This post is sponsored by Blue Apron.
So I got to try one of those food delivery services and, I have to say, having most of the prep work done makes it so much easier to channel your inner Rachel Ray. Only I didn’t get the hang of saying “Yummo”. I just can’t. Randy says it all the time though because he’s kind of dweeby.
We received the Blue Apron 2 person plan. There is also a family plan available.
Before we start, let me just say that having grown up kitchen tools can only work to your advantage. For instance, we have many skillets, but only one is “the good skillet”. All the other skillets are impossible to use. Whatever gets cooked in them, fuses with the skillet, and requires enough scrubbing to tear a rotator cuff.
Fortunately, I do have adequate cookware to prepare the food I received from Blue Apron.
The package came in a box with dry ice, wrapped in this aluminum bag that looked spacey and made me think of David Bowie. I decided, what better way to honor his memory than to listen to his music while cooking food that was brought right to my door and required very little effort to prepare? Then, I thought that sponsors might not want me to reference a recently deceased and beloved musician while peddling their wares. But, I did warn them that my style isn’t typical for product reviews, so David Bowie is staying.
I received 3 meals consisting of kale and goat cheese quiche, steak and mole tacos with avocado and radishes, and spicy orange chicken wings with shiitake-sesame rice. Randy pronounces quiche like it rhymes with “squishy” and refuses to stop. Yet he lives.
I decided to show you guys the chicken wings.
I love that the spices and sauces come in a knick knack bag. I have no idea why I am amused by this, but I am.
Having all the ingredients measured out and in one place eliminates most of what I dislike about cooking. I am an instant gratification kind of girl. I like the fun parts. Cooking is fun, finding the spices in the cupboard and measuring shit out is not.
My cutting board makes me happy.
Remember how your mom always told you to not play with your food? I never paid attention when my mother told me that. Also, this picture actually kind of looks like Randy that time he dyed his hair blond.
I got to use something called sambal oelek for the glaze. I have no idea what goes into sambal oelek, but it’s spicy and amazing.
I kind of felt like a bad ass making this dish. Pretty sure I am a foodie now. The garlic and onion sauteing in sesame oil smelled amazing. I would wear that scent as perfume. I can still smell it in my kitchen and am feeling rather smug at how grown up my house smells.
I was a little worried about the rice. I’ve been scarred by rice. I mean, not literally scarred, but mentally scarred. Or annoyed. At least annoyed by rice. I haven’t had much success, but this rice turned out just fine. Delicious, even. The chicken wings were sweet and spicy and even though this was supposed to be a meal for two, there was enough for all three of us. Joey didn’t even complain, which is amazing because the kid is picky.
What did I take away from the experience? I loved it. It felt good to cook something that didn’t involve cream of something soup.
Another thing that I love is that nothing is wasted. I am appalled at the amount of wasted food I throw out every week. This is perfect in that we used everything and all the food was eaten.
Would I permanently subscribe to this service? Probably not. Not because I wouldn’t want to, but because I can’t justify the added cost. This service costs less than eating out, but eating out is something we don’t do often. The ingredients are wonderful, the convenience is amazing, and I felt kind of smug about making healthy, tasty food without spending a shit ton of time on the prep work. Also, no shopping. No shopping is worth the price of admission.
Would I try it for a few weeks or a month? Absolutely. One advantage is that sooner or later, your going to get something in your knick knack bag that you’ve always been curious about. For instance, say you want to try a new recipe that calls for tahini, but you don’t really want to spend the money to buy a whole jar of tahini. Because what if you buy a whole jar of tahini and you find out tahini tastes like you licked Satan’s armpits? Blue Apron gives you a chance to try new flavors without committing to a whole jar of something. One more thought. People who live outside of metro areas would be hard pressed to find many of the ingredients at their local grocery. This service brings a world of flavor to your doorstep.
Blue Apron makes trying their service out easy. You don’t have to commit to anything and can cancel any time.
Here’s a link if you would like to check out their recipes.
Little advice, go ahead and throw those jars filled with Satan’s armpit juice away. You don’t have to be taunted by them every time you open your kitchen cabinets.
First 20 readers will get two free meals on their first Blue Apron order! Just click this link.
Oh, and I am so proud of myself. I wrote a sponsored post and got through the whole thing without saying “fuck” even once.
love your honesty and review and i definitely needed a laugh this morning! xo
I’m not going to do sponsored posts and NOT be honest. I really did like the service. I’m glad it made you laugh! 🙂
Woohooo – so proud of your ‘no profanity’ post although I little disappointed as it adds to the flavour !!!!!!
Do you think they would deliver to Gold Coast, Australia ? Right now my anxiety levels are at an all time high and trying to think of something to cook for dinner is just beyond me. Consequently, seeing as A is working away from home again, I have resorted to hot x buns and Nutella toast for dinner or even packets of M&M’s or chocolate biscuits which is probably not helping as I have a sneaky suspicion that my anxiety levels are rising in line with my increased sugar intake but I can’t seem to get the sugar beast under control so the anxiety levels go up a notch – vicious circle are two words that come to mind !!!
Have a wonderful day – busy watching super bowl now even though I know the result !!!
xox
I have no idea if they deliver to the other side of the world!
Yeah, there was some sort of sporting event yesterday, wasn’t there? haha
We are doing the Blue Apron thing too. I’m around a month into it. Bre did the wingy meal last night. I am so impressed by this service. It has raised my cooking abilities exponentially. I now Fucking love to cook! It also solves the dreaded “What’s for dinner?” question. Major props on the official sponsor. Next time we get together maybe I can whip up some gourmet shit for you!
That is so cool! Did you like the other ones? And it’s been far too long, we’ll have to plan a visit soon.
“I am an instant gratification kind of girl. I like the fun parts.” That’s me to a T. I don’t like spending hours cooking something that gets eaten in 10 minutes.
The post is very you. And yet I am compelled to check out their website. They can’t ask any more of you than that.
Thank you so much! I didn’t want to do any sponsored posts and NOT be the way I always am. 🙂
Congratulations on writing a sponsored post that made me laugh out loud! And be hungry but not for Satan’s Armpits Juice.
Thank you!!!
I’ve actually been meaning to try this. Thanks for the review.
I really did like it. I’ll probably do it again sometime.
Go YOU!!
I’m going to read this to Hubs when he gets up. I like the expression on his face when he hears Angels singing.
BRB… he’ll see those winged creatures if I have the first order receipt.
HAHAHHA! You are awesome.
OK, you guys. They signed me up.
I would have been back faster, cuz – IT’S WAY EASY!!
(but I got stuck on Google Earth. When they took the picture of my home, they got two of my horses that are no longer with me. Got my own Angels this morning. Thanks Rage-M 🙂 )
This Blue Apron gig is gonna be like the ‘gift that keeps giving!!’
(Wonder if they need a ‘Blue Apron’ cover band for their TV spots after you propel them to the Fortune 500 status…. be sure and mention the Psychotic Douche Twizzles… 🙂 )
Nice piece, Michelle! I’m HAPPY for YOU!!!
Oh, I am so excited for you! Please let me know what you think of it! I loved it.
I will 🙂
Or I’ll make Tim do a guest post like Randy… 🙂
I’m using it for Valentine’s Day…
I would say it’s going to get me out of the ‘Traditional’ 20-year marriage Valentine gift, but we’re in the spotlight so I won’t …
Mwah-hah-ha
*evil laugh*
*delighted hand rubbing*
Very cool opportunity. I think you summed up the special thing that Blue Apron offers and that is a taste of different ingredients.
Exactly, I even learned that I CAN eat kale and not want to puke!
Very nice review! This is my first time hearing about Blue Apron. Might give them a peek. Thanks!
Thank you so much! Once we’re empty nesters (soon) and we downsize everything, I would definitely consider this as a permanent thing.
If it helps at all you had me sold at David Bowie. Yes, the pain of having lost him so recently is still raw but his music still makes everything better. And you had me sold again at knick knack bags because I would probably save those for something else even though I hoard far too much of that kind of shit. Seriously, I need to let those restaurant chopsticks go because I’m never gonna use ’em.
And you had me sold a third time on getting little sample sizes of things like tahini to try. I’ll try anything but I’m hesitant to invest in a big jar of something. I’m all about trial sizes.
Also I hoard far too much of that kind of shit. Seriously, I either need to come up with a lot more recipes for tahini or just throw that jar out.
Hey Christopher 🙂 From one hoarder to another… as soon as you throw out that jar of tahini, somebody will start a website devoted to tahini and you’ll be fresh out of tahini.
Just sayin.’
Don’t throw out that tahini…
:):)
Just let it go, man…let it go.
Yeah, I’m still pretty raw over Bowie leaving us too soon. 🙁
Hell, just listening to Changes has comforted me at times lately.
Random thought: Does it seem strange that Satan’s body parts all have different flavors? HAHA!!! (Now that I think about it, I’m out of raspberry Satan’s butt paste! Must buy more!) 😀
Well, in my world…Satan tasting food does play a big part.
You mean “quiche” ISN’T pronounced like “squishy”? 😀
I loved this post! I was very intrigued by this service, since I hate cooking for just myself all the time. I end up with way too much left over and I throw out so much food. And yes, every fucking day it’s—“so, what do I make for myself tonight?” Ugh. But, as you stated, I don’t think I could justify the added cost, at least not until I have more of an idea how things are going to go for me financially. I’d still have to get all my other food at the grocery store, too. Which leads to my question: do the chicken wings come with it, too? Or do you have to buy those and the other meats/fish yourself? I also happen to have the palate of an eight year old–I don’t eat mushrooms, eggplant, okra, the middle parts of bananas—anything rubbery or slimy textured in any way, gets picked out or rebuffed altogether! But Apron needs to come up with the “Immature Adult” plan. Sign me UP!!! Haha!
Does anybody have a service that will pick me up a gallon of milk or carton of eggs when I don’t feel like getting dressed to go pick them up myself? It’s freaking cold down here again! 🙂 More sponsored posts, Michelle!!! You promote everything in such a totally honest, down to earth way, that I’d trust your opinion if I was going to buy a product or service. I adore you, lady!! XO
*blowing kisses to Lisa K., too*
*I would never leave you out, Lisa!! XO*
It DOES include the chicken wings. It included everything other than salt, pepper and olive oil.
Oh, now THAT is very cool! It’s great that you don’t have to shop for the meats either.
And I meant to type “Blue Apron”, not “But Apron”—it’s cold, it’s morning and my hands and fingers are stiff.
hahahah..I didn’t even notice that
Good Morning Sunshine!!
I was being quiet so you could sleep in 🙂
*catches kisses*
I like how you and Randy say ‘kwishy’… I’ll bet you say jalapeno with the ‘j’ too 🙂
(ge-LAP-a-no)
*hands Terri Lee some raspberry flavored Satan’s butt paste*
I figured you’d need this :):) What with it being freezing in Florida and all :):)
*MMmwwaah* (that’s supposed to be the sound of kisses being thrown 🙂 )
I knew those were the sounds of your kisses, Lisa! I could pick them out anywhere! 😀 And thank you so much for the raspberry butt paste! MwwwAAAHH, right back atcha!
*giving the squiggly red lines a workout today*
*you should hear me say gazpacho* HAHA!
Now that was one very honest and funny review. I’m with you on the skillet predicament (why do we continue to let those loser-skillets live in our kitchens??). Like you said, getting to try new ingredients without getting stuck with jars and packets of stuff you don’t care for is a real bonus. If you factor in the money lost on those let-down purchases, add that to what gets tossed out cuz it was left in the fridge too long (laziness is a bitch, ain’t it?), then the service doesn’t seem so expensive. My problem is that I find a recipe that seems great but I can’t afford all the extra ingredients. Plus my kitchen is the size of a coat closet, so where do I put that shit? Gotta toss out those fkn skillets and make some space! Love Randy’s pronunciation of quiche. Our rock station morning host calls hors d’oeuvres “horsey doovers” (on parle pas très bien, tabarnak!) Btw Randy, it sounds closer to “kish” with a short i sound, so you weren’t far off. It’s not “keesh” which you often hear. M, I look forward to more of your reviews! Tell it like it is, baby.
Thank you so much! And I am totally going to dump my defective skillets. I think. I am nearly sure about that.
This sounds like something right down my alley since I am on about the same maturity level that you are haha! I am not good with adult cooking, but this would make it possible maybe even fun! I will have to check it out!
It really was fun!
It would make dinners easy that’s for sure. We enjoy cooking, but you are right…going and getting all the stuff and then doing all the measuring and prep work isn’t that much fun. Not to mention how time consuming it is. Like you, though we could not afford such a service regularly. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
Thank you! I’m thinking once it’s just me and Randy that I might revisit this service.
We signed up for Blue Apron about a month ago – just when our last child flew the coop. I come from a long line of excellent southern cooks but I LOVE not having to figure out what is for dinner and shopping. I think it saves us money because I don’t have to go to the store every other day so there is no impulse buying.
What I would like to see:
1) Instructions that are not in paragraph form – I lose my place – give me step 1, step 2, 3
2) A wider variety of choices – maybe some “not so exotic” possibilities? We are adventurous – but every night of the week?
3) Recipes that take less prep bowls, pots and pans. Seems like I make more of a mess with Blue Apron than no apron.
We’ll keep it for a while, that’s for sure. It is interesting and I love getting the Monday box on more doorstep. The food is more than enough for two and so far there have only been a couple of dinners that we could have done without – it is cool to use spices and food that your grandma wouldn’t have known what to do with!
We made it a team effort. Randy read the directions to me because A) I didn’t have my readers and couldn’t see the print. and B) I ALWAYS lose my place.
I am glad it’s working out for you!
Team effort at my house is me cooking him eating.
I hadn’t heard of Blue Apron until your post about them, but my last job was at a place called Bay Area Organic Express (now SPUD) that seems quite similar: organic produce and groceries delivered to your door with meal plans and taking advantage of which produce is in season. It was fun, mostly, and I am considering signing up for it (or a similar service, say Blue Apron) as soon as I have a fucking kitchen again…
Yeah dude…you REALLy need a kitchen…
Everytime I read one of your posts, I want to comment. Because you’re such a clever writer. Not to mention funny. (And probably only write in full sentences).
HOWEVER, you have so many commenters that, I dunno, frankly it turns me off. I can’t read through them all. And then I forget what I wanted to say. And then I think–hell, she doesn’t need me to comment. It would probably end up being sloppy seconds anyway.
So, know that I’m reading and chortling and not commenting.
I LOVE all my comments and I read each one! I really do! I’m glad you are here, either way. 🙂
I very often write in sentence fragments..but Randy usually catches them for me. haha.
Very tempting. I’d probably try it if I could just do two meals a week for $40 instead of 3 for $60. Sounds like fun!
It was fun. And the clean up was easy. I can see me doing this when the last kid flies the coop.
How fun!
Your chicken wings look delish! The before pic I mean. The after is a little too cave man for my taste.
I am currently hooked on ‘of the month’ clubs and have always wanted to give Blue Apron a try – for the convenience of having a quick pre-prepped dinner available when I get home from work.
Will use your link when I decide to sign up!
Awesome! Please let me know what you think of it.
I think I still have that jar of Tahini I opened years ago, somewhere in the bowels of the fridge…
Great product review
Thank you so much! Yeah, I have a few bottles of stuff like that. I’m going to take my own advice and throw them out.
Such a fun post Michelle! You made me laugh out loud.
Oh thank you! That makes me happy!
Me too, Jane Gassner!
Do Blue Apron send you a blue apron as well? Knick knack bags are good but I’d want an apron to feel proper chef-y. And throw out the killer skillets, your rotator cuffs will thank you. It’s the first step in downsizing, and you can do it now without offending Joey that you’re hinting he get a move on.
I SHOULD throw those out. I think I will. And no..sadly, blue aprons are not included.
Michelle,
You did it! I read the whole thing and loved it. Congrats.
Thank you! It was a lot more work than my normal posts, but it was fun. 🙂
Great (honest and funny…as if I’d expect anything else) review. We’ve been using Blue Apron for a while now (not quite a year, but more than six months) and I’ve actually gone back and re-made some of the recipes that we especially liked. I was looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
I have remade one of the recipes and changed it up a little so Randy would eat it and it is a hit! I really do like the service. Once it’s just the two of us, I will consider it again.