Anxious Mothers of Adult Children

As an anxious mother of adult children, I don’t want to worry all the time.

I hate worrying. I loathe working through anxiety every day. It’s exhausting.

If I had known when my kids were actually kids, that I’d worry more about them as adults, well..then..it probably wouldn’t have made a difference. I am who I am.

Now that they are all adults, brand new worry categories are being created all the time.

I can barely keep up.

At the moment, I am living through one of my least favorite events to worry through.

Our baby boy went to Detroit this weekend for a music festival.

It would take me an hour to list all the specific things I worry about when he goes off on one of these jaunts with friends. And that doesn’t even include all the fucking COVID worries.

Joey is completely understanding of my anxiety and knows I’m probably going to check in. That, however, doesn’t mean he isn’t going to be a little asshole about it.

Friday evening texts:

Me: Hey sweetie, let me know when you get there.friday night text messages

Joey: We are being inducted into a gang right now.

Me: Cool! Hopefully that includes facial tattoos.

Joey: They cost extra.

Joey: Can I get 30 bucks?

Me: Venmo?

Joey: They only take MoneyGram

Me: Dammit.

Saturday mid morning texts:

Me: So, did you get that tattoo then?

Joey: I got two.

Me: Is one of them a heart with the word mom in the middle?

Joey: Yeah, the artist was dyslexic so it just says “moo”.

Me: That made me snort.

Sunday afternoon texts:

Me: If the artist was dyslexic, wouldn’t the tattoo still say mom?

Joey: Yes, I thought about that later.

Me: Moo is funnier.

Joey: Agreed. Suspended disbelief to make the joke work.

So, as of right now, Sunday afternoon, I believe he is safe. He gets back home tomorrow. I’m not going to text again. I’ll see him when he gets here.

I mean, for all that is holy, I’m not a helicopter mom or anything. Mostly.

Sort of?

In any case, this works for us. I get proof of life and he gets to hang shit on his mother. Not going to lie, I mostly look forward to these exchanges because he always makes me laugh. The little asshole.

 

 

30 Thoughts.

  1. I love your Joey! He sounds a lot like my 23 year old son Noah. I call him a little asshole probably more than I should. He does make my laugh, and shake my head at the same time.

  2. It was well worth the ache in my ribs (car accident 10 d ago; still bruised up from airbag deployment) to have my Big Boy (23) flip around on couch, wrap his arms around me & bury his head in my bosom yesterday… Ya never stop worrying about ‘em!

  3. My mom used her credit card to buy us tickets to see Frank Zappa in Santa Cruz when I was nineteen or twenty. I paid her back, but had no other way of getting those tickets, and she came through like gangbusters… Santa Cruz is like six hours south of Eureka depending on how fast you drive.

  4. Hilarious! Love that sense of humour – made me snort out loud as well!

    (and I get it – my kids are all grown and have been out of the house for years. My two youngest -30 & 31 – have lived 3000 miles away for 7 years. I never worry about them…until they come home to visit. I find myself tiptoeing across the hall at 3 a.m. to see that they are safely in their beds!)

  5. Well Michelle; this came at the right time for me as I had spent the night before tossing and turning because my eldest (who has some major sleep issues as well as some depression) had not been REACTING TO MY HUMOROUS GROUP TEXTS!!! PANIC ENSUES!!! All was well with him, of course. I try really hard to stave off panic when it comes to my 27 & 29 yr old sons, which is even more difficult since they live out of state. But, to me this comes with the Mom territory. I wish you well this season & thanks for making all of us “anxiety” (but not helicopter) moms feel better. xoxo

    • Yeah, my older son is 34, he lives out of state. He usually calls every day or at least every other to check in. I don’t call him because he has a high demand and stressful job, so I figure I will hear from him when I do. But if TWO days go by? Then I’m panicking.

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