So this happened.
A conversation one never expects to have.
Randy walked into the bedroom on a Wednesday evening. The weather is cold. We’ve been locked in forever. We’ve both had headaches and quite frankly, every one living in my house is getting on each other’s nerves.
Randy: Hey? Did I shave off my eyebrows?
Me: Why the fuck did you shave off your eyebrows?
Then, Randy just started talking about other stuff. We had a long conversation comparing music to baseball and it was a super fun conversation, but I really had to circle back.
Me: Okay, so really. Why are your eyebrows mostly gone, exactly?
Randy: I was just trimming the gray out.
Me: You are such a ding dong. You’re 60. Your eyebrows are mostly gray.
Me: And they are mostly gone.
Randy: Seriously, what difference does it make?
Me: It makes a difference. I’m not saying that you need eyebrows to have a good life, but you look freaky with no fucking eyebrows.
Me: So, we can agree that next time you want to groom anything on your face, I will take care of it?
Randy: I’m not agreeing to that.
Me: You lost your rights after the whole “your appendix had gangrene before you mentioned you felt poorly” thing.
Randy: Not the same
Me: It’s under the same umbrella. Sorry. I don’t make the rules.
Me: I totally make the rules. No more shaving off your eyebrows.
Randy: I’m shaving my head tomorrow.
Joey walked in because he heard the topic and had to see what was going on.
Joey: What the fuck, dad?
Joey: You’re just going to look more scary to other people when you go to the grocery.
Randy: Seriously, I thought if I wore my sunglasses and double masked, nobody would notice I shaved off my eyebrows.
Me: And this is why I drink.
We started listening to music and the whole eyebrow debacle came to a close. Other than Randy has almost no eyebrows.
Also, no way he’s shaving his head.
Anyway, I hope you all are doing good as we all dive into 2021! We’re doing great!