Not of destruction.
I refuse to believe that.
Two years ago, the day after the presidential election, I was despondent.
I am no longer despondent.
Do I wish the blue wave had a little more motion in it’s ocean? Sure, I do.
But what I wanted was a fairy tale. What we needed was control of the house. We got that. And so much more.
Am I sad about Beto? Yes, I am.
But Kim Davis, the bigoted asshole clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples in Kentucky got ousted. So, yay!
That was not the only bright spot from last night. There were so many more.
I started writing this post on Sunday. So really, the title makes more sense if we all time travel back a few days. But then if we do then the rest of the post will not make sense. Or I’d be a prophet. Either way, I think it’s been to leave time travel to the professionals.
Anyway, I was scared, hopeful and tired. I couldn’t bring myself to put my fears into words.
I haven’t been writing much at all because I’ve been stuck in a haze of fear and anxiety. I’m still not okay, but I will be.
Before the election, I spoke with my mother.
My mom is one of the most kind and mild-mannered people I know. I have probably only heard her yell a couple dozen times in my entire life.
I told her that if we didn’t at least get the house, we might as well cash in our chips. Just liquidate everything and go on a hedonistic binge because we’re fucked and what is the point. I’m giving up.
She didn’t yell at me. But she did speak very sternly to me.
She said, “Oh no, missy. No you don’t. You don’t get to give up. You will fight like you always do and you will keep fighting. We’re going to fight until we’re done on this earth.”
So, no matter what happens, I don’t get to stop fighting. My mom says I can’t.
I am happy we won the House.
I am not even a little bit surprised Jeff Sessions was fired today. He’s going to try to fire Mueller and end the investigation against him.
So, the fight isn’t over. Not even close.
We’re going to see more violence. And we’re going to have to watch, horrified, while a criminal continues to attempt to destroy our country. Everyone in the world fucking knows he’s guilty, but we have to watch and wait and maybe dust off our walking shoes.
One thing that is constantly on my mind is the sheer number of people in his base. I knew there were a lot of racists in the US, but damn.
There are so many of them, you guys. So many.
I am afraid for all of us. I hope we’ll be okay.
Sorry that I’ve been spotty with my posts of late, but this is kicking my ass.
I’m looking forward to some time away soon.
Take care of yourselves. We have a long haul in front of us.