A night without internet started like this. Something happened that was pretty cool.
It stemmed from a mundane act, something that happens every evening.
We feed the cats wet food every evening around 5:00.
We have to feed them in separate rooms because Alfie is an asshole and chases Gertie away from her food. So, Alfie eats his dinner in the same spot every night and Gertie eats in whatever room she is in at the time, as long as it’s not the kitchen where Alfie eats.
Anyway, this evening, about an hour after the cats were fed, Joey joined Randy and I in our room to watch Youtube videos. Randy asked if Gertie had been fed and Joey said he didn’t know. I told them her food was up in Joey’s room.
At the exact same time, Randy and Joey both said “Oh, is it?”
You guys, they didn’t just say the same thing at the same time. They said precisely the same thing at the same time. The same inflection, the same little hiccup of a pause between the “Oh” and the “Is”. They sounded exactly the same, except the voices. The voices are quite different.
It occurred to me that if I heard them same the same phrase independently of each other, that it wouldn’t have been apparent how they sound literally exactly the same, if by “literally” we agree that voices don’t count.
I was fascinated to learn how much Joey and Randy truly sound alike.
Their laughs are not even close to the same. Randy hardly laughs out loud and Joey laughs a bit like a hyena. But even though they laugh completely different, they very often laugh at the same things. Honestly, I’d say less than half is actually funny, but I am neither Randy nor Joey. So.
After they spoke at the same time, they looked at each other and Randy might have made the smallest of chuckles and Joey cackled.
I told them “Randy, you should be amused and proud. And Joey, you should be concerned.”
Neither one of them laughed.
I really do worry about their sense of humor.
Okay, so now we’re going to switch to a different story. I have no segue.
Friday night, the unthinkable happened. A night without internet.
We were in the middle of Skyping with Mountain girl and The Bass player. The call ended absurdly early.
Randy, Joey and I sort of stared at each other for a bit. We came to the realization that we had no mode of entertainment.
No movies, no music, no social media. Nothing.
We haven’t watched DVDs in 10 years. We never even hooked up a DVD player in this house.
Joey and I decided, after a few rounds of drinks, we would scour the basement and garage for a DVD player and some DVDs.
We’ve been here two and half years and we still have half a basement worth of boxes to unpack. If I’m honest, some of them had never been unpacked from the previous move and we were in that house for 10 years.
We never found the DVD player, even though I’m reasonably sure we own at least a dozen of them. Or at least 2.
I did, however, after searching through dozens of boxes that were obviously packed by a crazy person, find a single DVD. It was a single DVD from a Futurama set.
Okay then. Futurama it is! We would huddle around the TV in the living room like the goddamn Ingalls and watch a handful of episodes of Futurama.
Only we never did find a DVD player, but Joey had a plan. The PlayStation. We’d play the DVD on his PlayStation that he hasn’t used in forever. We had to find double A batteries for the controller, but we prevailed.
So, it turns out you have to download something from the internet to play DVDs on the PlayStation.
And we couldn’t get it to play on the laptops.
We were forced to sit together and talk.
It wasn’t all bad, really. I told Joey an amusing anecdote about a time I babysat 5 little boys when I was 12 and how one of them ended up in a dryer. The awesome thing is, he didn’t roll his eyes and say “Yeah, I’ve heard that story a thousand times.” He actually laughed.
No worries, the kid in the dryer was fine. I mean, a little dizzy, but fine.
Edited to add: OMG, yes…we DO read books in this house. All the time. But it was late. We had some drinks. And I just found the situation absurd, so I wrote about it. Just heading off anymore comments about whether or not we read.