So close. So very close.

I had no intention of posting this video on my blog. It didn’t even occur to me. But then when I finished, I thought I kind of had to.

I made the video for my friends at work because my friends at work have had to listen to me whine, bitch and cry over painting walls for 2 years now. Seriously, they’ve had to listen to way more than you guys have.

I was super excited because I finally finished a whole room. Everything.

I still have work to do in all the rooms, except our bedroom.

  • The bathroom needs new tile on the floor and the ceiling has to be repainted because it’s already spotty.
  • The kitchen, well, let’s not talk about the kitchen. At least the counter tops aren’t lethal anymore.
  • The living room is very nearly done, except the artwork is all wrong.

My bedroom though?

As of this weekend, my bedroom is finished.

Except I am me, so of course it isn’t finished.

So, here is the video I made for my friends at work:

You guys, I detailed that fucking room this weekend. I hand cleaned the floors and baseboards. I de-fuzzed the ceiling fan and cleaned out every groove of the box fan. Randy and I finished hanging the artwork and re-attached the curtain rod over the bed. It was mostly attached, but the middle bracket had fallen out, so they were saggy.

In all that time, did I notice even once that the goddamn doors hadn’t been painted yet?

How many times did my eyes just slide over that blue tape?

I had this moment of total contentment. Sure, maybe I did have to go back to my cubicle on Monday, but my bedroom is finished.

Then, I made this video.

That moment when I realized? I was half a heartbeat from having a full on, foot-stamping full body freak out.

It’s all good.

My bedroom can continue to be mostly done for another day or two. This isn’t a race. Everything is fine.

Goddammit so much.


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  • And that. Is why we had the same color bedroom walls for years. There is always one more fucking thing.
    Looks great!!!!

  • Ok, the room is looking great! I try to maintain this rule of not swearing…you know….before 6 am or 7 am ….or sometime in the day that is seems reasonable to start drinking and then you can start swearing.

    I admit to swearing with you when the doors were spotted. I had to watch it again so I could swear with you in unison. That Sistah thing.

    I’m good to go for the rest of the day. Swearing is in at least 2nd gear.

    Thank you and hope your Monday is well, not the typical Monday. Thanks for making me laugh. And yes the cat did not make me swear. That made me laugh.

  • Thankyouthankyouthankyou <3
    Your world-wide salute to humanity has not gone unappreciated.
    Your ceiling is to die for…
    I might have to put that 'mother-fucker goddammit' as my ringtone <3

  • As the video started I was thinking how that room could be featured in one of those fancy oversized “Our Home Makes Yours Look Like A Shit Covered Pile Of Sticks” magazines you see in the checkout at the grocery store. And then I saw the “FUCK” pillows and I thought, oh, this would be the perfect room to go in one of those magazines, and then I saw Gertie licking her butthole, and I thought, oh, this just keeps getting better and better. There needs to be a big spread of Gertie’s spread in all those magazines.
    Even with the blue tape. They can Photoshop that out.

    • HAHAH! Well, I did put a lot of work in that room, but I don’t think it’s magazine ready. Gertie is,though, even when she’s flashing her butthole.

  • That was hilarious! I hate painting so much that I absolutely refuse. We just moved into our new apartment in January. Hubby picked it out when I was unable to get out with my broken leg. We’re moving as soon as the lease is up. I hate this place so much!!!!!!!!

  • I love your “Story People” prints! At this point, I’d just quietly peel the blue tape off and walk away. Done!

    We have a similar painting project that my husband is doing. It involves removing every layer of paint from the beginning of time (in this case, the Universe began in 1947), and using a respirator, because we’re pretty sure there is at least one layer with lead in it. He got one room finished before the rainy season started, so we have to wait (windows need to be open to vent fumes too). It does get old, but it feels so good when it’s done. And just were DID you get the “Fuck” pillow?

  • Your room is gorgeous and Gertie is adorable. The “Fuck” pillow adds to the decor, and I wouldn’t have noticed the doors if you hadn’t pointed them out.
    What kind of guitar is that?

  • Oh bother! I agree – it looks done, just peel off the tape and walk away. My favorite bit was Gertie licking her butt hole. Hilarious!

  • My heart dropped when you noticed the doors. I was smiling along with you as you reviewed your hard work, and then tragedy struck. The Hindenburg of home improvement.
    Nothing is ever fucking finished. Nothing.

  • LOL! I was enjoying your beautiful bedroom tour, with the FUCK throw pillows and the lovely cat cleaning her arsehole, and I was really – REALLY – lost when you did your double-take. Like, I honestly thought you were just trying to move yourself away from your own reflection so you could capture the whole room as if you weren’t in it. I didn’t notice the tape until you pointed it out.
    I’m sorry you’re not finished. Any chance you can get one of the menfolk to roll the doors, just this once? So you can Officially Be Finished With One Room?
    I’ve never painted a ceiling anything other than “popcorn”, and now I want sky blue ceilings! … too bad I live in an apartment. Oh, well. And, uh… FUCK!

    • I LOVE the blue ceilings. That was Randy’s call. The light coming in behind the curtains is always so interesting.

      And yes, I suppose someone else could roll…but I’m kind of a control freak with the painting. Maybe a little.


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