Only 1158 Days Until Retirement

I mean, it’s possible.

I have a vague plan in place. My plan is to retire in about 3 years, knowing full well we won’t be able to afford retirement.

A girl can dream. 

I could beat myself for not planning better for the future.

I come from a long line of grasshoppers. We just don’t have any ants in our ancestry.

I could blame a long life of procrastination.

I live in the very molecules of procrastination. I can tell you tales that range from whimsical to cringe-y that were born due to my professional level procrastination. I am a demi-god of procrastination. I’d be a god of procrastination, but I never filled out the paperwork.

Either way, it doesn’t matter. We are where we are.

I’m finding that even having a sketchy plan has some benefits.

Work anxiety accounts for a pretty large percentage of my overall anxiety. It’s gotten better over the years. It still sucks. It’s like the difference between being roasted alive by a dragon or being eaten by honey badgers.

I have no idea why the dragon thing is worse. They both sound terrible.

Anyway.

My work anxiety has gotten mildly better. Now that I have an end in sight, even if it’s unrealistic, it feels sort of like a safety net.

Not a great safety net. I’m sure not one that would live up to OSHA standards. Or you know, anyone’s standards. But it’s still there.

Right now, it is Sunday afternoon. I normally feel a mild sense of doom on Sunday afternoons, but not lately. I have to go to work tomorrow. It will be fine.

Of course, anytime something stressful happens, the safety net catches on fire and is replaced by a pit of vipers, but you know, baby steps. Baby steps. Preferably not in the pit of vipers.

I told you all my sad tale of woe about my car last time.

Well, there’s been a turn of events and apparently, I might owe Tire Discounters an apology. Other than they left us hanging for two weeks. And when they said my car was safe to drive, they couldn’t have been more wrong.

Long story short, we are now making payments on a boat anchor. We’re still working through how we’re going to deal with getting the car repaired. All will be fine. But what a gigantic pain in the ass.

I’m not worried though, we’ll be okay. I have a fairly large box of loose change.

Next financial crisis and Coinstar is gonna be my wingman.

Last thing, and this is sort of for Doug.

So, Doug, we’ve talked about reaction videos over the past few years and I stumbled on one called The Perseverance. I watched quite a few of their videos, but Paradise By The Dashboard Light was my favorite.

 

Dragon photo courtesy of Samuel Sweet

 

 

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12 comments

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  • That song was hysterical! I’m so glad I’m long past the age of angst!

    Just FYI – Eastern cultures think Dragons are good luck – it’s only the West that are convinced they’re evil. I wonder what line was crossed centuries ago that made mythology so opposite in current times. And then I think of the Dems and the GOP and just sigh.

  • At least being roasted alive by a dragon would be faster than being eaten alive by honey badgers. And taking baby steps through a viper pit is better than trying to run through it. My experience with vipers is they’ll leave you alone if you move slowly. I’m not sure why I’m trying to find bright sides here but I hope it helps ease your anxiety a bit that there are times when procrastinating is better than rushing.
    And thanks to both you and Doug for the reaction recommendation.

  • Okay, I’ll check out that reaction channel. So. Here goes:
    My financial plan was “work until you drop dead” but I didn’t die all of the way when I dropped…
    So I have been living on SSDI ever since. It was fourteen years last week. It’s tricky, but so far it can be done. And the car thing? I just got off of the phone with the tow company where Briana’s car is impounded after the accident Thursday evening. They say that in order for anyone but Briana to pick up her belongings out of the car a form must be filled out and notarized, and that would mean a trip to the hospital in Fresno where she is and hello! No car… So she’ll have to wait until they discharge her to pick up her phone and purse and the cat food she bought in Oakland.
    She’s broken up a bit, but will be OK. They are talking about sending her to rehab for some physical therapy. PT. Pain and torture, as they called it when I was doing it, but god damn, they rolled me in on a gurney and two weeks later I walked out with a quad-cane.
    Dragons? Honey badgers? Try getting through to a tow yard on a weekend when you don’t even know exactly where the crash occurred. I have experience with impound lots, as my friend Rob works at a wrecking yard, I plan on letting them know that I expect all of her belongings to still be in the car when she gets there.
    Don’t trip too hard about retirement. You’ll do fine. The moment I realized back in 2008 that I wouldn’t be working for the foreseeable future was kinda stressful but honestly it was mostly a bigger feeling of relief than I’m comfortable admitting.

  • Retirement can be muddled thru. I had to take a forced early retirement to become The Man’s full time unpaid Caregiver and he got Medically Retired… we were still raising 2 Grandkids and I had to forfeit 60% of my Pension for being just 4 years away from fully vested. It all sucked, but we persevered and things work out. I don’t miss any of my Corporate Lives, not either of them. I had taken an early Retirement from being an AVP of a Bank due to personal reasons in Corporate Life No. 1… then went to work for our large D.A.’s Office in Corporate Life No. 2 until Hard Knocks Life dictated that early Retirement. I was an Ant, from a long lineage of Grasshoppers, I think my Parents thought I got switched at Birth. So, it was hard for me that all my meticulously made Planning and diligence got cocked up by Life, shit happens… lots of what I did for our Retirement Security went up in flames… we’re still here and pretty comfortable. We’re multigenerational living now, the whole crew moved back Home and having Adult Grandkids is kinda a Bonus at Home I didn’t expect. Of coarse, Seniors sharing Space with Teens and Twenty-somethings is interesting… but, whatever doesn’t kill ya Honey only makes ya stronger… or… so they say. *winks*

By Michelle

Michelle

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