Golden Girls: Deep Dark Truthful Mirror

I’m hoping Elvis Costello won’t mind me stealing his title.

***Disclaimer*** It is possible I’ve gone completely bonkers by now. I’m just saying. My filter is fractured. I cry at work. I spend a weird amount of time watching the lizards in my front yard. I’m finding it difficult to feed my brain with a constant stream of trump, trump, stephen miller, trump, oh my god, no. no no. How many black men have been found hanging from trees? How many?

Life is hard for most of us right now. I know it’s not just me. I’m not dealing with it great, but I’m trying.

I’ve spent some time contemplating who I am and what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown in life.

I’ve thought about secrets and regrets.

I thought perhaps it would be cathartic to search deep and fess up to a dark secret.

You know the type of secret.

The one that makes you feel all swimmy and backs up in the back of your throat like phlegm. The type you know will make people think less of you. That type of secret.

The type of secret that keeps you from being the person you should have always been.

Here’s mine.

I’ve never seen a single episode of Golden Girls. 

Of course, I was aware of Rose, Blanche, Sophia and Dorothy. Same as Seinfeld. Never watched it, but I still know who Jerry, Elaine, George and Cosmos are. And Betty White? She’s amazing no matter what. My baby sister has seen every episode. When she was a kid, she loved Golden Girls.

Also, I lied about my secret. I mean, it was true until two days ago.

Randy and I dialed up Golden Girls the past few days. We’ve been laughing our asses off.

I’m not saying you should watch Golden Girls.

I’m just saying if you find yourself stuck in a terror loop or unable to sleep, think about what you’ve missed out on life and maybe give it a chance. Because holy shit, this is hilarious. Sophia fucking kills me.

For me, I am finding that if I don’t step away from the loop of horrible news, at least for a bit, I start to shut down.

Shutting down right now isn’t an option. We need all the strength we can get because the news isn’t going to get better for a while.

There is good news every day, though.

Find the good stories. Find something to laugh at. Disconnect when you need a break. Self care is more important now than ever.

So, of course my deep dark secret is ridiculous.

I mean, really, did you think I would tell you a real one? Hmmm?


Photo courtesy of Pixabay.


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  • I was hoping for a good juicy secret, I will
    I love juicy secrets.
    But that you have discovered that you’ve got a friend in the Golden Girls is really
    uplifting and totally unsmarmy and better than the best juicy secret ever.
    Thanks for sharing.

  • Yeah – Beatrice Arthur was always my idol. I wanted to be her. Sarcastic, sassy mouthed….oh wait! I did get to be her! Well, I missed her height by a few inches and her income and popularity passed me by. I especially loved her when she faced off with Archie Bunker (All in the Family). And then Maude.

    I live in Florida and even though I have a husband, I’m looking for a bunch of women to share a house with, because it looks like the best way to spend my “waning” years! It probably takes the combined income from Social Security for four women to survive the ‘Golden Years’.

  • I’m glad you found the Golden Girls. I have loved that show forever. You have to keep going. We all have to keep going and showing that the good in this world will eventually take over the evil! You have Randy and your beautiful family, think of them when you get overwhelmed. Those thoughts keep me sane.Sometimes you just have to turn the news off for a while. I keep telling myself “things are going to get worse before they start getting better”, but, holy shit how much worse can it get? Sending you a big ole virtual hug. HANG IN THERE!

  • You watching The Golden Girls is my happy thought for the day. Some might consider my threshold for happiness low based on that but you’ve transported me back to a time when a friend and I would talk on the phone and watch The Golden Girls–separated by distance but brought together by those four amazing women and holy shit we would laugh at everything Sophia said. I can’t imagine how anyone kept a straight face around her.
    There is still good in the world. I hope you’ll have some cheesecake.

  • OK, I’m posting under my old screen name so as to be able to link to a video I think you’ll enjoy.
    The fact that I’ve seen neither a Golden Girls episode or a Seinfeld is unsurprising since I have never owned a television.
    Yes, there is good news. Still there is much work to do.
    That’s enough about that.
    Here’s the link. I found it on Paul Wartenberg’s blog, and there’s a follow up that’s actually funnier, but I don’t think I can get away with posting two links in one comment. Check it out, it’s called “Explaining the pandemic to my past self part 2.
    Anyway here’s part 1, and I hope you (and we all) are holding up OK in the apocalypse:

    -Doug in Sugar Pine

  • What you have to remember – what will save your sanity – is that this too shall pass. And keep in mind that good news is boring and doesn’t sell – they only talk about the bad shit. That endless loop of bad shit is how they make money. You really do have to turn it off. Not like those people who think the virus is a hoax turn it off, but after you’ve filled your cup on the day’s headlines. Stay informed, we must stay informed, but then turn it off, so that you can take care of yourself. Because here’s the thing: your watching it all go down is not going to change a damn thing. It’s still going to be happening, all that horrible stuff. So – Turn. It. Off. We need you to stay sane so you can keep us sane!

By Michelle


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