Me: Hey Randy, who is the dorkiest girl you can think of?
Randy: The dorkiest?
Randy: You mean a celebrity?
Me: Doesn’t have to be.
Randy: I don’t know.
Me: You have to pick somebody that’s not me.
Randy: That one chick that played the mermaid.
Me: Darryl Hannah?
Me: How is Darryl Hannah the dorkiest girl you can think of? She isn’t even dorky.
Randy: Well, you said to pick somebody.
I was trying to come up with this title and couldn’t decide the balance of the scale. I am rating myself between “Bad ass” and…what? I always welcome Randy’s input because he usually helps. Mostly, in ways I don’t expect.
Anyway, I saw a tweet that was a variation of saying “If you want to piss off your parents, then take me to your next family gathering. “There is a bravado and self congratulatory feel to these statements.
Look how edgy and bad ass I am.
Really, though, is rudeness a trait that denotes badassery? I don’t get it. I don’t see how that is bad ass?
If you are willing to be disruptive at a family gathering and it isn’t even your family then that makes you rude. And emotionally immature. Your mother would be mortified.
I am not the most emotionally mature human on the planet, but I would never be the person you can’t take to gatherings because I might act like an asshole and make everyone uncomfortable. Who does that? I am the person you want to take who does their best to make sure people are comfortable. Or I’m at least quiet. Probably trying to find a place to hide, but quiet.
Full disclosure: I am not claiming that I have never made anyone feel uncomfortable. It is impossible to be me and not occasionally cause moments of awkwardness with inane babbling or inappropriate humor. I never try to make a situation awkward. That doesn’t mean that it never happens.
You want the appearance of being a bad ass? Showing your ass isn’t the way to achieve bad ass status.
You know who is a bad ass?
The bad ass who finds her way to leaving an abusive relationship. The woman who suffers a devastating loss and still goes on. The women who marched on all 7 continents on January 21, 2017. Women who stand up to misogyny. Survivors of sexual assault who are able to leave their houses and hold jobs and raise kids. These women are bad asses.
Also, why try to piss off your parents, anyway? Work that shit out or move on. Playing stupid, emotional games is no way to go through life.
I am not sure why Darryl Hannah is the lower end of the bad ass scale.
I’m sure she has many bad ass traits. I’m feeling a little guilty about Darryl’s standing on the bad ass scale, but according to the conversation with Randy, he is the one who put her there, so it is clearly his fault.
Also, did I become a super old woman with this post? Am I taking an inane comment and turning it into a mountain? Am I bitter because I spent the entire weekend sick in bed and want to bitch about something? I suppose all those things could be true. But I still think I’m right. Trying to make yourself look bad ass by bragging about rude, inconsiderate behavior is lame.
Do any of you have a spare cane? I need a cane to wave around.