Man, if there was one outdated fashion trend from the eighties that I would revive, it would be the banana clip.
The banana clip was my friend.
Not all girls could wear the banana clip. Not casting aspersions, but facts are facts.
Facts like I don’t have a hat head. Not all girls had a banana clip head.
Which actually sounds like something you should put on your resume under strengths: “Doesn’t have a banana clip head”.
I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my hair for as long as I can remember. My hair is plentiful and fine(ish) with just enough wave to make it look messy. So, I’ve mostly just hated it. Except for the eighties, then I loved it. I had a curly perm for an entire decade. I had a curly perm that I dyed red. I loved Bernadette Peter’s hair and when I was young, I had people tell me I resembled her which made me happier than I ever would have admitted.
Because I am me, I have never been a fan of spending a lot of time getting ready in the morning. Although, back then, I probably took a minimum of 30 minutes to get ready, unlike the 120 seconds I take now.
The banana clip was perfect. I could gather up my curly mass and tame it with very little fuss. It’s awesome for people like me who have the manual dexterity of a drunken toddler. The banana clip was a life saver for those mornings when I just didn’t have the time to pick through my curly mass. I wore a lot of banana clips.
It occurs to me that if I had had the internet to distract me before work back in the eighties, I probably would have been fired from many jobs. I would have never made it to work on time. As it were, that was hit and miss for me anyway.
I made it through the eighties with a pick, Aqua Net, and banana clips in every color. Nothing was better than popping the collar on a neon pink polo shirt and having a matchy matchy banana clip and matchy matchy pumps.
Why banana clips?
I will tell you.
I was going through my nightly ritual of putting my almost dry hair in a sock bun. I do this so my hair will have just a little curl in it. That’s how I fix my hair every morning, I pull it out of a sock bun.
Anyway, I was thinking you know, this takes like five minutes to do. I’m tired of doing this. The whole hair thing should be easier. Like when I had a perm and banana clips.
Then I started thinking about cutting my hair off. Even though, every single time I cut my hair short, it looks horrible. Like, super bad. Except that one time when I was 19. It was adorable then, but never since.
So, that’s out. I’m going to just have to bite the bullet and keep my bare minimum hair car process in place. Maybe stop being a baby about it.
I wish banana clips were still a thing. I mean, I know you can still get them. I have come a long way toward not caring what other people think, but no way am I wearing a banana clip.
What fashion trend do you miss? You know there is at least one.
Oh, and wish me luck. I go to the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop Thursday. I’m going to be around hundreds and hundreds of people. There’s going to be hugging. I’m sure I will do fine. I expect to be a hugging expert by next Sunday.