We’re On The Eve

Not of destruction.

I refuse to believe that.

Two years ago, the day after the presidential election, I was despondent.

I am no longer despondent.

Do I wish the blue wave had a little more motion in it’s ocean? Sure, I do.

But what I wanted was a fairy tale. What we needed was control of the house. We got that. And so much more.

Am I sad about Beto? Yes, I am.

But Kim Davis, the bigoted asshole clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples in Kentucky got ousted. So, yay!

That was not the only bright spot from last night. There were so many more.

I started writing this post on Sunday. So really, the title makes more sense if we all time travel back a few days. But then if we do then the rest of the post will not make sense. Or I’d be a prophet. Either way, I think it’s been to leave time travel to the professionals.

Anyway, I was scared, hopeful and tired. I couldn’t bring myself to put my fears into words.

I haven’t been writing much at all because I’ve been stuck in a haze of fear and anxiety. I’m still not okay, but I will be.

Before the election, I spoke with my mother.

My mom is one of the most kind and mild-mannered people I know. I have probably only heard her yell a couple dozen times in my entire life.holding hands together

I told her that if we didn’t at least get the house, we might as well cash in our chips. Just liquidate everything and go on a hedonistic binge because we’re fucked and what is the point. I’m giving up.

She didn’t yell at me. But she did speak very sternly to me.

She said, “Oh no, missy. No you don’t. You don’t get to give up. You will fight like you always do and you will keep fighting. We’re going to fight until we’re done on this earth.”

So, no matter what happens, I don’t get to stop fighting. My mom says I can’t.

I am happy we won the House.

I am not even a little bit surprised Jeff Sessions was fired today. He’s going to try to fire Mueller and end the investigation against him.

So, the fight isn’t over. Not even close.

We’re going to see more violence. And we’re going to have to watch, horrified, while a criminal continues to attempt to destroy our country. Everyone in the world fucking knows he’s guilty, but we have to watch and wait and maybe dust off our walking shoes.

One thing that is constantly on my mind is the sheer number of people in his base. I knew there were a lot of racists in the US, but damn.

There are so many of them, you guys. So many.

I am afraid for all of us. I hope we’ll be okay.

Sorry that I’ve been spotty with my posts of late, but this is kicking my ass.

I’m looking forward to some time away soon.

Take care of yourselves. We have a long haul in front of us.



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    • I will be at the front of the bus. This shit just gets so tiring. I mean, I am watching right now that the white hours released doctored footage from fucking INFOWARS to prove Jim Acosta put his hands on a WH aide, when in fact, it was the other way around. She put her hands on him when she tried to take the microphone from him. They are just blatant at this point. It makes me feel helpless.

  • Re so many racists….YES. When the polls predicted close races, I was horrified. Close?!? How is this possible? And yet, here we are.

    Your mom is right, though I feel like you. “Why bother; we’re doomed”… but we can’t. That’s how “they” win. And I refuse to be complicit in their inhumanity.

  • When my husband died, I found an online support group that nearly did me in. Most of the women wallowed in their grief and didn’t even try. I know that sounds harsh, but damn it, we have to keep trying. So yes, there are days when I watch Ellen interview celebrities on YouTube because I just. can’t. And other days I am energized and ready to fight like hell. Because we can’t give up.

    I’ve been listening to the Pod Save America podcast, and also watching them on YouTube. Smart, eloquent former-Obama staffers. Very energizing and also comforting. Yesterday, one of them commented that even winning the House was a huge accomplishment, because the GOP had gerrymandered the fuck out of the country so that it couldn’t happen. I felt much better.

    Hang in there!

  • I refuse to believe that this story ends well for Donald Trump. He’s the villain, all you have to do is take one look at him to know that, and this will not end well for him in the end. I am confident that the good guys will win.

    OK, maybe not GOOD guys. But better people? Less evil people? Us?

  • I am a native Texan – born, raised and hope to die here. 😉
    Disgusted by the Ted Cruz win. How in the actual fuck can people think he is a better option that Beto…!?! But, I digress…
    Like your mom said “we’re going to fight until we’re done on this earth”…
    Even today, the morning after yet ANOTHER act of gun violence in this country, when it seems like the “bad guys” are winning, we’ll fight. There’s no other option.

  • Lucy McBath’s son was shot and killed following an argument about him playing his music too loud.
    Nevertheless she persisted. Just a few minutes ago Lucy McBath not only won a seat in the House of Representatives but beat a Republican in Georgia.
    Your mother’s right. Never give up. Your mother is an inspiring person, Lucy McBath is an inspiring person, and, believe it or not, you inspire others too.
    Keep fighting. Keep persisting.

  • During the ‘hanging chad’ fiasco, family members were chastising me about how stupid Floridians are. I agreed, although resented the implication that I was also responsible. Now this! I was completely stunned Wednesday morning. When I saw the slim margins I thought – ‘why aren’t they demanding a recount’? Now, it seems, they are. They are also investigating why more than 24,000 people in Broward & Palm Beach voted for Governor but not Senate. Why are “they” still referring to Florida as a Blue State? Now I’m feeling shame for Florida as I thought we had it ‘in the bag’. I guess Scott bought himself yet another political position (almost $150 MILLION in his OWN MONEY for both Governor an Senate). We’re going to look like asses again with these recounts. I finally believe that votes can be rigged!

  • One of my mentors shared this quote today and it made me smile. Abigail Adams said, “If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.”
    Fuck being a lady and fuck the patriarchy. We are here to fight!!!

  • Michelle,
    When my grandmother sought comfort or guidance, she’d open the Bible to a random page, stick her finger on the page and read the “message.”
    I feel a bit like Nana when I read your work, because it always seems to give me the right message at the right time. Last night, I was lamenting the need to continue to fight. I am approaching retirement. I am tired. I lived through the sixties as a child in D.C. I have been entrenched in politics for most of my adult life. All the strides that millions fought for, inch by inch, disappointment by disappointment, seem to have been erased and we are back at square one. But we aren’t. This is a horrible blip that is forcing us to wake up and hit the reset button.
    Your mom is a hero. Her message to you was what I needed to hear today. Thanks.

  • “Listen to your Mother.” How many times have we heard that? Well, in this case it is absolutely great advise! Yes, we may be losing, but we will prevail. It’s just going to take a little [I use that term loosely] longer. We did get some awesome women elected, so that’s a start. NEVER GIVE UP! Go and have a great time with your friends. We all will be waiting to hear of your souvenir victory. Go Michelle!!!

  • I’d rather mind your Mama than listen to mine, right now.
    Me, too…speechless and shaking …biding my/our time.
    Finding little things to bring me snippets of joy… or like minded thoughts and feelings… like your blog <3

  • Kurt Eichenwald wrote a long thread on Twitter explaining how actually good we did on Tuesday, and some if the implications for the future.
    I’d link to it but I’m back to 2G data speeds and… oh fuck that here it is:


    Anyway, it’s a sometimes brutally honest assessment of the numbers, and the numbers are horrible for the GOP.
    No, we didn’t get it all in one election, but we were never going to do that given the worst senate map for us in modern history.
    What I’m hoping for is that this exposes the GOP as the conniving cheats that they are, and that in turn drives a few of their less strident adherents away from them, or more importantly, pisses off enough white women to get them to start voting their gender instead of their color.
    I feel like we have to keep at this because “winning” is not a task that you can complete and then leave there secure in the knowledge that it is fixed and we can move on from there.
    The political right will never be done trying to tear down the society we have built, and our opposition to them must be ongoing for as long as we want to live in that society.
    But for the moment (read that two years) Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and the ACA are safe from their promise to tear them down… that is unless they pull some shit in the lame duck.

  • I recently had to unfriend someone the other day on FB. If I had to hear just one more time how she is “winning” because of her 401k, thanks to Trump, I was going to lose it!! Please believe me when I say that I am grateful that I live in a country where you can vote for who you believe in, but she doesn’t realize that the reason her 401K was doing well is because of the stock market. It WAS doing well until October when it lost 1 Trillion dollars. Now of course, she won’t see the damage of that immediately, but when she does see it, i KNOW she will blame it on the Democrats in the House. Many of these people also don’t realize how expensive things are about to get because of the tariffs. I like to do a lot of sewing, and the cost of fabric is going WAY up because we don’t grow cotton in the US anymore, and we couldn’t start doing it because we don’t have the infrastructure.

  • Michelle, You’re not alone. I found myself stressed the night of the midterms. I was very happy about the house, but “skeptical” about certain races in Florida, Texas, and especially Georgia. All way too close… again. I’d like to say I trust the outcomes, but don’t. Still, what’s there to do? I’m not sure.

By Michelle


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