August is “Admit you’re happy” month.
See, right off the bat, it kind of annoys me. August is being pushy.
I’m envisioning sitting in a metal chair, a single suspended light bulb in a dank basement, with a Raider’s Of The Lost Ark bad guy yelling “Admit it! Admit you are happy!”
It’s not a bad idea, though, is it? I mean, if we’re happy, why wouldn’t we admit we were happy? I think we sometimes do hide our happiness. At least I do. I don’t know why. Clinging to darkness isn’t fun. Seeking out the shadows isn’t happy.
I have an uneasy alliance with happiness. Of course, I love happiness. I just don’t always 
trust happiness. I sometimes let cynicism hide my happiness. I also use cynicism to hide fear of the future and my uncertainty. Sometimes, I detach and can only watch my happiness, I can’t really feel it. I’m also a teeny bit afraid of letting go of my acerbic side. What if that is what gives me my edge? What if a cheery disposition would inhibit the number of words I write?
I do have a lot to be happy about. I always have a lot to be happy about. I know I give Randy a hard time in my blog posts, but I am grateful for him. I couldn’t ask for a better person to share my life with. I have healthy children and grandchildren. I’m writing more and more and finding that I do have a groove after all.
I am happy right now. Randy is re-watching Sons Of Anarchy and I’m writing. I’m kind of watching, but for some reason, the violence is bothering me this go around. Even my standby shows that I’ve watched a jillion times are bothering me and I find myself fast forwarding through the violence. Violence aside, it makes me happy to lay across my bed and write with Randy next to me.
Randy has been cooking outside a lot and that makes him happy, which makes me happy. I made strawberry shortcake and it was awesome. I am even happy that tomorrow is a work day. I am happy I have a job and that I can pay my bills.
I might mean that last bit. It also might be a case of “fake it until you make it” It could work. Shut up.
The last week of August is “Be nice to humankind” week. I can get behind that. I wish we could all live by that rule every week, but honestly, even one week would be an improvement.
How about it? I’ll admit when I’m happy this month. Who knows, maybe it will become a habit. I will also do my best to be extra nice to humankind the last week of the month.
But wait!
That’s not all. August is also “Peach month”. I have been celebrating peach month by buying peaches and letting them get squishy and wrinkly on my counter. They also attracted the marauding horde of fruit flies that are now our tiny, annoying overlords. So, I don’t know for sure if I’m celebrating “Peach month” right or not.
And today is “Bad Poetry Day” Yay for bad poetry!
This might not be Vogon bad, but it’s still pretty bad.
This poem is for all the asshole drivers who try to bypass the inevitable line of traffic trying to exit on to the 2-75 loop. They fuck up the flow of traffic in the lane next to the exit lane because they have to slow down in order to cut someone off.
Ways You Annoy Me
You annoy me to the depth and breadth and height
the middle finger of my left hand can extend.
You are being inconsiderate douche twizzles
And you add minutes to my morning commute
You annoy me and I say freely
fuck you, asshole! Fuck you by candle-light
My annoyance for you is pure
I hope all of you have twat monster bosses
and that you get ingrown toenails
Obviously, I was inspired by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I don’t think she’d mind. Do you?
Photo courtesy of Ryan McGuire
Michelle I so get this. What’s going on that being happy is something to feel weird about? It’s not that you give up caring about others who just lost their house in a flood or who are grieving. But it’s your moment and you’re happy in it! You go girl and peaches are awesome btw.
Yeah, I get that. I also just don’t always TRUST the feeling of happiness, like it’s lying to me. I just need to shift that feeling to depression because that is the liar.
Sorry, but that doesn’t count as bad poetry, because it’s awesome. This is how you do bad poetry:
I love you, I love you
From the heart of my bottom
If you want someone with crippling neuroses
And a host of unjustified insecurities
Baby, I got ’em.
I will respectfully disagree with you and proclaim your poem awesome as well. HAHAHAHAH. Perfect.
First, peach and strawberries always add to my own happiness. And as I tell my husband, I have been far more relaxed when I gave up having high expectations of other cAlifornia drivers. Because it got me nowhere. Except wanting to go home and eat bon bons for comfort. Instead of peaches and berries.
I am working on that so hard. I really am. I am better on some days more than others. I went a different route today that takes a little longer, but avoids that whole scene. It helps.
I threw all my peaches and other fruits & vegetables into my new fridge (that I’m probably killing because I love looking at the inside so much) because–fruitflies yuck.
This has been a horribly hot summer but there’s a certain beauty in that–now that it will be cooler. it will be!
I love your blog and think you and Randy should have a reality show for people with IQ’s in the three digits
Hahah..we would not translate well to TV. Well, and Randy would never in a million years ever do something like that. And no one has asked us to. We DO have IQs in the triple digit range, though. So we have that going for us.
Your poem was beautiful.
I believe I’m happy. I’m going to be, damn it, whether I like it or not.
Yes! I am also going to believe that as well. About me. Well, and you too. All of us. Well, other than the assholes I wrote a poem about.
FINE…them, too.
Oh man, underline every single word. And what’s up with feeling guilty about feeling happy.
Also, ingrown nails – ahahahah. Too cruel.
I feel it’s a befitting punishment. hahaha
I’ve always said that you should embrace and experience the happiness—without guilt—whenever it comes your way. You should also not sweat the small, truly insignificant shit that happens from day to day. Life is full of tiny annoyances, but if you overreact to each of them, you waste so much of your life in an agitated state. “Waste” is definitely the key word there. Life is going to hand us enough serious shit at some point in our lives, so why not be happy while we have what we love right there in front of us or beside us. Breathe it in, appreciate it, commit it to memory. Enjoy it.
You are awesome..and this is so true.
Terri Lee flicking glitter everywhere as Tink makes me happy.
Am I imagining Terri Lee sprinkling glitter everywhere in a Tinkerbell outfit with wings and a fairy wand?
Yes.
And it makes me happy.
I recognize the trust in happiness issue. I think my own came from not knowing how I suddenly, spontaneously would be joyous over really simple things and so quickly level off. I have a tendency to want to make everything good into a habit but that mindset wouldn’t come back with a simple mantra. At some point I realized I was cheating myself and took a more right here-right now view. With practice, I learned to stop trying to put happiness in my diet and just treat it like a butterfly you stop and enjoy. It will go and it will come back. I’m sorry I couldn’t come up w something better than a butterfly but you know what I mean.
NO! Don’t change a thing. The butterfly is PERFECT. Thank you!
Oops, forgot this like the last time.
“Sometimes, I detach and can only watch my happiness, I can’t really feel it” is an awesome line. Can I claim it for me too please.
Thank you! I wish that it weren’t true. It’s not ALWAYS true..but I very often disassociate myself from strong emotions, good or bad.
Oh wow, I have a special label on my blog for Bad Poetry. Haven’t written any in a while, won’t have time today but I’m delighted to find out that there’s a day.
I don’t know about this admit you’re happy month though. I come across as happy – my blog is all about boating, which is my happy place, but I also get angry and depressed and other such emotions in addition to happy. I was fighting with some friends once over a boat storage situation and one of them emailed me saying “We miss Happy Bonnie”, and that just made me want to cry or hit something or both – it felt so patronizing, “Get back in the box we think you should be in” kind of thing. “Admit you’re happy” month seems like that same brand of coercion. :\
Mostly there is a lot of happy in my life though! And peaches. Yes yes yes on the peaches. Although the fruit flies in my kitchen are there for the GIANT box of Sunsweet cherry tomatoes I picked last weekend and didn’t eat fast enough! 😀
Yeah..I am not a fan of people demanding my happiness. And FUCK people who tell me to “smile”. I will contort my face however I please and it’s not to please YOU. assholes.
As much as I enjoyed your poem, I think I might have enjoyed one about our fruit fly overlords even more. It’s just about time for me whet the traps out.
Hahah..thank you!
Good to know next week will be a very Happy Week. More reason to celebrate.
For the next 3-4 days it is supposed to be very hot here. I made a pie because for 3 days of the year the temperature reaches over 100 degrees seems like a reason to have peach pie. I made it before I even read your post!
I liked your poem. I would like one also about fruit flies!
Now I want pie.
I will have to do that. An ode to a fruit fly.
My friend Jack used to say “Am I really happy or am I just fooling myself that I’m happy, and what, exactly, is the difference?”
Admit you’re happy sort of reminds me of AYS, a punk band from the early eighties, whose name stood for “Admit you’re shit. And you suck. Also, you swallow.”
I kind of took up an “appreciate the good times while they’re happening” approach after I caught myself looking back at better times and wondering why I used to complain about them so much.
Our neighbor has a peach tree in their back yard, and about a third of it hangs over the fence into our yard, so we got four peaches that fell into the yard this year. Three of them were excellent, and the bugs got the other one.
I keep seeing butterflies back there that look like Monarchs, and I was thinking about planting some milkweed to attract them, but when I looked milkweed up online and saw what it looked like, I realized that we already have a bunch of it growing back there, so that made me happy.
So bad poetry has its own day? It sort of used to be every day for me, but I haven’t done any for a while. I think that is because I don’t write in a real, paper, journal any more. On the internet, you can’t really tear the page out, wad it up, and toss it in the garbage…
You are right! There is not nearly the same satisfaction in hitting the delete button. And awesome on the butterflies! We currently have flies all over our deck because of an unfortunate incident where someone (Randy) left a box with some meat scraps in it after grilling out. ew.
Vogon poetry has to make you want to die rather than listen to it. Your poem makes me happy that I share a planet with you.
I hope that doesn’t sound creepy. I’m now worried that sounds creepy.
Yeah, my theme song is Monty Python’s “I’m So Worried”.
Story of my life, really.
Hahaha..I kind of feel bad for you, because this is the second time this week I’ve had a guy tell me they were afraid it sounded creepy (it was a FB thing. He didn’t sound creepy, either). Anyway, no..not creepy. In fact, it makes me smile.
Fuck you by candlelight will be my sentence for
this coming week. It have such a friendly ring to it.
Thanks for sharing.
I did like that line. haha.
Michelle, just a quick note to say that I LOVE your great sense of humor! Your post just me laugh out loud. Peach month and “bad” poetry 🙂
Have a lovely weekend,
Kerstin
Thank you so much!
My first reaction yesterday to the title of this post was, “Pppbblltt. Now I can’t even read it!”
I feel a little more optimistic? No…. courageous? Maybe. Martyr-ish? Yes. That’s it. I’ll read it for Michelle’s sake then I can say, “If it makes her happy…. ”
Your poetry made me the happiest.
I’ve only seen two peaches this year and those were both being hand fed to a Macaw named Drago, so I guess that made me happy for Drago.
I wish every week was ‘Be kind to Humanity’ week. Makes happy easy.
Thank you, Michelle (slightly nasal whiney ‘have-to’ ) I OBVIOUSLY needed the reminder.
I think that made me happy, too.
YAY FOR HAPPY!
I don’t think dear Liz (I can call her that because I’m a writer too) would mind at all. She might blush at the comparison and insist that your poem is so much better than any of hers. And I’d have to agree.
HAHAHHAHA I love you.
Douche twizzles, LOL!
I often find myself not trusting the happy feelings because I know the Big Lying D is waiting around the corner. I’m doing my best to try and just enjoy them. I know when they leave they will eventually be back around.
YES! It’s like it is the space in between the shit storms. I have to stop looking at it that way.
I just hit some key and now all of my text is about 6. I’m fucking ecstatic.
It’s only on your blog. Weird. Anyways… I really am happy though I have an odd way of showing it. I have to fight against this mental illness everyday and night. I have to tell myself that some things just aren’t real. If they were real I’d be the guy with the baseball bat.Calmly into the cool, clear night my ass. Oh well. I am happy and I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it. My MIL just got out of the hospital in Toledo with congestive heart problems. I don’t know if they sent her home for another look around or what. I know they’ve plans. I hope they get to them. Right there, two reasons to be happy.
I have the size thing figured out. CTRL, Windows key and scroll wheel. Undocumented from what I saw.
Yes…we can usually find something to be happy about. I am sorry you struggle, that sucks, but it does make me happy to see you are finding things to be happy about. Hold on to that shit. 🙂
Yay for happiness, (my dark demon is now screaming in my ear). I so get this.
🙂
Also, my inner geek totally loves that you are referencing Douglas Adams.
Mmm Strawberry Cheesecake, e-mail me some please.
I wish I could email you some! And I love Douglas Adams so much. I am still bummed that he died so young.
Sons of Anarchy, productive writing, bad peaches, great poetry–this is one stop shopping. It makes me happy:-)