Let me help.
I have had decades of experience as a person who waits to the last possible second to get ready for work in the morning. For instance, it’s 6:54 am as I type this. I should be in the shower instead of writing a blog post.
Seriously, I have no idea why I think it’s a good idea to write this right now.
I have never mastered the art of preparing in advance. I used to assume as I grew ‘older’, I would become more organized and, well, more grown up.
Well, I got older. Organization didn’t happen.
Back in the 80’s, when I had to dress ‘business professional’ every day, I mastered the art of putting clear fingernail polish on pantyhose runs while still wearing them. More evenings than not, my hose didn’t slide off. The hose had to be yanked off because they were glued to my legs.
More than once, I used the iron on a piece of clothing while I was wearing it.
I could apply makeup, even mascara, while riding the bus. Riding the bus was essential. Not only because it was cheap, but then I could balance a brief case on my lap and get the work done that I took home the night before.
Pretty sure my permed hair got me through the 80s. All I had to do was pick it out and if my hair still looked bad, I could put it up in a banana clip.
Now? I have developed time savers and want to pass the savings along to you!
Don’t wear pantyhose ever again. Seriously. Not for any reason. I work in a casual atmosphere and there are some women who wear pantyhose and dresses. On purpose! We can wear jeans and sneaks, if we want, every day. I wear a dress, but that is only if all my jeans are down in the basement. Certainly, I don’t wear goddamn pantyhose with the dress.
Stop ironing. I haven’t ironed in years. Not once since we moved in this house 6 years ago. I don’t even know where the iron is. I think it’s in the basement, but I’m not sure. My feeling is, if the wrinkles won’t come out by tossing it in the dryer for 5 minutes then I’m not wearing it.
Get other people to find clothes for you to wear. This one is tricky. I’ve found the fool proof method is to ensure Randy’s socks are at the bottom of the laundry basket. He is picky about his socks. He will pull every piece of clothing one piece at a time out of the basket while looking for his socks. All I have to do is lay in bed and watch each piece fly onto the bed until he provides me with under garments and a shirt that isn’t too wrinkled. Sure, I have to listen to him bitch about not being able to find socks, but that is a small price to pay.
Skip steps. Change them up. For instance, this morning? No eye shadow. Fuck wearing eye shadow. Tomorrow? Who knows? Maybe I’ll go commando. Maybe I’ll wear the same jeans I wore the day before. And Monday.
Find a hole in your shirt? No you didn’t. You didn’t see the hole before you left your house. You didn’t see it until you got to work and someone else pointed it out. Personally, I don’t point out other people’s holes. I am of the opinion that other people’s holes are not my business. And yes, I do mean that in more than one way.
So, ,what are your time saving steps? Seriously, I need to know. I am so fucking late today.