Bring on 2022. I guess.

I’m not getting excited for a new year. Bring on 2022. I guess

Lucy Van Pelt can only fool me so many goddamn times. I’m not Charlie Brown.

I am, however, Charlie Brown’s first cousin who is easily fooled over and over.

Full disclaimer: I have no cousins named Charlie Brown. But when I was a kid, there was this amusement park ride that I would ride with my dad that darted in and out and came close to other cars. You know the one, I just suck at descriptions. Anyway, when we would be at the point where it seemed we would crash into another car, we would yell “Watch out Charlie Brown”. Also, when Randy was a kid and played baseball, his mom would come to the games and yell “Hit a homer, Charlie Brown”. So it’s kind of like Randy and I are both related to Charlie Brown. Also, I am very tired. The holidays are exhausting, yo. 

Don’t misunderstand me.

This is not me giving up.This is me, extending both arms as far as I can and extending my middle fingers.

This is me saying that I get to decide that I get to find joy. This is me accepting outrage is always around the corner and outrage can suck my dick. This is me deciding that I am goddamn thrilled to be alive. It is glorious to exist.

I think if that if we make that a yoga move, it should be called the “go fuck yourself” pose. 

It’s been a while since I’ve been excited for Christmas. I guess having a failed game show host as president and a plague puts a damper on things.

I was excited this year though. We spent Christmas evening with my family. It may be that was our last gathering for a while. You know, omicron and all.

Anyway, it couldn’t have been more pleasant. We ate good food, played games and exchanged gifts.

My gorgeous daughter in law gave me this. I love her like frozen crazy.

dish towel gift

You guys, I pulled something off this Christmas that I have never done before.

I surprised Randy.

We’ve shared 27 Christmases and this is the first time I surprised him.

I got him a gift and successfully kept it a complete secret. For months. I feel like I need an award for this or something.

I told you guys a few months ago that a Twitter friend gifted Randy with a guitar. There are two guitars that Randy has always wanted. He got the Telecaster a few months ago.

I got him a turquoise Epiphone Wildkat semi-hollow body.

guitar

I have no idea what any of those words mean, other that I understand turquoise as both a color and a rock and I also really want to pronounce “Epiphone” as “epiphany”. Also, I of course, get that it’s a guitar. It’s very pretty. I just don’t play any instruments or have any musical talent, so I had to guess.

I guessed right.

This secret fucking killed me. I can’t tell you how many times I just wanted to tell him what was under my mother’s bed.

I had it shipped to my mom’s house because he would have figured out what was in a guitar sized box under our tree. 

On Christmas eve, when I was jumping out of my skin because I only had one more sleep to go, Randy was telling me about this site called “Reverb” where musicians sell equipment.

I was aware of that site. Because that is where I bought his guitar.

I’m not going to lie, that was kind of cruel on the part of the universe to put me through that.

I had to respond with a semi-interested “uh huh” rather than “OMFG I KNOW because I shop there”.

Also, we usually celebrate with my parents and sisters and assorted spawn and spouses on Christmas eve. That got changed to Christmas day. I had a day of waiting tacked on and I also had to get a decoy gift.

So, in addition to a guitar, Randy got a pair of cashmere gloves.

Here’s to hoping he doesn’t lose them.

Here’s to deciding that 2022 will be what we make it.

We don’t get to control much, but we can still be happy. We still get joy.

I’m not looking for bright shiny horizons or baby angels riding on unicorns. I’m just saying, let’s kick 2022 in the ass.

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16 comments

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  • 2022 needs to be kicked in the ass at 12:01 am January 1 because it’s about time we showed those New Years who is boss! Here’s hoping Omicron is COVID’s parting gift to humanity before it decides it has better things to do. (Seriously, I doubt it, though.)

  • I saw the most awful meme the other day that said that 2022 was just pronounced 2020, two (as in, again). Please no. I’m done and so is everyone else on the planet.

    The holidays are usually worth it in the long run because we have to remember underneath it all, we love each other. Despite the fact that I might want to slug a family member now and then.

    I’m so glad that you enjoyed family and that you finally got Randy a complete surprise. You’re also lucky he didn’t buy a similar guitar by himself, therefore surprising you!

    We’ve still got New Year to get through!

  • Kudo’s to you for keeping that gift a surprise! My husbands Birthday is today and I always have him open his present on Christmas. I actually didn’t this year so he has something to open tonight. Yay! I’m glad you had a nice Christmas. Bring on 2022, I’m vaccinated, boostered, and even got a flu shot for the first time. Happy New Year Michelle!

  • Epiphones are usually seen as being like Gibsons but not as pricey. This is not always true, my guitar is a Gibson Les Paul, and it’s a fucking cheapo. I love it.
    I don’t do new years resolutions, but last year one of the bloggers I read was asking their readers for their resolutions and I half heartedly lied that I resolved to start playing my damn guitar again. I felt that it was a lie at the time because the last time I regularly played my guitar before then was 2010.
    Then, on the seventh of November, Zsuzs brought my Les Paul down here from upstairs where it has been stored since we moved here to get it safely out of the way of some pre-storm roof construction she was doing. This is a small room and I was trying to figure out where I was going to put it, when I hobbled over to the case and opened it up. The cat took one look at it and scrambled under the bed. Don’t worry, I told him, I don’t have any amplifiers here. Then I noticed the trap I had set for myself when I last put it away: a blue cable with one 90 degree end (Les Pauls have their cable jack on the bottom edge and you can’t sit down and play one with a cable that has a straight end on it) and a Zoom stomp box with a headphone jack on it.
    Michelle, I have played that bastard every night since then. I accidentally made good on my insincere new year’s resolution. It’s been ten years since I played much, so I really do suck, but less so with each passing day, and god damn it, that’s a good and hopeful thing to have happened in this gawdawful year.
    Congratulations on pulling off the surprise. I’m not much good at kicking things, being disabled and all, but I fully intend to make an exception to that with the year 2022. Perhaps it can be a resolution or some shit…

  • Randy got an Epiphany (funny spelling – I agree 😉 ) guitar???? You kept that a SECRET?????
    Wow! What meds did you have to take – I really need to talk my doc into that prescription <3
    Happy New Year Luvs!! You kicked the fuck outta last year <3
    *cheers*

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