And Then I Decided A Nap Is A Good Idea


So, I had this weird, surreal night.

Randy and I had some drinks and listened to music Friday night. I fell asleep a little early and woke up at 1 am.

The first thing I noticed was that I was hot enough to catch on fire, but probably wouldn’t because the night sweats would have doused the flames.

It’s super fun being a post menopausal woman. I thought hot flashes stopped once you got through menopause. Apparently, that is not true and I’m slightly bitter about this.

The second thing I noticed is that Suzi Quatro had taken over my brain.

I haven’t heard the song Stumblin’ In for decades, but does that mean I don’t still know the words? Of course not. Is there a good goddamn reason that song would decide to lodge itself into my frontal lobe? Again, of course not.

I actually have no idea if song lyrics are stored in the frontal lobe. I guess I could look it up, but that would require an effort and we have already established that I’m tired. 

Anyway, I woke up, singing Suzi Quatro under my breath and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Our love is alive, and so it begins..

The filter thingy wasn’t attached to the faucet I have thus far successfully avoided learning how to attach it, therefore, it is never my job to hook it up. This actually worked against me in the middle of the night. I probably could have figured it out, but my head hurt and I’m not a plumber. There is no way I’m drinking unfiltered tap water, so I got a jar of tea out of the fridge, because when you have insomnia, downing a pint glass of a caffeinated beverage is a great idea.

Foolishly laying our hearts on the table and stumblin’ in…

Work stress was consistently high last week and my brain got caught up in a cycle of catastrophic thinking I couldn’t break for days. I hate that so much. I could handle either the mental shit or the physical pain I feel when my anxiety is that high, but both are exhausting.

It’s getting better, but it takes a while to lock that shit down. Just writing about it now is making my throat close up a little.

By 2 a.m., I was in a full blown cycle of work “what ifs”. No way I was getting back to sleep any time soon.

Our love is a flame, burning within…

Then my head went to the lottery. A few people from work went in on the Powerball since it’s over half a billion dollars. I calculated my share and then went through the list of people and charities I would give most of ours to. I mean, we’d still live a very nice life, but most of the fun would be giving it away.

Now and then the firelight will catch us stumblin’ in…

At 4:30 am, I decided to take a double dose of Xanax and try to get a little sleep. I was out by 5:00 am. But I had forgotten that Randy made plans to meet a friend for breakfast across the river at 8:00 am. So, he woke me up an hour before.

Wherever you go, whatever you do…

Me: Fucking hell.

Randy: What?

Me: I didn’t sleep for shit last night. I just took two xanax a few hours ago and Suzi Quatro won’t get out of my head.

Randy: The “your mama won’t like me” song?

Me: I wish. Stumblin’ In. 

Me, singing badly: You know these reckless thoughts of mine are following you
I’ve fallen for you, whatever you do


Randy: That’s just awful. That sucks.

Me: My singing or the fact that song is in my head?

Randy: Yes.

So, we get over to Bellevue, KY to meet up with Randy’s buddy and we’re looking for a place to park. We rounded a corner just in time to see a coffin being loaded up into a hearse from a garage.

Me: Well, that’s weird and cheery.

Randy: It’s just a hearse.

Me: Yeah, but it’s oddly out of place, you know? Like, seeing one at a funeral home or at a cemetery is one thing, but seeing a coffin in a nasty old garage is different. Sort of as if we’re seeing it out in the wild.


So, we parked and I was on the sidewalk waiting for Randy because he is incapable of just getting out of a parked car. He has to fiddle with a bunch of shit first.

The hearse that had just loaded up a coffin passed by me and just after it passed, I saw a family getting out of their car a block down. The dad holding a toddler tripped on a concrete planter on the sidewalk and fell.

Neither of them appeared to be injured, at least not the toddler. The dad twisted around to be between the ground and his kid, so that was good. And he got up easily.

To recap: I got almost no sleep. I took two xanax. I was mildly hungover. My anxiety has been in maximum overdrive. And then my heart was in my throat because I thought I was about to witness a child being injured and I just saw a coffin in the wild.

Cause, baby, you’ve shown me so many things that I never knew
Whatever it takes, baby, I’ll do it for you…

We had a lovely time in the coffee shop. Talking music and work shit with Randy’s buddy reset my brain a bit.

We left and drove to a park near our new house. We’ve been meaning to visit the park since we moved here 9 months ago. The air was nearly cold, but not quite. The views of downtown Cincinnati were breathtaking.Cincinnati skyline

We got home and I decided that a nap was in order. I don’t usually nap, because I rarely feel better afterwards and I have fucked up dreams. Then I decided that since my morning had been so weird that it would cancel out my weird dreams and I’d probably just dream about ordering bagels at a deli or something.

Anyway, goodnight. Wish me luck for a successful nap.

Also, I hated that Suzi Quatro song back in the seventies and I hate it even more now. This one isn’t bad, though. Okay, it’s not great, but I did like this one back in the day. And who doesn’t love Leather Tuscadero?




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  • A nap is never a bad idea! I took one yesterday after my rough Saturday night… I seem to have gotten food poisoning at my dear friend’s wake (I’m blaming the coleslaw – neither son nor husband had any & they’re both FINE). G would’ve gotten a good laugh outta this.
    And even though I napped later than what is generally my allowed time frame (I need to get my nap in before 5 PM or it will mess up that evening’s sleep cycle), I did pretty well last night w/only some minor thermoregulatory troubles. A dull headache remains this AM which I hope to vanquish w/my medicinal cup o’ coffee!

  • Oh it could be worse… partner, and on a somewhat regular basis, starts singing, “I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” In fucking July…or whenever I need some song in my head forever.

    I am not sure this is a great idea, but it will replace the other song. So, I decided to buy a hologram of a hippo that changes colours….from China (ok, never mind, you know that was a bad idea)…it never showed up (for Xmas, Valentines day….) and I am still waiting for my money back. So revenge is sweet only if it works….

    Listen to the song 😉

  • Song worms can be rough. For 4 days, today is the 4th day, I have in my mind a very old song that I don’t even know the singer, group or name of the song or really the words!

  • I too am pissed about the post-menopausal night drenchings. I ignite exactly 10 minutes after the arrival of a second person in my sleep space! My mom still gets them. We will not discuss mom’s age.

    Naps are glorious.

    And I tuned that song out so hard that I always thought the lyrics were “so will it end.”


  • It’s good that you had a nice time at the coffee shop and in the park, and such a great view, because it sounds like this was a real weekend of your brain being an asshole. It was definitely the frontal lobe too. In fact I remember reading somewhere that the frontal lobe is the most assholish of all lobes. And yet there were things, like the father who turned so he wouldn’t injure his toddler, that, while random and pretty much beyond your control, seem almost like the universe trying to reassure you.
    Or maybe it was another part of your brain looking for goodness–probably the backal lobe.

  • I had no idea that it was Suzi Quatro who sang that song. Isn’t she usually better than that?
    For about a year when we lived in the Foundry, I took a nap pretty much every afternoon, and I would listen to Neko Case’s “Fox Confessor Brings the Flood” on my ipod and just sort of hope I was awake for the really good parts, like the Ukrainian part of “Dirty Knife”…
    It didn’t work very often, usually I fell asleep with the opening chords of “Hold On Hold On” and woke up as “The Needle Has Landed” was fading out.
    I hope you’re feeling better soon. I find these days that I get cranky if you fuck with my sleep cycle.

  • Oh, how I love a nap. If I feel the need for one and cannot squeeze it in my day, I feel screwed. I admit I have never heard of that song and based on your reaction, I do not want to. AND I am not happy to hear about ongoing night sweats. At all. Hope you got caught up on your sleep.

  • Oh my goodness, thank you for that, I haven’t laughed so hard in a while, and thank you because now I am going to be humming that awful song all day. I just asked my granddaughter, “What’s that song you sing all the time (thinking of the dreaded Baby Shark…doot doot doot doot)?” She said, with a very serious face, “Happy Birthday.” yes, that annoying song. Anyway, I hear you on the hot flashes…thanks for sharing, you are too funny.


  • All I could think is what a good sport you are for dragging ass to the coffee shop and watching nightmares come alive on the way in without insisting on turning around and going back to bed.
    I sometimes wish I’d never gotten rid of my punching bag. When I can’t sleep, I’d love to beat the crap out of that bag.

  • OK, you jinxed me. I get in the car at 4:45 this morning and what is on the radio? Yes, “Stumblin In”. Now I am humming it. Oh, the humanity!

  • Did he thank you for not waking his ass up to put the filter on? Because at a certain point (sometime before you drank the tea but after you’d been driven half-mad by the damned song) you were fully within your rights to wake him up to put the filter on.

    Also, I’m with you on naps. I never got the hang of them, and don’t understand people who sing their praises. I just wake up sweaty, disoriented, and dehydrated. Then I must be convinced of the date and time (my phone and the first three people I meet are damned liars) and as a bonus, I won’t be able to fall asleep until ridiculously late that night, thus setting off a whole chain reaction. (They are a necessity during my haunt season, however, and the Sleep With Me podcast has been a real lifesaver for that reason… just a suggestion for your next insomniac night)

    • YES! That is exactly what naps do to me. I usually take one a year? No more than that…and I never feel good afterward. Thanks for the podcast recommendation. I’ve never listened to a single podcast but I’d like to start.

  • Mommy was the earliest of Early Birds AND suffered from Chronic Fatigue before there was ever a name for it, so I don’t remember a single day where she did NOT take a 20-minute nap at noon. I hated naps as a child, but I’m at the point in my life where if I can get one (anything under an hour is good, but honestly, 20 minutes is PERFECT), I’m taking it. I think my daytime cutoff for a nap is probably 2 or 3 p.m. so as to not affect that night’s sleep.
    Naps can be truly heavenly, but I think maybe they take practice? You HAVE to limit their duration, and probably time of day, for maximum efficacy.
    Have you regained your equilibrium yet? It’s Thursday already…

  • Omg, with the songs stuck in your head (or mine), what is that even about??

    I made the mistake of watching a popular French music video once like a year ago, and I actually *did* like it. But, not when it got stuck in my head for every waking moment for the next WEEK omg aaaaiiiiiiieeee. It played in the background of my mind for a WEEK, not even kidding.

    This may cause more earworms, but the only way I could get it to stop was to drown it out by internally screaming the lyrics “I’VE BEEN THROUGH THE DESERT ON A HORSE WITH NO NAME. IT FELT GOOD TO GET OUT OF THE RAIN” Over and over. It worked though…


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