CategoryHumor

I Might Be A Deity. You Don’t Know

I

I mean, probably not, for sure. It is nearly impossible that I am a god. Which reminds me of my friend at work who retired recently. We sat in cubicles next to each other for 7 years. I love her. And she left me. I’m not coping with her retirement extremely well. But you know, I am happy for her. Mostly. But I digress. So, one day, after having solved a difficult programming issue, I stood...

I Don’t Want To Die On An Empty Stomach

I

I have a lot of “Last Time” anxiety. What will be the last song I hear? What will be the last voice I hear? What will be the last food I eat? That last one. Fuck. Seriously, if the last thing I drink and eat is gas station coffee and a stale donut, I am coming back and haunting everyone forever because I am going to be pissed the fuck off. Randy and I spend a lot of time watching food...

It Took Six Decades

I

But I did it. Yes, it took six decades. I addressed an uncomfortable situation. I walked right into some shit and I fucking handled that shit. I did. I handled it. I stood up for myself. I even was slightly abrasive. I mean, in the end, I completely misread the situation, but that’s not the fucking story. I stood up for myself. After living most of my life almost never standing up for...

Michelle

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