, yet I will get the credit for writing the blog post. I think I will name her Priscilla, Queen of the cubicles.
Here’s a sample:
Priscilla, Queen of the cubicle: I broke my fucking taco.
PQOTC: A real one..not the other one.
Me: HAHAHAH
PQOTC: I thought you might get confused.
Me: Good thing you have a gynecologist appointment. I dare you to go in and say “I broke my taco”.
PQOTC: lmfao. I’m totally going to thin kit.
Me: Thinning kit is what we should all do before going to the gynecologist.
Please don’t try to understand these conversations. They rarely make sense. Next time I will tell you all how we ended up talking about ‘second hand ass cancer’.
Edited: I just told her this post is up and she said: Broken Taco would be my Indian name.
ha ha ha ha ha…I can’t wait for these
I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner…
I need to start recording my thoughts I have while driving. I come up with all kinds of good things to blog while driving and forget as soon as I leave the car.
Also a good idea. I’ve forgotten a billion good ideas. At least a billion. Maybe a kajillion.
Sometimes I wish I had a real job because I know I’d be able to find the humor in it…then I remember how inept I am at the de facto jobs I have and I think “fuck cubicles”.
No shit. Fuck cubicles…but if you have to..you should have your very own Priscilla, queen of the cubicle to be friends with.
you ARE a fucking genius!! haha I love that idea. I happen to think texting convos are hysterical. I’ve used a couple in posts before. Can’t wait to see yours with “Priscilla”. *snort* even that name is funny……
I get material all day long. It’s awesome.
Now if I could just get all my friends to text me funny things about cooking stuff or food or kitchens, I would be set too! Can’t wait to read more of these!
We’ll probably never be funny again now that I’ve decided to write it down…
Ah, EVERYTHING is fodder for a writer!
This is so true…like the arrogant doctor I saw today..
Texting material is the untapped genius of our age, I bet. I saved one for a post a long time ago, when I mistook why Shane was asking me about where our bottle of Jose (Cuervo) was, and it still makes me laugh. He thought it was stolen, but he spelled it Hose. I thought we’d been robbed by yard bandits. Major crossed wires…
Can’t wait to see these!
HAHAHAHAAH…that’s hilarious. And I want tequila
Gurrrll…you are my kinda thinker! Keep going with your blog! I have got to meet you one day! Peace and blessings to you and yours.
Thank you!!!!
Broken taco. Yes. That is all.
Hahahah…Right?
OMG!!! This is going to be awesome!! I can’t wait.
🙂
Jackie
I just wish I had been doing this all along!
You are both hilarious and a genius. Texting convos are always funny!
Thank you!!! It really does help us get through the day.
Yay for cubical buddies! I don’t know how I would survive without mine. That said, covering up laughter can be quite hard at times.
yeah, I deal with that every day. 🙂
Who knew that your muse was sitting in the next cubicle over? Brilliant!
Now I need to go find mine.
Haha…yeah, she’s actually on the other side of the building..but still…
Broken taco? I hate it when that happens.
Hey Broken Taco, you and PQOTC are gonna be famous, ya know, I just snorked twice in 20 seconds…this is gonna be great!
Haha…that is awesome!!!!
People are always funnier on the fly. Tell her you realized the whole blog things is a stupid idea. Then sit back and hilarity will ensue 😉
Meh, I already don’t have to worry about that. She’s like the Tasmanian devil and I’m pretty sure it gives her short term memory issues. I’m really hoping that she’s reading the comments.
When my 20-year-old son was a toddler, he was hilarious! I thought I’d never forget what he did/said because it was so funny. But they didn’t have blogs back then (hell, they barely had the INTERNET back then) and I was stupid and didn’t write anything down. If I had, I would have half of my posts written already. Sigh.
Right? My kids have been pretty hilarious too..I should have at least written this shit down years ago. I also should have a lot saved for retirement by now…we need a time machine.
Weird, uncensored friends are always the best ones. 😉
I know. It’s like your subconscious gets to come out to play.
I love work mates like that – I used to work with one, then I changed company but we still message each other like that most days. Sometimes it’s the only thing that gets me through the day !!!
Have a great one !
Me
She’d be better off someplace else (as would I) so I hope she does make a change…and I very nearly mean that!
This is hilarious! I’ve also been meaning to write down some of the funny stuff at work. Now, how to get them on the blog anonymously is my mission 🙂
Good luck! Can you slightly change them to mask reality?