All posts in Family

  • It’s All Fun and Games

    Me: Why am I so hurt?

    Every other person sitting around the table:…

    Me:…

    Me:…

    Me: That’s the fucking Cards Against Humanity question, dumbasses. Why am I so hurt?

    Every other person sitting around the table: Ohhhh.

    Read more

    Share
  • When Is A Door Not A Door?

    When it’s ajar.

    That my friends, is what we call a Randy joke. Randy tells the worst jokes on the planet and the worse the joke, the harder he laughs.

    I do have a reason for telling that horrible Randy joke.

    Read more

    Share
  • Empty Nest Syndrome: It’s Not All Goats and Berries

    So, I mentioned we put Joey on a plane to go live on a farm in Washington near the Canadian border. My understanding is he would be spending a few months tending goats and picking berries.

    The original flight didn’t happen because a flight was delayed which caused the whole fragile ticket system to fall apart. We had to reschedule everything and I had to take him back to the airport the next morning before going to work.

    He made it across the country, just one day late.

    Randy’s college roommate picked him up at the airport and showed him around Seattle. After a busy day, Joey spent the night and, the next morning, Joey boarded a bus to the middle of nowhere.

    He made it 48 hours at the farm before becoming violently ill.

    Read more

    Share