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Move On Over, Gwyneth


So, the other night, Randy called out to me from the office.
Randy: Hey, did you see what Gwneth Paltrow is doing?
Me: Nope.
Randy: She’s selling candles that smell like her vagina.
Me: Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Randy: You have a birthday coming up.

Drunkard’s Path


On Monday, I will be starting a project at work that has been hanging over my head since I started working there 5 years ago. The project is critical and extremely visible. So, you know, pretty much my worst nightmare ever. It is early Sunday afternoon right now and I’m doing everything I can to keep my anxiety in check. I’m not having a huge amount of luck.


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