My grandmother (the good one. I had a good grandma and bad grandma) lived to be 95 years old. Her name was Daisy, she had fluffy white hair, and was around 4 feet tall when she died. She made fudge and these little coconut covered cream cheese balls at Christmas.
Anyway, she told me when she was a child that whenever they would hear a plane, the whole family would run outside to look at it. Then she said “You know, we did that for cars, too.”
She was born before women were given the right to vote. When she died we were all carrying around little computers in our pockets. What a kick life must have been for her, to see so much, to experience the rapid changes we humans experienced.
I love living on this earth today. I am thrilled to experience life today. I love technology and am curious to know what else I will see before I shuffle off my mortal coil. I know it’s popular to bemoan the fact that kids today don’t experience nature the way we did. We were outside playing, getting sunshine and fresh air.
I grew up in an urban area and the air wasn’t so fresh. I spent one summer digging a hole in our backyard. Just a hole. By the time I was finished, it was over my head. I don’t think I learned a lot that summer. I was just always dirty. I have to think that reading a few wiki articles would have taught me something other than “it takes a long time to dig a hole with a tablespoon”. Digging holes only teaches a person so much. Which is mainly a kid will do anything if they’re bored enough.
But I digress.
Anyway, I love being alive right now. Having the world at my fingertips is awesome. But do you know what I love best? I mean besides you guys?
Netflix.
Netflix is the best.
Go ahead and judge. I don’t care. Go ahead and list hundreds of advances in technology that are more interesting and more important than being able to stream whatever show I want whenever I want. I mean, at least when I get the remote. Right now we’re watching what Randy wants, which is Mulholland Falls. I won’t complain. At least it’s better than the night I had to watch Rubber which was about a tire that rolled around by itself and blew shit up. Or Zombeavers. For all that is fucking holy.
I am totally cool with this. I don’t mind that Netflix is my favorite. I also love Amazon prime streaming, but really, we know Netflix is the catchall.
There is always a price, though, isn’t there? If we love something, we must pay for it. And I’m not talking the 7.99 a month, or whatever it is now. I am talking about the large expanse of my life that is consumed by the endless scrolling through titles.
Randy is the master scroller. He scrolls like a fiend. He is a professional level scroller. In fact, if you are ever in my bedroom while he scrolls through titles, I suggest not looking at the screen because it might trigger a seizure. Also, what the fuck are you doing in our bedroom? Weirdo.
I am a little more methodical in my scrolling. I don’t zip through like I’m trying to win a goddamn Netflix scrolling race. I actually read a bit before I move on and then settle on one of a few shows that I’ve watched a zillion times. I can tell how much Randy hates whatever show I pick by the loudness of his sighs. Unless it’s Doctor Who. Then he moans a little. And not in a sexy way.
Maybe, it would be best if we didn’t watch so much TV in the evenings. I’m sure there are more productive ways to spend our time. On the other hand, our backyard is free of hand dug holes.
Here’s to all of us having a weekend filled with unicorns and cotton candy!
Also, here are two memes I made for my Rubber Shoes In Hell Facebook page:
I just spent blah, blah, blah on this super-duper WiFi antenna that will transmit from my desk to the two big screens the kids have. Lo and fucking behold it works. Their Netflix and other free stations work fine, without buffering, now. Mission accomplished.
My wife, Teresa, is going to show me how to get those programs on our TV. I was like a kid running out of the house to see the kids do it and Teresa is all matter of fact about it. Soon I will be too. Seems to be tons of channels and I’m looking forward to having our own ‘airplane.’
YAY for super duper WiFi antennas!
That Amped antenna rebroadcasts to cover 100,000 sq. ft, ! (jaw drops)
Netflix Rocks! Netflix Rocks!
(You know…’Cleveland Rocks! tune)
Scrolling is as scrolling does.
Each of us has our own method and the guy that isn’t scrolling is the like the back seat driver, complete with brake applying screeches and missed turn groans.
I, like Randy, express my ‘displeasure?’ ‘resignation?’ acceptance of the program chosen by the level of groan that accompanies the eye roll.
And then I end up doing the techie stuff WHILE I halfheartedly watch the TV part.
Now THAT’S technology 🙂
Keeping the arguments at a low incidence rate by placating the boredom and skipping the commercials.
Hahaah..I have Cleveland Rocks stuck in my brain now.
I love Netflix, too. My husband doesn’t watch TV or movies. (Well, he goes to the movie theater maybe twice a year.) I don’t have to negotiate with him, but then I don’t have a point of reference to discuss films. But I have gal pals who are Netflix fans. I even call a girlfriend from out of state to discuss The Bachelor/ette (shhh. guilty pleasure, or really, it’s like roadkill that fascinates and repulses at the same time.) Good luck perfecting your scrolling game.
Phffft…I no longer have guilty pleasures. If I like something, then I like it. Haha.
Thanks for a perfect weekend post! I think i love your grandma. I laughed about the hole until i read “tablespoon” and then: oh yaaa…tablespoon digging. I remember it well except for me it was under the neighbour’s front porch. My son has been paying my Netflix for a couple of years (a present) & I’ve resisted it save a few dozen Family Guy episodes & the occasional movie – until early this summer. I knew I’d cave eventually & I’d be signing away a good portion of my life. Know what? I DON’T CARE!!! I think of the time I’ve lost not watching…I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate you sooner, dear Netflix!
Stranger Things, Sense 8, House of Cards…you must watch them.
Yeah, Netflix is all that & a bag o’ chips, but they rescinded Doctor Who a while back, just as I was enjoying the David Tennant seasons!!!
(I watched Tom Baker as the Doctor as a teenager way back when – now there’s a trivia contest! Name as many Doctors as you can – I’d lose bcz I’ve always been a Trekkie, but as I’ve gotten older the Whoniverse just seems to make more sense 🙁
However there’s a new Spockumentary coming out (made by Leonard’s son) which I eagerly await…
I had to flip to Amazon Prime for Doctor Who. I was so fucking bummed when they took it off Netflix. I had to pay for the seasons I wanted but now I have them when I need them.
If we lived in London, we wouldn’t have to search for the Doctor. Or wait for the new season. Sigh.
So what did you do after you had a Michelle-sized hole at the end of the summer? Plant a tree? Make a lake? Bury a time capsule?
My dad filled it in and bitched at me the whole time.
Yep. Me and Netflix. We be buds.
A friend who will always be there and never let you down. As long as the internet isn’t down.
But back to Netflix: started watching BoJack Horseman from the beginning & find myself enthralled… (Son had been watching it, gave it rave reviews – but when I first looked at mid-range episodes I just found it silly)
A universe shared between humans & anthropomorphisized animals? Suddenly seems to make sense!
My boys liked that show too, but I just couldn’t get into it. Rick and Morty as well…my kids swear by it..it just kind of grosses me out.
I love Netflix too. The only thing is, I can never remember how to work the TV. It used to be just on and off. Now there are multiple remotes and I need a chart just to figure out all the buttons. It’s funny because I can set up websites but the TV leaves me dumbfounded.
I know what you mean. I’m a computer programmer, but I get confused by my phone, my TV and fuck setting up players at the bowling alley.
Hi Michelle,
How do you have time to watch so much Netflix? I am always blogging in my free time.
That said, we do watch Orange is the New Black on Netflix. I love it!
It sounds like you have nice memories of your grandma.
Janice
I write with the TV on almost always. I need noise to distract the part of my brain that refuses to calm the fuck down. So, I miss a lot on Netflix. I watched the first season of OITNB but it freaked me out. I got anxious watching it. I think it is because I know I would not thrive in prison. haha.
I just built a deck in my back yard. Actually, my deck is my backyard, because in California, the yards are that damn small. You know what i did so the kids like to sit outside around the fire pit? I put in enough electrical outlets that they can charge and stream, and we did blah blah blah so that there is good wifi. Compared to my childhood of hoping no one started screaming at me, i think we have it better now.
I do think we have it much better now. And I kind of want to hang out on your deck.
My only pet peeve (and I know how you love pet peeves) is that we gave up cable and moved to Roku, and we pay for Netflix and Prime and now Hulu… and THERE’S STILL NOTHING ON. hahaha
We have Netflix here, and Briana watches some show about a girl and her brother who have the power to make people do things with their minds. There seemed to be a lot of blood involved.
I do appreciate the advances in technology I have seen in my lifetime, and I am still looking forward to more. I spent years and years feeling disadvantaged as a musician because it cost far more than I could ever afford to get a decent recording of my music made, and as a guitarist, I couldn’t afford the kind of gear that I wanted to play with.
Then, around 2003, I got a computer. By the time I had a 5.1 surround system to play through in real time (using my old-ass PA and guitar rig from the early eighties connected to my computers with cables I built myself) I had spent less than $100.00 on the whole thing. I had electronic drums and bass and synthesizers to back me up, and I pirated a couple of programs that let me record and play real time music that I could have never afforded before the computer showed up. There was a “learning curve” to overcome with each piece of software, and I did get frustrated (especially with the Linux stuff) at the utter incompatibility of writing command lines while trying to play my instrument, but there now exist on a couple of hard drives a bunch of original music that only existed in my head before.
So Yay for technology!
We had rotary phones when I was a kid. We still had one when I was in High School. (We had touch tone phones upstairs, but the one downstairs in the laundry room I used to talk to my secret girlfriend with was rotary.)
We have a nice TV here that can supposedly connect to a laptop and play whatever you have on your screen, and I plan on figuring that feature out so I can watch some of the videos I have on my drive on a bigger screen with better sound. I’m mostly thinking of the video I have of The Joy Formidable playing ACL in 2013.
I was also thinking of signing up for a trial HBO membership so I could watch Bryan Cranston play LBJ…
Dude, I remember having a party line when I was kid. I would randomly pick up the phone and HOPE someone else was on the line so I could just sit there and listen in on their conversation.
I have thought about that. Technological change (advancement?) used to come at a really rather slow rate, so the people born in the twenties probably saw more technological and cultural change than any generation in history, at least if they stuck around for a while.
Exactly, it’s pretty amazing. I mean, even thinking how different life is from when I was a kid until now is awesome.
When we look for something to watch on TV, my wife will pull up the guide and carefully study each description of each show. Not me, if I get hold of the remote (I actually call it a flipper) I bypass the guide and just blow through each channel at the speed of light until I fine something that catches my interest. Drives my wife crazy. When I do this she would like to dig a hole in the back yard and throw me in it.
Hahahah…we call our remote “bee boop” because that is the sound the Roku remote makes.
OMG! Rubber! What is not to love about a murderous sentient tire in a movie about a movie??!! That is the B-movie that all other B-movies is judged by in our house. It has even surpassed Killer Tomatoes.
On the other end of the scale is Tusk. For all that is holy Do. Not. Waste. Your. Time. That one still gets me ribbed by my friends because it was my recommendation on B-movies night. The lure of Johnny Depp is great, but trust me, it’s not fucking worth it. I have 2 stuffed walruseseses (walrusi?) in our living room taunting me because of that damn movie. Fucking hell it stunk!
Thanks to Netflix we have the 20 minute test in our house. If we watch the first 20 minutes of a movie and one of us thinks it sucks, we switch to another. Back in the Blockbuster days, you watched that sucky movie because goddamn it, you paid for it!
Oh fuck watching Tusk. I know the premise and it’s fairly horrifying. And I love Kevin Smith.
Errr…okay…Rubber. Yeeeaaahhhh…no. I didn’t like it. Randy loved it. You might like Little Otik or Otik or something like that. About a woman who has a log for a baby and I think it kills people. I don’t know for sure. Randy and Joey loved it.
Haven’t seen that one yet, I’m definitely going to look for it. The worst thing that could happen is I lose 20 minutes of my life right?
Exactly! I do that daydreaming every day.
I love Netflix but sometimes it annoys me when things I think should be on there aren’t. Oh, believe me, it was super awesome being able to watch “Stranger Things” which three different people told me reminded them of me…that may or may not be a compliment.
I’m just always amazed and a little baffled by what Netflix doesn’t have.
And pissed off at the thought of having to get Amazon or Hulu or some other shit when I really want one-stop shopping.
I loved Stranger Things! We also have Amazon, but we order a lot, so I get it for the free shipping..the streaming is just a bonus.
Ohhh….Zombeavers…my husband made me watch that one, because the guys at his work wouldn’t stop talking about how hilarious it was. That is an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back.
We watched some movie called something like “Amazon Nymphomaniacs from the Planet Danger” or something like that. That isn’t right at all because if I google that, I don’t get the title I’m looking for and I’m not searching for that shit. In either case, it was wretched.
Netflix is da bomb. I love it – especially when Al is awa and I can pretty much binge watch whatever I want.
Have the best week !!! xox
Right? I just got Randy to start watching Twin Peaks with me. He’s never seen it.
Just found this post, and even though it is from a long time ago, have to comment on my mother’s love of “Netflick” – yes, that’s what she calls it, drives me crazy, but she’s 78 and I love her, so I don’t say anything. She is the binge-watcher of all binge-watchers and has a crush on Robert Taylor of Longmire. When she started watching it, she watched the entire series (40+ episodes) in like three days and when they loaded the new season I thought she’d pee herself.
OMG I love that! I might have to start calling it Netflick because that is awesome.