How so? Well, they are teaching me to not be so serious and to not take nasty comments to heart. They are also teaching me there a shit ton of douche twizzles out there.
I wrote about Huffington post comments before, but I promise, this isn’t going to be the same.
The last time I wrote about the Huffington Post comments, I talked about how I know I shouldn’t read them, blah blah blah. One would think after reading a couple hundred negative comments that one would just stop reading them.
I’m not going to stop reading the fucking comments.
Not only am I not going to stop reading the comments, I’m not going to feel bad about reading the comments. I am willing to take this a step further. Not only am I not going to stop reading them, I am not going to stop sometimes getting upset by them, or be amused (really, mostly bemused) by them. I probably won’t stop bitching about the comments even though I’m bringing that shit on myself by reading them in the first place.
Whew, I am glad I made my peace with this.
Anyway, I decided to share some of the more “colorful” ones. I mean, I should get something out of negative comments. At the very least, I can make fun of them and use them for a blog post. It’s almost like the people who REALLY dislike me also gave me a present.
Before I share, though, I want to say that the number of positive comments are far greater in number than the negative comments. But the positive comments aren’t quite as juicy, maddening, or bizarre. And be honest, don’t you just love the bizarre stuff? It’s satisfying to read, but can be gross. Kind of like peeling off dead skin after you get a sunburn. Satisfying, but gross.
My second article about what not to wear after fifty really invoked some strong emotion with some Huffington Post readers. Also, people are weird as fuck.
One of the things that I suggested to not wear is bitterness. I felt that I clearly conveyed the idea that not being bitter is preferable. Joy and contentment and happiness are better than bitterness. In reading the comments, many people think I’m a bitter person. Either that makes zero sense, or I just don’t understand this humaning thing at all.
The comments aren’t just pointing out how I am bitter or angry. Honestly, I am not sure what a lot of them even mean.
First, there are the comments that have little to do with the actual article, but dammit, I have upset these people and they want me to know about it:
You assume you will make it to live to 50… not so… have some respect.
I didn’t write about what I assume my life expectancy will be. At least I don’t think I did. I do assume I will make it past fifty, mostly because I already have. Even if I did write a post where I make an assumption that I won’t die relatively young, I am being disrespectful? To who? People who died under age fifty? I’m pretty sure they don’t care. Also, there is the fact that I’m already over fifty. Although, I am not sure if that makes me any less disrespectful.
Who do you think you are? Do you have a degree in psychology or are you just spouting off hate. A lot of women 50 plus look great and the girls in their 20s are looking like fat asses with big fake boobs, address that one please.
Address what? Chubby younger women who chose to have their breasts augmented? That’s a very specific topic and not one I am all that passionate over. I guess my stance is “Okay. Good on them.” I probably am also impressed with their big butts because I like them. I cannot lie. I also feel this comment has a “pot and kettle” feel to it. She seems to be spouting off a bit of hate of her own for all girls in their 20s? Or just the ones who aren’t as thin as she would like them to be? I wonder if they have big butts but natural boobies, would she be as upset?
Bad time of the day, honey? Recovering from your… is that a bottle of tequila?
I’m not sure if that rant is to spew venom or just enjoy bashing others while distributing not-funny advices as if it was funny?
I suppose it is rather venomous to suggest giving up wearing uncomfortable clothes and to stop feeding bitterness and pettiness. But you know how tequila drinkers are. We can’t help ourselves. And my advices are too funny. Which is good, because my advices are rarely helpful.
Mocking older people because of the way they look doesn’t seem funny to me. I spent 2 years watching a elderly person die and she had wrinkles, arthritis and broken hip etc. You think the pain is funny? Think again.
Damn, I am a cold-hearted bitch. I had no idea that I found the pain of the elderly funny. I should start going to church or something. I did have to respond to this comment. Because for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how I was mocking older people for the way they look. This was her response:
Like the writers?
Pretty sure I have to just step away from this one with a big, fat “Okay, then…”
Then there are the really mean comments that either make very little sense or exist simply to demonstrate how much better of a writer they are than me:
You are a toxic and immature ass. Is this the only kind of piece that you are able to produce to gain attentiom? I hope that your “over 50 years” are particularly heinous. Sounds like you are more miserable than most women over 50 I know already. Do you have problems being accepted by your peers ? Not very good looking perhaps? It is really tough to be unattractive these days, regardless of age. Listen, Cupcake, I don’t care how old you are….your particular kind of mean spirit has no secret in it’s origin. Either your were whacked in the head frequently by your unfortunate parents or you have had zero attention from which ever sex you are trying to attract for your entire life. Bitterness literally drips from every word you type. You put a shudder down my back.
Are you…are you fucking kidding me? I am wondering if this person has some sort of disability that makes them read words wrong and that he read it as a completely different article. I have no clue what was in my article that would inspire this kind of animosity. I also kind of want to ask him about “attentiom”. Is “attentiom” something I should be trying to gain? And when I ask him, I want to sign my name off as “cupcake”.
This grouping of words is so poorly assembled that I could not read past the first sentence without stumbling over a glaring grammatical error. One would hope such poorly written efforts would at least pass momentarily across the desk of some responsible adult or trained journalist before being regurgitated onto the laps of poor unsuspecting readers. I personally don’t care what the content, the writing is so abysmal that I question the journalistic integrity of this entire media group.
My favorite thing about this comment is her assertion that I bring down the integrity of the entire Huffington Post. The fucking power is going straight to my head.
Then there are these gems:
Foul-mouthed, crude and cocky. I’ll bet she wears inappropriate clothes all the time, and probably without underwear.
HAHAHAFUCKINGHAHAHA. The best thing about this, is when I read the comment, I was going commando. True story. Viva la people who don’t wear panties!
Sounds like a lot of assumptions to me. Only people who are bitter get lines around their mouths? Grow up and let us know how that works out LOL.
Do you think she really wants me to let her know how my life is working out as a grown up? I mean, should I email her progress reports? She seems like she really cares. I also suspect she has some lines around her mouth. Caused by bitterness.
Anyone who drinks Tequilla and has it as their motto, will get lines faster than anyone.
We call those lines “tequila lines”. I’m thinking about starting a skin care line that addresses this specific issue. By skin care line, I mean shot glasses. I think I will call them Tequilla glasses and we’ll pronounce “tequilla” Ta Killa. Anyone want to finance this project? Pretty sure it will be huge.
you’re an angry elf, aren’t you?
No. I do not believe there is any “elf” in my lineage. I suspect at one point one of my ancestors fucked a bigfoot, though. I am sometimes angry. That is fair.
People are funny and weird and say the most inexplicable and bizarre things. I’m not going to stop reading them because once I get past feeling a bit chafed or frustrated, then I am terribly amused. This shit is fucking gold.