I Never Had a Dad. I Had a Boogeyman.


Am I overstating? I mean, if we’re going to make comparisons, I’m sure as far as father’s go, there are some that make him look like a goddamn saint. However, as far as fathers go, mine sucks. For the first 5 or 6 years, he lured me into a world where I was a princess with my whole life ahead of me. I was adored. I was precious. I ruled a world where I was content and happy. My...

I Might Be A Deity. You Don’t Know


I mean, probably not, for sure. It is nearly impossible that I am a god. Which reminds me of my friend at work who retired recently. We sat in cubicles next to each other for 7 years. I love her. And she left me. I’m not coping with her retirement extremely well. But you know, I am happy for her. Mostly. But I digress. So, one day, after having solved a difficult programming issue, I stood...

I Don’t Want To Die On An Empty Stomach


I have a lot of “Last Time” anxiety. What will be the last song I hear? What will be the last voice I hear? What will be the last food I eat? That last one. Fuck. Seriously, if the last thing I drink and eat is gas station coffee and a stale donut, I am coming back and haunting everyone forever because I am going to be pissed the fuck off. Randy and I spend a lot of time watching food...


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