As much as I love my weekends, Sunday is always tinged with a little sadness. It’s like I can actually hear the weekend screaming as it dies.
I was going to say ‘as it slowly dies’ but then I realized, it’s a swift fucking death. We should all be so lucky.
I decided this morning to be cognizant of my thoughts as I was getting ready to start my work week. Although, in the spirit of honesty, these thoughts can happen any weekday morning. However, this belongs to Monday. These are the things I thought about before work on Monday:
1. What the fuck am I going to wear? I should plan this shit out the night before. Maybe today I should make an effort to look professional.
2. HAHAHAHFUCKINGHAHAAH. Nope. Yoga pants it is.
3. I’m definitely taking a xanax.
4. Just put the goddamn headphones on as soon as you get there.
5. You are a motherfucking badass.
6. I am so much not a badass.
7. Your bedroom has been messy since 1977. When are you going to have a grown up bedroom?
8. Where’s my deodorant?
9. Fuck it. I’ll just stink. People will leave me alone. Or they’ll sniff me.
10. God, I hope no one sniffs me.
11. Maybe I’ll win the lottery this week. I’d still go to work for like a week or two just to sit there and blatantly do nothing.
12. So, it will be like the other days without the ‘blatant’ part.
13. I should buy a lottery ticket.
14. Or just set my money on fire. Same difference.
15. Wonder if Randy made my coffee yet. I don’t smell coffee.
16. I should buy a coffee maker for every room in the house.
17. Except the bathrooms. Ew ew ew ew ew.
18. Especially Joey’s bathroom. The coffee would taste like Axe.
19. Why the fuck do teenage boys marinate in that shit? Do teenage girls like that? I don’t remember liking that.
20. Maybe I should just call in sick.
21. Nah, Already have the yoga pants on. Might as well get this shit over with.
Also, apropos of nothing, check this blog post out…follow the link…and vote for Foxy Wine Pocket for a badass blog award. She is awesome and I really hope she wins.