Don’t Cry Over The Ugly Things, Baby

“Don’t cry over the ugly things, baby, cry over the beautiful things.”

This is one of my favorite things that Randy has ever said to me. I remember his words and I remember to seek out the pretty things.

I remember everything isn’t shit, even in this horrific year. 2021 is taking it’s own sweet fucking time getting here.

I do, however, try to seek out things that make me happy.

Or really, just anything that quells the constant outrage and horror at what is happening to us.

The house we bought a little over two years ago is older. It was built in 1952. It’s just a small brick house in a blue collar neighborhood and needs a little work.

One of the things that has happened over the past few months, is the cabinet doors in the kitchen started trying to escape. I have no idea why, but it’s like they’re running away.

Our solution, so far, is to take the worst of the offenders off and stack them in the dining room. I’ll deal with this sooner or later. I will. But honestly, I have driveway issues, water heater issues, deck issues and roof issues which are way more pressing than some stupid cabinet doors.

Anyway, the cabinet that holds mugs and glasses no longer has a door.

Today, I noticed this mug on the top shelf. I hadn’t seen it in a while. Like years. It’s a chipped up Little Mermaid coffee mug.Little mermaid coffee mug

When he was 4 years old, my son, Zach, gave me this mug for mother’s day. I don’t know that Little Mermaid was the first movie that Zach and I saw together, but it was one of the first.

I pulled it from the shelf and showed it to Randy.

Me: I haven’t seen this in forever. Where did it come from?

Randy: I think Joey had it up in his room.

Me: For what? Like two years?

Randy: Totally possible.

Me: Damn

Anyway, it made me happy to see my mug again. Zach is 33 years old now. This mug might be one of my top ten oldest possessions.

Randy: Why don’t you put that up?

Me: But I just got it back.

Randy: It might get broken.

Me: Yeah, it might.

Randy: There are chips in it, you’ll cut your lip.

Me: I know where the chips are.

Randy: If you put it in the cabinet, then you won’t be the only one using it.

Me: I’m cool with sharing.

Me: You know, if I drink coffee out of this mug in the morning and then drop in and break it, I will appreciate the coffee I just drank. I’d rather use it than fret over it.

And that is true.

I mean, we all have to say goodbye to everything at some point, right?

I want to enjoy the things that make me happy and then let them go when it is time rather than horde them and fret over their inevitable demise.

I know it’s just a banged up coffee mug with a Disney image on it, but it still makes me happy. It is one of my pretty things.

We are nearly there my friends. I know it is scary right now, but soon we can start to rebuild. It won’t be easy, but it will be good.

We’re all going to cry, but try to remember to sometimes cry over the beautiful things.




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  • You could always use the coffee mug as a pen holder or paperclips or some such thing. (Something that doesn’t get used all the time and might last, even while being enjoyed out in the open – unless cats show an interest). That way you’ll be able to see it and use it, without constant worry about it breaking. And also, he might get it as an ‘heirloom’ to give to his children. The fact that he kept it in his room all that time means it really meant something to him then.

    Randy certainly has his moments of pure brilliance, doesn’t he.

  • I feel that way too. We used our Christmas plates this year, first time in forever it seems. We talked about gifting them to a family member because we haven’t done the big holiday dinners in a really long time. It took us years to collect our whole set. They have beautiful trees on them. I love trees. Especially ones with presents underneath. Anyway, I had forgotten how much I loved them. I will not gift them. I will use them, and maybe one year we will have another large holiday dinner. πŸ™‚

  • Randy’s very wise and I’m glad you don’t discount your own wisdom in embracing his words. It’s better to cry over the loss of something pretty that you used and lost than crying over never having used it.
    Now I want “β€œDon’t cry over the ugly things, baby, cry over the beautiful things” on a coffee mug. But I also want it said by Conspiracy Goat.

  • Randy and you are both wise, and I’m going into this new year hopeful, and with good advice!

    BTW, yesterday I thought about the fact that you are just about the only blogger I discovered when I started blogging back in 2013 that is still writing. I’m glad you are.

  • When my friend JT saved me from homelessness, he helped me get my music gear out of storage and out of the pawn shop. He also lent me his car and $40 so I could go to SF to see the Meat Puppets.
    That show was right after the MTV Unplugged episode that launched them into larger venues and more money, and they responded by enlarging the acoustic set in their show and moving it to the beginning. The ticket said “Meat Puppets, unplugged and plugged”, and I noticed that Curt Kirkwood never actually used his Marshall that night; the electric part of their set sounded just fine through his little amp miked into the PA, and it gave me some ideas about my own equipment. I needed some effects pedals and my old amp head was, well, big and old, and perhaps I could sell it and get a smaller amp and some signal processors with the proceeds…
    Fast forward to the day I actually got my amp and speaker box out of the storage and into JT’s second house where I was living: I didn’t know it but JT had sort of snuck in and was working in the kitchen while I hooked my gear up and plugged my guitar into it for the first time in years.
    The tubes warmed up and I played a chord…
    A voice from the kitchen “That sounds really good, Doug”
    Me: “They will get my amplifier from me when they pry my cold, dead fingers from the handle…”
    That amp and speaker box, along with my PA, mixing board, and three of my guitars are all in a storage in Rohnert Park and I am doubtful that I will ever see them again.
    Last I checked, my fingers were both warm and alive.
    Over the past few days I have been reviewing the cassette tapes in my archive of recorded material, most of which were made using that amp that I bought in 1981.
    There are hours of that shit, and some of it actually sounds OK.
    If I never see that amp again, I’m OK with that. It was part of a deal that freed us of a massive pile of possessions that we had no way to move and nowhere to store, and ended with us living here in this room downstairs from Zsuzs’ house ten minutes drive from the south gate to Yosemite.
    I’ll take that deal.
    Fuck that, I’m ecstatic about that deal.
    That amp had a good run, and played a key role in my musical life, but it is no ,longer appropriate for the situation in which my life is set.
    Anyway, that’s what I thought of when I read about your mug.
    We’ll make it through this.
    Even though it snowed again, we’ll make it through.
    I hope you and your family all come out the other end of the goddamn apocalypse with some good stories to pass along in the years to come.

  • Ok at first I read the title wrong leaving out the word “things” which chanes what I thought it eas about No ugly baby here or there which is good but have to say I have seen a few ugly babies, in my time..

  • Well… that certainly stirred something inside of me.
    Quite the conundrum – use it and enjoy the use or encase it and only enjoy it when you happen to see it.
    I have way too many of those emotion-laden things myself. My line has blurred and my feelings have won so many times that I own a shipping container where I can put my fond memories and only pull them out when I feel like I can handle the emotion.
    Nothing has been pulled out.
    On a lighter note, I was going to loan my barrel saddle to my friend… turn out I have 7 saddles and truly only remember 2 of them.
    Use it and enjoy it Michelle.
    I will too <3 And just like dying from a good horse fall, I will know I was enjoying myself when I used it for the very last time.
    You really do have the best advice!

  • I do a new year’s card instead of Christmas. This year it was SO hard to find a few happy memories, but I did. Bonus son bought his condo and moved out. Oldest made Dean’s list twice. Youngest had a fantastic drive through High School graduation. And the Hubs and I managed to make it thus far with no unexpected rona baby. πŸ™‚

    And the most thankful of all… despite the road we are now on with him, Youngest’s suicide attempt failed. 2020 has been so damaging… and yet it can give us so much more to look forward to in 2021.

By Michelle


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