How about no.
You have to read that like Doctor Evil.
This is what I’m telling myself right this second, as I type this. No. Nope. We aren’t doing this today. Not today.
I’m trying very hard to ward off an anxiety shitstorm. All the elements are here. Bullshit happens. It just does. When unexpected stressful shit happens, all the other anxiety snaps to attention, commandeers my brain, and makes my nerve endings sizzle.
I don’t think it’s just me. It seems that right now, in this very specific point in time, it sucks especially hard to be an empath.
Of course, we’ve had our share of tragedy. For fuck’s sake, the absolute horror of what has happened over the past week is enough to drive anyone to their knees.
Horror aside, I’ve been absorbing feelings like an empath fiend. I’ve been at def con 4 on the anxiety scale. Every time the phone rings, I am certain tragedy waits on the other side. I’m creating scenarios that are more dark and far fetched than usual. I am positive every project at work will fail. So, you know, some general suckiness.
I’m hearing similar stories from other people. I hate that for them. I would love to say that it feels good to have a tribe who understands, but this is a lonely one. The force is strong with this go around.
We should name our anxiety like they name hurricanes. Except give them ridiculous names because anxiety sucks. I am going to call my current anxiety storm Muffy Thundercunt.
I love a goddamn Friday evening, but Muffy Thundercunt was messing it all up. I tried running (little old lady jog) and then having a few shots of tequila and that helped a little.
I’m going to abruptly switch gears here, so hold on for a second, I promise it will make sense very soon.
I love Queen. I love Freddy Mercury’s voice. I love their entire catalog. Very nearly.
I can’t stand Bohemian Rhapsody. I find it unlistenable. I mean, not Rush Limbaugh unlistenable, but pretty goddamn bad. I think it’s because I’ve heard it 33 kajillion times. For the record, I feel the same about Stairway To Heaven. I also plan to take credit for making up the word “unlistenable”.
Then Randy showed me this video. I never would have thought that Bohemian Rhapsody would improve my mood. You should watch it. I am not going to say that it killed Muffy Thundercunt, but it did put that bitch in her place. At least for the moment.
If you’re feeling bad right now and there is so much to feel bad about, just try to find something to smile over. Smiling is better. I found a very nice smile watching that video.
Muffy Thundercunt can suck my dick.
So, I don’t have any new links to other articles this week. But I do have a few memes that I created and posted on Rubber Shoes In Hell’s Facebook page.
What lies do you tell yourself?
Do you convince yourself that this time you really will lose that last 10 (or 40) pounds that you’ve been railing against for more years than you want to admit?
Do you say to yourself that tomorrow you will get everything on your to do list done? Or maybe at least one thing? Or maybe even decide that tomorrow you join the other grownups and make a to do list?
Do you tell yourself you are happy when you are not?