Have A Hard Time Getting Ready In The Morning?

H

Let me help.

I have had decades of experience as a person who waits to the last possible second to get ready for work in the morning. For instance, it’s 6:54 am as I type this. I should be in the shower instead of writing a blog post.

Seriously, I have no idea why I think it’s a good idea to write this right now.

I have never mastered the art of preparing in advance. I used to assume as I  grew ‘older’,  I would become more organized and, well, more grown up.

Well, I got older. Organization didn’t happen.

Back in the 80’s, when I had to dress ‘business professional’ every day, I mastered the art of putting clear fingernail polish on pantyhose runs while still wearing them. More evenings than not, my hose didn’t slide off. The hose had to be yanked off because they were glued to my legs.

More than once, I used the iron on a piece of clothing while I was wearing it. 

I could apply makeup, even mascara, while riding the bus. Riding the bus was essential. Not only because it was cheap, but then I could balance a brief case on my lap and get the work done that I took home the night before.

Pretty sure my permed hair got me through the 80s. All I had to do was pick it out and if my hair still looked bad, I could put it up in a banana clip.

Now? I have developed time savers and want to pass the savings along to you!

Don’t wear pantyhose ever again. Seriously. Not for any reason. I work in a casual atmosphere and there are some women who wear pantyhose and dresses. On purpose! We can wear jeans and sneaks, if we want, every day. I wear a dress, but that is only if all my jeans are down in the basement. Certainly, I don’t wear goddamn pantyhose with the dress.

Stop ironing. I haven’t ironed in years. Not once since we moved in this house 6 years ago. I don’t even know where the iron is. I think it’s in the basement, but I’m not sure. My feeling is, if the wrinkles won’t come out by tossing it in the dryer for 5 minutes then I’m not wearing it.

Get other people to find clothes for you to wear. This one is tricky. I’ve found the fool proof method is to ensure Randy’s socks are at the bottom of the laundry basket. He is picky about his socks. He will pull every piece of clothing one piece at a time out of the basket while looking for his socks. All I have to do is lay in bed and watch each piece fly onto the bed until he provides me with under garments and a shirt that isn’t too wrinkled. Sure, I have to listen to him bitch about not being able to find socks, but that is a small price to pay.

Skip steps. Change them up. For instance, this morning? No eye shadow. Fuck wearing eye shadow. Tomorrow? Who knows? Maybe I’ll go commando. Maybe I’ll wear the same jeans I wore the day before. And Monday.

Find a hole in your shirt? No you didn’t. You didn’t see the hole before you left your house. You didn’t see it until you got to work and someone else pointed it out. Personally, I don’t point out other people’s holes. I am of the opinion that other people’s holes are not my business. And yes, I do mean that in more than one way.

So, ,what are your time saving steps? Seriously, I need to know. I am so fucking late today.

 

 

 

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86 comments

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  • Ha ha ha, I don’t even own an iron, so totally with you on that. The only things I own that have to be pressed are dry clean only and get worn once in a blue moon.
    Tights or pantihose as you guys call them I wear even less often.
    When I have had day jobs I had got it down to an artform as I really am not a morning person and would do anything to maximise my sleep. I could be up and out in 20 minutes flat, totally on automatic though. If anyone got in the way or attempted to interact with me then my routine would go to pot.
    I don’t often wear make up during the day but when I do it’s done on the tube, you’d never manage it on a London bus as you’re usually clinging on for dear life.
    🙂

    My time saving tips are –
    1) Get up when the alarm goes off. Don’t procrastinate or hit snooze, just force yourself up immediately and hit the shower.

    2) Decide what you’re wearing and leave it out the night before, that way you can get dressed without the use of thought in the morning, for those of us who are not compus mentis till much, much later in the day. Also leave anything you need to take with you by the front door before you go to bed, so you don’t have to look for it and can’t forget it on the way out the next day.

    2) Put the kettle on before you go into the bathroom, that way when you’re ready the coffee doesn’t take so long to make. Drink the coffee while you’re getting ready and leave as soon as you’re dressed.

    3) Unless you’re someone who likes to eat breakfast in the first few minutes of waking take something to eat with you. You can eat it while you travel or when you get to work.

    4) If you’re not driving, do make up en route.

    That’s pretty much how I used to do it and was the only way I could actually get myself out on time.
    🙂

      • If I didn’t prep the night before an early morning start there is no way I’d be able to function well enough to pick clothes out. I’m basically a zombie until the afternoon 🙂
        So you’re definitely better at mornings than I am.

  • I am not a morning person. For me, it’s about exactly how late I can push it before I absolutely HAVE to get up. Every minute counts. My big time saver is that I now work from home. I am sitting in a robe with wet hair right now, running predictive models and simultaneously catching up on my blog reading. That’s heaven, baby.

  • I no longer work in an office, and am currently typing this from my living room, surrounded by a dog, two cats, and my coworker who happens to be my husband. I am also wearing my pyjamas. This is my main time-saving device: don’t have an office.

    I might have a shower later this morning. If I feel like it. Or maybe I’ll just go make more coffee.

  • I’m implementing all of these immediately. My biggest time saver is that I never go anywhere, so I don’t have to worry about being on time or even dressed.

  • I was going to say the dog was a timesaving tip, but actually she’s just a getting-out-of-bed tip. (It’s pretty inspirational, even at 5:30AM, when she’s whining and writhing and explaining that she’s going to pee right HERE if someone doesn’t take her outside right NOW. Of course, all benefits of being upright vanish when you get outside and she proceeds to take half an hour to sniff every damn blade of grass—yes, the exact same ones she sniffed nine hours ago—before she finally consents to potty.

    So really, I guess the only thing that ever worked for me was having all four kids move out, getting laid off, moving to another country, and becoming a work at home writer. Of course, the dog didn’t get that memo, so we’re still out at 5:30AM auditioning grass blades she refuses to pee on…

  • I’ve just lowered my standards a whole lot. That seems to help. I use words like “organic,” “natural,” and “artisanal” to describe my look.

    But I still wear pantyhose to evening engagements. It covers up my bruisey legs.

  • Uh, I think I have exactly the OPPOSITE strategy – be as late for work as possible without actually BEING late. I am endlessly procrastination-minded because I kind of fucking hate this place. I will get up after whacking the snooze-bar no less than 3 times, stroll downstairs, sometimes I decide at the last minute to wash some dishes from the night (or 3 nights!) before, spend too much time plucking, wash my face, do the makeup thing sometimes WITH eyeliner; sometimes without. Then I have to pick out my clothes which can be another disaster/project altogether since when 1 thing doesn’t work, I’ll change a few times before finally going back downstairs to make my breakfast. At least I take THAT in the car! It’s a wonder I’m never more than 10 minutes late (which still marks me somehow as “on time”.) 😉

  • I used to work at a store I lived across the street from. Definitely saved me a lot of time. I could roll out of bed five minutes before I had to be there, throw on some clothes and eyeliner, and just wander across the road.
    I have to commute to a different city for my current job. What kind of bullshit is that? Someone needs to invent the teleporter, stat.

  • I do eyeliner and mascara, typically, that’s it. And the eyeliner smudges enough to make it look, er, “smoke” just through blinking throughout the day.

    Otherwise….it’s great if my fiancé stops for breakfast on the way home, ’cause that’s where my coffee will come from. And if it doesn’t smell, isn’t too wrinkled, and has nothing on it, it’s clean enough to wear to work.

    Oh yeah! And I mostly wear black. Black skirt, black pants, black t-shirts. Library t-shirts which match the black skirts and pants. Black dresses. It’s great! Jewelry makes it look like I put in effort.

  • I basically wear the same thing all the time. Black shirt, neutral pants, Chuck Taylors, and a funky scarf. I change up the scarf so it doesn’t look like I’m wearing the same clothes 2 (or 3 or 5) days in a row. Scarves are also key for covering up breakfast-on-your-shirt stains. And no makeup. This is how I look, and if anyone doesn’t like it, that’s their business, not mine.

  • Ahh hahaha love the comment on not wearing pantyhose. Um, yeah. The first two years in my job, I totally dressed professionally every single day– ironed shirt, trousers, never repeating an outfit within three weeks… now I roll out and put on one of the five shirts that’s hanging on top of the fan in my bedroom. On Monday we had a big meeting and I was pissed at my boss so I wore jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals. One of the topics that came up was dressing professionally and everyone was like “Aussa always… oh wait.” It was a moment of pride.

  • So true. I haven’t worn panty hose for about 25 years. And I do remember them being stuck to my leg with clear nail polish.
    I mostly wear my sister’s hand-me-downs which really helps with the shopping angst.
    I only do the eye shadow mascara thing for REALLY REALLY special occasions (same with the iron) and today I did all my errands with my shirt inside out.
    I couldn’t figure out how to fix this without flashing the bank/mall/parking lot, so I just wore it proudly pretending that was how it was supposed to be.
    And it was purple.
    So, yes, I am that 59 year old (almost) who wears purple.
    Inside out!

  • *grins* I haven’t ironed since I was 15 and my mum said I had to do all my own from then on.

    BUT I do get up early…gotta get in a few minutes of exercise and then TIME TO READ! And have a cup of tea.

  • Night before prep is my best tip. When I actually do that I end up at work on time looking (comparitively) like a princess. When I don’t, I basically also look like a crazy homeless person. Or maybe a lazy college student. Definitely not a professional.

  • I resigned from my job a few months ago, eliminating the need to get up in the morning let alone the need for a routine. Not that I’d recommend it for everyone, but it’ll work until the bank account dips to an unacceptable low… Requirements for next job definitely will include casual attire with make-up optional. I live in the South with 90% humidity most days- pantyhose aren’t in the cards.

  • I was not very good at getting to work exactly on time. Once, while punching in 45 minutes late, the owner walked by. so I apologized for my tardiness. He said “That’s OK Doug, when you’re here you’re the best we’ve got.”

  • This is another post that sort of points to the fact that we must be sisters !!!!!
    I also used to use clear nail polish on my stockings when they had a ladder in them and would peel them off my legs at the end of the day. I don’t think I even own a pair of stockings now and, unless I lose at least 25kgs, I won’t be wearing a dress any time soon.
    As for ironing – we found our iron when we moved 6 months ago but I’m not sure where it landed up after the move. I test crease clothes before I buy them – if they don’t pass the test, I don’t buy it. If A or K need something ironed – they have to iron it themselves – if they can find the iron !!!! I always said A could iron better than me anyway because he was conscripted for 2 yrs and had to iron properly !
    A really good time saving tip would be to get your clothes ready the night before but that would take the fun out of the morning – and who knows what the weather is going to be like the next day so how would you know what to put out – I never did get why people thought this was a good idea but hey, it may appeal to you (only kidding – I know it won’t but I thought I would add my suggestion anyway !!!)
    Have the best day and enjoy the weekend when it arrives in your part of the world !
    Me xox

  • I have daytime makeup and evening makeup. Daytime is minimal – usually powder, blush and mascara. It’s quick and with my black frame glasses I get away with it pretty well. So my tip I guess is get dark framed glasses and cut the makeup down during the day.

    I’ll be the bad guy here…limit your computer time in the morning if you hit snooze that time comes off your online time. EEK! Yes I said it!

    Best thing that has cut my shower time in half…laser hair removal treatments on my legs and armpits. With only one treatment so far I only shave my legs twice a week. With my next appointment (Monday) it should cut down to maybe once a week! After the next appointment (2 months from now) it will be shaving now and then. It’s awesome! Best investment in me EVER!

  • Yep, haven’t worn pantyhose in at least 12 yrs – the “special occasion” of my 2nd marriage! & my daily uniform consists of scrubs/tennis shoes…
    Gave up wearing daily makeup even before 1st marriage (my closest thing to feminist statement) – when I was young & cute enuff to get away w/it 😉 !!!
    Since I cut my hair short (about 20 yrs ago), styling consists of combing & very rare blow-drying (for instance, when staying in hotel where one is convenient)… I **COULD** conceivably sleep until an hour before I’m due at work, if only I didn’t have critters to feed & son to get on rd to school (still getting used to my new driver)!

  • This partly me I’m so disorganized, I can’t find anything. Partly I blame this on mom because she sees things like laundry and steals them, part of the Alzheimer’s. She somehow has gotten ahold of 4 pairs of hubby’s under wear that he refuses to mention or ever wear again because “It’s my mother”. I have lost things my whole life. Thankfully I am married to the most OCD man you will ever meet. I actually wrote a post about hubby training on my blog tomorrow. He will freak out if I can’t find a lighter. He keeps everything in place and super clean it’s just how he is. I have seen him come straight into the house from work see a smudge on the floor drop down and start scrubbing the kitchen floors. Alot of it because I am physically challenged but not brain dead and I raised two kids, take care of mom all day and do housework…a little. He is forbidden from washing clothes, that’s it and I cook and clean that up. Me I’m lucky if my socks matched. I had a black sweater that had a whole in it but I loved it, I would color a little place on my stomach with a magic marker and you could never tell! While he gets up early and looks immaculate when he walks out the door. We’re definitely the odd couple.

  • I haven’t ironed in ages. I’m going with the shabby chic look. My oldest son is a high school freshman and he has to get up at 5 freaking 30 in the am. Guess who’s trying desperately to stumble out of bed to get him up every morning? He’s got it down to a science too. It’s so much easier for guys. He can go from bed to bus in 5 minutes.

    • Mine can’t..he showers long enough that I begin to feel really guilty about the amount of water we are using and he fusses with his hair longer than I do..which I admit..lately isn’t much at all.

      Shabby chic. Yeah, I’m going with that. Like today, I have shabby chic bacon grease stains on my shirt.

  • I, too, work in a casual environment. Jeans, Ts, and sneakers are my wardrobe. I totally don’t understand some of the women who come to work all dressed up, skirts, stilettos, exquisite makeup. Who are they trying to impress? The guy in the stained Metallica t-shirt?
    My biggest worry was not wearing the same t-shirt two days in a row. Until my teammate, a guy, informed me that no one notices what anyone wears anyway.
    And the sudden stain? I’ve done that. 🙂

    • Yeah, I don’t get it either..although I am not judging..I mean, if you WANT to dress up…

      I just can’t imagine WANTING to dress up every day. Once or twice a year is good enough for me.

  • I used to wash my hair — every damn day! I have super thick hair that takes all day to dry – and then it dries into a big fluff ball. Then I discovered flat irons — now I wash my about once a week (and one of those is on the weekend). Hair wash day is a bitch, because it involves blow drying and flat ironing — but then I’m DONE! On subsequent mornings, I roll out of bed and run a brush through my hair…and I actually look presentable.

    • Ha! I don’t wash my hair every day, either. I wash it about twice a week now. My hair is a fluffy, curly mess, so I wear it in a braid for two days after I wash it. That way it dries in pretty waves and I can wear it down for two days after that.

  • I don’t wear makeup. Just don’t. I can’t justify the time or money I’d spend on it. If I have a zit? Oh well! Everybody gets them. It’ll probably be gone within a week, anyway.

    I wear the same pair of jeans for days. After I’ve worn them once, I give the butt a good sniff before putting them on again. If they stink, they go in the dirty clothes.

    After doing laundry, I usually only fold or hang up stuff that I really don’t want to wrinkle. (Jeans, nice shirts, t-shirts that I wear in public.) Socks, underwear, undershirts, and pajamas can sit in the basket until I get around to folding them. Actually, I tend to wear whatever’s sitting in the laundry basket so that I don’t even have to go through the trouble of folding it and putting it away.

    I drink out of the same cup for two or three days before I bother putting it in the dishwasher. My husband and I also share plates sometimes. One of us will eat a snack and leave the plate out because we know that the other will probably use it before day’s end.

  • If I hit the snooze button one too many times, I do this sort of bargaining thing with my half asleep self. I’ll skip the eyeliner. I’ll wear pants and skip shaving my legs. I swear to myself I will shorten my shower (which never happens, well, unless I skip the shaving). Sometimes these things work, sometimes they don’t. And I am totally with you on the pantyhose thing. NO MORE PANTYHOSE!!! And agree that pantyhose are sooo not the same thing as tights! 🙂

  • Again. We’re related.

    I. hate. getting. up. I used to have a 10 minute drive to work, and I’d hit my snooze like 9 times in a row (Shane *loved* that- “Why can’t you JUST SET IT FOR THE TIME YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY WAKE UP, and then actually wake UP!!!”). Then I’d tear out of bed 5 minutes before I HAD to leave, throw on a skirt, random shirt and jacket, heels, and nylons glued to my leg with clear polish, put my makeup on in the car while driving, grab a coffee on the way up the stairs after clocking in, and SLAM into my seat at the stroke of 7:00:59 a.m. *bam*

    I hated that so, so, so much. Plus, mascara in a car-visor mirror while driving is never a great idea on winter roads.

    ahhh…good times.

  • the title blurb ( of this Post) caught my attention, as I am in the middle of organize-my-time Effort (3209.5)
    For reasons unknown, the morning is the time for post writing. I’ve tried writing in the evening, but for the most part, it’s first thing in the morning, which being somewhat pre-empted for things like ‘leaving the house for work’…
    Given that I don’t earn a living from writing blogs, you would think that priorities would be quite clear.
    but…hell, these Post topics don’t come out of thin air….wait a minute, well, it’s just that first thing in the morning is it for me.

By Michelle

Michelle

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