I mean, I know I’m not stupid. But I don’t know why. Let me explain. At least I will try. And herein lies the fucking problem. I guess the easy answer is that I assume I am stupid because as a child, my narcissistic father told me I was stupid. A lot. Perhaps, it is that simple, but I don’t think so. I program computers and code in an old ass, not sexy language. Black screen...
I mean, it’s possible.
I have a vague plan in place. My plan is to retire in about 3 years, knowing full well we won’t be able to afford retirement.
A girl can dream.
As an anxious mother of adult children, I don’t want to worry all the time. I hate worrying. I loathe working through anxiety every day. It’s exhausting. If I had known when my kids were actually kids, that I’d worry more about them as adults, well..then..it probably wouldn’t have made a difference. I am who I am. Now that they are all adults, brand new worry categories...
