I’m never going to have a grown up house.
I thought one day it would just happen. I’d have shadow boxes and sconces and a matching set of dishes.
I haven’t changed yet and I’m ready to go ahead and let go of that particular delusion.
I’m not going to have a put together house and I’m totally okay with that.
Trees die in the back yard? Fuck it. I’ll paint them. And tie ribbons to the dead branches.
I have a picture of Liam Neeson in a frame in my living room. While I adore Liam Neeson, I’m not a super fan. I just have his picture in my living room because it’s hilarious when people notice it for the first time.
Here is an approximate tally of the common comments I’ve heard:
Is…is that Liam Neeson? – 8
Do you have a relative who looks just like Liam Neeson? – 2
Dude, your parents are weird. – 1
I have River Song in my kitchen, along with a signed poster of the bootlegger Popcorn Sutton. He didn’t sign it, he had already committed suicide. The posterit was signed by his wife and the distiller.
I have Alice In Wonderland in my living room and an enormous Elvis Costello poster in the dining room.
Our furniture has mostly come from yard sales, Craigslist, and thrift shops. We bought our dining room table from a yard sale for five dollars twenty four years ago. It was a our dining room table for years but has served as Randy’s desk for over a decade. I am not a fan of spending a lot of money on furniture. Except for mattresses. We have to have a decent mattress.
I’m good with all of this.
This is our space and I will forever embrace our dorm room chic.
I don’t think that is enough, though.
I’ve decided, now that age 56 is looming, that I am ready to give up on a few other things.
I don’t mean give up in a bad way. I mean giving up on worrying about certain “shortcomings”.
I am who I am and part of who I am worries about way too much. I need cycle a few out. I’m getting older, I need extra room for my mortality anxiety.
So, here are a few things I’m going to stop worrying about.
- I am never ever going to understand anything the health insurance company sends me.
- I have no idea how to balance the investments in my 401k.
- Dust bunnies happen.
- If someone outside my family gets in my car and my car is messy? I don’t care. Also, my car is messy.
- The funky smell in our new house is just part of the charm.
- The mud pit in front of the house is just going to be there until spring.
Sunday night work anxiety is here to stay.
Okay, there. I already feel better.
Well, until my mortality anxiety figures out there’s more room.
Also, do you think I should get this mole checked?