Brood X or Florida Congressperson?

  1. I waited 17 years for this opportunity.
  2. I have a face that says “Swat me. For the love of God, swat my face”.
  3. I make a lot of noise because I want sex. All the noise I make is for sex.
  4. I can’t help it if my eyes are weird, off-putting, and look like a special effect.
  5. Click click click click click.
  6. Never trust the wingman.
  7. Screech screech screech.
  8. I’m emerging from my nymph stage and will soon be a winged adult.
  9. Mostly, I gross people out.
  10. It doesn’t matter if you love me or hate me. I’m always in your face. Always.
  11. I might look weak and odd, but I can buzz louder than a chainsaw.
  12. I am inevitable.
  13. Just stand still and let me crawl all over you.
  14. We all have a clock, don’t we? Tick tock. No worries, I’ll be out of your hair in a few weeks.
  15. Venmo? What’s Venmo?

Brood X: 5, 7

Florida Congressperson: 15

Both: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14


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By Michelle


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