When you can’t think of anything good, just dig a little deeper. Perhaps loosen up your definition of “good”. Trust me, you’ll find something.
Someone sent me a link to a site that has shitty life hacks. I would put a link, but the video ads made the site lag. I don’t like sharing frustrating links. It would be easy to find with a google search, though. Anyway, they made me laugh.
Laughing is good.
Laughing is essential.
Randy and I are trying to spend time being positive. We are saying shit like “I’m positive women’s rights are going to be set back 70 years” and “I’m positive the rise in hate crimes is going to be breathtaking”.
We might be doing the “positive” thing wrong.
This is my birthday month. I’ll be 54 in just a few weeks. The last time I demanded Randy make a big deal out of my birthday, was for my fiftieth. I told him that I expected gifts every day for my birthday month. The first thing he got me was a bubble machine. You know, what every 50 year old woman wants. Not gonna lie, it was fun playing with when the grand kids were here. But still. He opens with a bubble machine? And he did not follow the “gift a day” rule. It fizzled before Valentine’s day. This birthday? I just want to feel light for a day or two. I’m hoping we can slip down and see our mountain friends, but that depends on work issues and mother nature.
Anyway, Randy tried to help me feel more positive right now.
Randy: Tell me 50 things you dig about being over 50.
Me: How the fuck am I going to come up with 50 things when my hips are aching this hard?
Randy: Chicken.
Me: I swear to Christ, if you start making chicken noises, I will set your face on fire.
Randy:…
Me: Seriously. Don’t do it.
I used to be more stubborn than this. Tell me not to do something? Watch how fast that shit happens. I might have been afraid of every fucking human on the planet when I was younger, but a challenge? I kicked challenges in the ass. I used to be more like that. I’m getting too wussy in my old age.
Seriously, Michelle? You moved half way across the country with 500 bucks in your pocket once. You had cancer and a baby in the same year. One time you drove an entire day to get to a beach so you could cry over your broken heart. You can’t come up with a dinky list about shit that is awesome about aging? Fuck that. Challenge accepted.
Let’s do this. I can come up with 50 things. I mean, it’s not like I said I’d come up with 51 or anything. Here are 50 things I dig about being over 50:
- The streak of gray that frames the right side of my face.
- Getting older with my best friend.
- Finally getting comfortable with asking for help.
- Okay, that is only kind of true. But it is a little true and it totally counts.
- Never wearing stilettos again.
- Having a “shaving optional” life.
- Breaking up with the bathroom scale.
- Feeling good about not offering up excuses.
- Embracing the silly.
- Developing friendships that feel like family.
- Making peace with my vulnerability.
- Not giving a fuck about designer anything.
- I am going to hijack the list for just a few lines.
- I mean, c’mon, fifty is a lot and Randy just gave me a bourbon.
- But I digress
- We are going to be okay.
- We are. The world is telling us that they want us to be okay.
- Maybe not all of the humans are telling us that, but enough are.
- The midterm elections are extremely important.
- Vote in 2018. Find ways to get the word out that voting can’t be optional.
- We really are going to be okay.
- Okay, I am just cheating at this point. Number twenty two shouldn’t even count as one of the 50.
- Watching my children as adults.
- Staring in awe at how capable and resilient and amazing they are.
- Giving my honest opinion, even when I get astonished responses.
- Apparently, being honest is shocking or funny.
- Not giving a fuck about going out in public with no makeup.
- Decorating my house any damn way I please.
- Playing the age card is the shit.
- Canoeing and camping with people from work? Oooooh…yeah, I ‘m too old for that.
- You guys, maybe 50 was too many.
- Never shopping in the feminine hygiene aisle ever again.
- Discounts. Discounts are awesome. I mean, Randy is far more eligible than I am, but I can ride on his AARP coattails.
- Experiencing new music layered over years and years of music experience.
- Growing into the patience it takes to bake.
- Accepting my patience will always be limited.
- Granny panties.
- Full disclosure, I’ve loved granny panties since forever.
- Watching my niece as she starts high school and catching glimpses of the woman she is becoming.
- Feeling rolling swells of pride about our grandchildren.
- Whether it be because they are kicking ass on the skating rink, or developing the perfect withering look.
- Watching my nephew go from the last little in the family to bushy haired adolescent with the widest smile on the goddamn planet.
- Well, the last little on my side of the family. We have lots of littles on Randy’s side.
- Being perfectly happy to hang out at home, listening to loud music, and having cocktails with my big man.
- This list really has very little to do with aging.
- Sorry.
- Not really. I mean, if you can come up with 50 things that are great about being over 50, then I would love to read them.
- Having rooms and rooms of memories from roller skating to Jungle Boogie to winning a dance off in a night club to reading an essay I wrote to an auditorium of people.
- Remembering how it feels to be young and realizing that I am still the same me. Just creakier.
- Not caring what strangers think. I ride on the back of my shopping cart through the parking lot, skip down the street or walk on the edge of the sidewalk like it is a tightrope. I do not care who is watching.
- Knock knock.
I had to add an extra one because number 22 didn’t count. But I’m done with this list. So, sorry I didn’t finish the knock knock joke. Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
That last line is for Lola.
Randy started photographing a stuffed dog and making up stories for me as a way to make me laugh and to remind me that I’m not alone. Now I suspect he’s doing it because he loves to. Throw in Alfie the kitty and Randy goes full dork.
Just turned 54 myself, literally last week, so I feel obligated to add a few more
1-not caring about the latest celebrity gossip, I mean I never really did, but now I don’t have people look a me like, don’t you know who that is?
2-Finding out that people younger than me look way older. That has finally kicked in in a good way.
3-Accepting my wrinkles, spots, and all my wiggly parts.
You hit all the other good ones, so cheers and happy birthday!
Yes! I love those as well! And Happy birthday to you, too!!!
Happy birthday to you, you youngster! May you have the lightness of heart and peace in your soul that you desire. XO I have to hand it to you, I do not think I could come up with a list of 50 things. One of the good things about being over 50 is I can be lazy about coming up with lists! HAHA!!!
Thank you so much! And I really didn’t come up with 50 things, either. I totally cheated.
LOVE your list. A few additions:
1) Being over 50 means that I’m out of the prime-time for getting hit on in bars or wolf whistled by random idiots. Oh wait, that might still happen but I’m deaf now so totally don’t hear it. OK…50? Deaf? Either way, yea me!
2) I swear (FUCK YEAH!) a lot and people think it’s cute now. Didn’t happen when I was 25.
3) I can nag (OK, I DO nag) friends and fam about voting, the importance of regular doc appointments, eating more veggies (and, c’mon, what the hell’s wrong with eggplant – it’s AWESOME!), exercise and all that shit and….and….waddyaknow, they don’t snap off at me for my hectoring ways. They get that I love them. I care. Huh.
Getting older – it’s not all sore muscles and fucked up knees. Also too, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I LOVE your additions!!!! And thank you for the birthday wishes!
I have a little over a year before I hit 50, but your list is pretty dead-on for 48-going-on-49, too. Except the granny panties. No can do.
I have never cared about underwear. I mean, I guess I had a brief fling with Victoria’s Secret, but mostly, give me a 12 pack of cotton panties and I’m thrilled.
This is my birthday month, too, and I’ll be 63 which is definitely over 50. I love all of yours and mine are:
Letting go, without guilt, of “friends” who don’t hold up their end of the friendship.
And things I don’t like because someone I DO like gave them to me.
New favorite saying: not my circus, not my monkeys. (Polish proverb)
I LOVE your list! We’ve been weeding through our things and getting rid of them. Slow process, but progress has been made. So yeah, letting go of things regardless of where they came from is freeing.
Now that I’m fifty two, nobody questions my devotion to my cat. Apparently the term “cat lady” kicks in at 50.
When I say things, people listen and nod, like I know what I’m talking about, instead of rolling their eyes.
I like my gray hairs because people SHOULD listen to me by now, and without the badges of aging, a 4’11” woman gets no respect.
#32 on your list.
I am listening to Randy baby talk to Alfie the kitty as I write this. Hahahha. Yeah, at 5’2″ I feel you.
I hope your birthday is kick ass!
Its a cool idea Randy had & good for you for accepting the challenge & giving it a go. Sometimes you need a reminder of the “little things” that aren’t so little when you realize they make things better.
Thank you! And yes, little things make life better.
Being over 50 is OK, it certainly beats the hell out of the alternative. People I talk to who are younger than I am (who grow more numerous all the time) do seem to act like they’re listening a little more than they did when I was, say, thirty.
Numbers 8, 9, 10, and 11 feel like things I’ve been working on since forever, and #10 probably describes my life better than any statement I’ve ever read.
Were I to make such a list, I think I would cheat and just list all of the years since 1960 and leave out the seven most sucky ones. I don’t really want to think about which years that would be, but 1991 would definitely be one.
I hope you have a good birthday, and please tell Alfie I said meow.
I LOVE that idea. Love it! Alfie says hi. Actually, he is just laying here lightly snoring. Randy I went out last night (which hardly EVER happens) and we were home kind of late. Alfie was not a fan of of our lateness. He spent the entire night by my head and part of Alfie’s activities last night included batting at my face and one time emitting toxic fumes just inches from my nose. I think I will nap off an on all day with him, but not quite so close to my face.
I hope to hear more about your birthday and that it’s amazing. Although I’m kind of sad you didn’t turn “chicken” into one of your fifty amazing things about being over fifty.
I mean fried chicken, of course. Or chicken soup. Or chicken tacos. Or chicken however you like it.
Sure, it’s not something you specifically have to be over fifty to enjoy, but you’re not just embracing your age. You’re embracing all the things that make your life good.
I love fried chicken. And I am embracing the good things. I hope I have a good birthday story and I’m really hoping we make it down to the mountains.
I’m not quite 50 yet, but for the most part, there’s a lot I enjoy about getting older.
I don’t feel as though I’m in competition with the world anymore. I just sort of do my thing, which might be part and parcel with your “Not caring what strangers think” one.
OMG yes..this one is so big.
Happy soon to be birthday..
Being over 50 is awesome
the best of the 50 –
“Never shopping in the feminine hygiene aisle ever again.”
Yeah, I appreciate that one every day.
One good thing about being over 50 is trying new things and not caring if you look stupid.
YES! I love that part!!!
Happy Birthday and Month!
Thank you!!!
Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your day.
Am not there yet, but 50 looms large. Hubby is 51, and for him it’s all about caring EVEN LESS what others may think- sometimes not so great in public, but hey, as a general mantra, works a treat!!
Love that you don’t have to do stuff you don’t wanna anymore- esp camping with work colleagues. WTF? Hell at any age I should imagine.
Am soooo looking forward to not having to shop for female hygiene items….
Yeah, it’s the best. Always not being on your period.
I should probably start my own list – but I am afraid it will take awhile. Not finding 61 things to be grateful for these days.
I totally cheated on mine.
Hey, Stranger…long time no read. Trying to get caught up. Saw this one and had to stop, because being over 50 is awesome!
My additions to the list:
-making no explanation for saying NO;
-really planning our retirement because it is in reach;
-not pussy-footing around people that piss me off; I have no problem telling anyone to simply fuck off…and I make no apologies for that;
-realizing it is okay that I am not built like a brick shit house anymore, and squishy curves are okay at my age;
-understanding that I have gone as far as I can go professionally without going getting a degree, knowing I don’t have to, and that I can sit back and enjoy the ride without busting my ass to be the best at everything. (Because, let’s face it; by the time I get around to getting that degree, it WILL be time to retire, LOL!)
Hope you have a terrific birthday!!!!
Hello! Good to see you! And these are some GREAT additions!!
We were on the phone with our mountain friends last night discussing my birthday festivities..it’s gonna be great.