Human EpiPen

One thing I love about blogging is this tribe we have. I didn’t know that would happen. I wanted to write and blogging suits me. I didn’t know I’d get to meet so many fabulous people.

It took me a few minutes to get to “fabulous”. I rejected “awesome” right off the bat because Randy says that I say “awesome” too much. I mean, it’s fair, I do use the word “awesome” a lot, but sometimes things are just awesome. Anyway, then I considered “incredible”, “broken” and “resplendent” before settling on “fabulous”. Fabulous isn’t enough though, so just add all those other words as well. Also, I don’t mean broken in a bad way, I mean broken in a way like Kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken pots with gold. The repairs make the pots more beautiful. I’m talking about that kind of broken. 

But I digress.

I’ve been talking to some of you for years now. It’s like we’ve been having one long never ending conversation. Well, a conversation where I always decide the topic and then you have to listen to me talk. A lot. Still, it’s a terribly interesting conversation.

Terri Lee commented on my last post and said: When I’m having the crappiest days, or sometimes weeks, ever, you give me a shot of laughter and even relief. Relief that I’m not the only off-kilter individual out there in this Universe! Haha! That’s it! You’re like a human EpiPen®! A shot of adrenaline for my severe allergic reactions to assholes and to life!

Being called a human EpiPen® is pretty much the best compliment in all the compliments that ever were and all the compliments that ever will be.

I love my comments like I love weekends and chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream. I got the most amazing comment a few days ago where a woman told me that I changed her life.pexels-photo-105531

Changed her life.

That freaked me out a little. Changed her life? I can’t be changing lives. I’m not a changing lives person. I don’t come from changing lives people. What if I’m wrong about everything? What if I mislead or misinform someone and I damage them? I’m not a goddamn professional.

Remember WKRP In Cincinnati? Of course you do, you know how I know? Because I’m from Cincinnati and whenever I go anywhere, someone asks me if I listen to WKRP. Let me clear that up. Yes. Yes, I do. I love Dr Johnny Fever and Venus Flytrap. They are awesome. And Randy appears to be right about the “awesome” thing. 

Anyway, there was an episode where Jennifer Marlowe had a segment where she was dispensing advice to people calling in. One caller complained about her husband and Jennifer gave her some flippant advice. The woman called back the next day and said she followed the advice and her husband hit her. Jennifer Marlowe had been having so much fun doling out advice and then she learned that her words actually have weight. Not that she is responsible for someone committing an act of domestic violence, of course not. But her words still carried weight.

I thought of that episode when I read the absolutely lovely comment where a woman told me I changed her life. On the one hand, I am humbled and thrilled to know that someone connected profoundly with what I wrote. I really am. But it still scared me a little. I mean, a lot of times, I am working through my issues and who knows how I will feel even a short time later? I’m not the same now as I was when I first starting blogging. People reading older posts aren’t reading about the same person who is writing this post today.

Have I mislead anyone? Have I hurt anyone?

I am deciding to just be happy about it. I love it when I connect with people. I am glad when they find comfort in not being alone or have epiphanies when they recognize our shared experiences.

So, here are your take aways:

1.)  I am not a mental health care professional. I might be wrong sometimes. This is just me, talking about my shit.

2.)  I love all of you like frozen crazy. You are awesome.

3.) WKRP is a kick ass radio station.

 

Photo courtesy of Marina Shatskih

 

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Add your comments below. Profanity is encouraged, but not required. ;)
  1. CARLA says:

    OH
    HOW
    I
    FUCKEN
    LOVE
    THIS.
    Yep. she nailed it. that’s you.
    <3

    Reply
  2. Troll says:

    If I live another 60 years I can only hope to be called a human epi-pen. It’s awesome.

    Reply
  3. Eleanor says:

    I have lost count of the number of people that I have recommended read your blog. It’s a good day, when there’s a new one to read!

    Reply
  4. Shari says:

    You make me smile at work which is no small thing. Thank you for that!

    Reply
  5. I have a friend who NEVER takes my advice. I’ve thought about giving her the opposite advice, so then she would actually do what I think is right. But what if I am wrong?

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      See? You get what I’m saying. I think I spent my life feeling like what I said doesn’t matter and has no impact. Now, I am realizing that might not be true and it’s a little scary to me.

      Reply
  6. Lisa K says:

    Terri Lee!! Sit by me!! Please???

    I can’t call you George, today, because we’re having new people come by and I have to be on my best behavior.

    Are you ready for your curtain call?? (I brought your tambourine and sparkly bra!)

    This is AWESOME!!! (Sorry, Randy. AWESOME is just like FUCK. Sometimes, no other word will do… 😉 )

    I love your ‘Monday with Coffee’ musings, Rage-M. I especially love how you pick your subject matter….

    Awesome.

    😉

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      Haha..I never know how I’m going to pick what to write. Every time I finish a post, I think “Whelp..that is the last one. I’m sure I’ve run out of things to say”. Then something happens…

      Reply
      • Lisa K says:

        The weird part of “Whelp..that is the last one. I’m sure I’ve run out of things to say”. is you and Halfa1000miles make me think I could blog….

        BWah-hah-HAH HA -ha.

        No.

        I don’t have a Randy for the pictures and to remind me not to say awesome so much….

        And, usually, after I’m done here, I’m outta things to say!!

        What a service you provide, Michelle! You’ve saved some pretty innocent souls in Oregon from my twisted views and outright fucked up attitude!

        There should be a ‘Liebster’ for that… or something.

        Reply
    • Lisa K says:

      Oh yeah… forgot. Since I been reading you, I made it through a complete horrible boss change-over, a second surgery, and a near husband smothering.

      I recommend your blog to everyone our age (who says fuck…;) ) and I know when I Tweet you out, someone is gonna be pretty happy they clicked the link 🙂

      I’ve picked up a couple of other blogs I’m enjoying, through you, and I LOVE making friends here!
      *surreptitiously pets George’s fur*

      I’ve always been worried about ‘chatting’ too much in your ‘room,’ but you are the best blog-host with the friendliest reply and comment buttons. It’s awesome to be able to ‘blog talk’ with your other readers.

      You will always be my blog-crush!

      (But, you should know. I asked Halfa1000miles to marry me. She kisses trees, for fuck’s sake and calls the plungers circumcised and uncircumcised! Hello? THAT’S fucking wife material! 🙂 )

      Reply
    • Terri Lee says:

      What you don’t realize, Lisa, is that I’m always sitting by you. I see you and Michelle in the room and make a direct bee line to those seats! 😀 XO

      I am very humbled that my sudden realization of your effect on me influenced today’s post. I was right though. The assholes and life in general can be kicking my ass, constricting my airways and then, I read your blog and suddenly, I can breathe again. I’m laughing again. So, thank you for that!

      I completely get what you mean, too, about that overwhelming feeling of “responsibility” when someone says you’ve “changed their life”. You can’t change anyone’s life. THEY are the only ones who can change their life. You can influence them or give them a hand up (instead of a hand out, like Clint Eastwood said in one of those orangutan movies—haha!), but ultimately, they are the ones who decide what they will do or whether they will heed advice. When I see, hear or read something that makes me take action to, hopefully, improve my situation in some way, I prefer to tell those people they “inspired” me. You do inspire me, Michelle. You help me realize how much healthier it is to accept and appreciate myself as I am instead of fruitlessly ruminating on the unfair (and untrue) criticisms from my youth. Plus, I love how I can be myself and not feel the need to channel Miss Manners when I comment. HAHA! Uh-oh! You found me out! I just love being able to say “fuck” with no repercussions whatsoever! 😉

      Reply
      • Lisa K says:

        You got that right, Sis!
        We are all ultimately responsible for what we take from here and how we apply it.
        It’s all fun and games when it’s good and we’re happy, but, all it takes is one ‘nay-nay’ and Michelle’s world could crumple.
        Of, course, we’d have to hunt that cunt down and ‘Hacker. Ninja. Hooker. Spy.’ her ass.
        (remember what Aussa did to Mike?? THAT was awesome!)
        Michelle has brought together the frequent forms of life that end up sad and lonely in support groups.
        I hope I’ve thanked her enough!
        *hugs Terri Lee*
        Sorry, mushed your hair….

        Reply
        • Terri Lee says:

          Lisa, never fear the hair mushing! I deliberately wear my hair so it’s mushable. I am not the “oh, watch out for my hair, nails, insert too perfect and manicured body part here” kind of gal! HAHA! What can I say? I liked having my fur stroked the wrong way. The static electricity is exhilarating! 😀

          Reply
      • Michelle says:

        And that makes my day!

        Reply
  7. Sherry says:

    “But her words still carried weight.” I want that burned in my brain, or tattoo that on my arm. It’s a wonderful thing for all humans to realize.

    Reply
  8. Gretchen says:

    I love YOU like frozen crazy. You are like a shot of laughter in my mornings. Like the sugar in my coffee. Like a sip of warm bourbon after a long day… I’ll stop. I’m getting all sappy and romantic. But for real, when my life is going according to plan your post is one of the first things I read in the morning. I remember when I first *met* you (ok, stalked you) on Twitter. I was so intimidated to comment or even retweet your stuff. But when I finally did, you were so warm and down to earth and made me feel comfortable with commenting on blogs in general. I don’t think I ever told you that, so thank you. What I’m trying to say is, you rock sister!

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      Thank you so much for this..Seriously, I could hug you right now. And I am the least intimidating person on earth. Nearly always. I have my moments and they are spectacular, but they are truly few and far between. Randy would argue against this, but he’d be wrong.

      Reply
  9. I wish I could have worked “human epi-pen” into this somewhere but it’s a work in progress. Hey, aren’t we all?

    Baby, if you’ve ever wondered,
    Wondered if I’m alive and doin’ well,
    I’m changin’ lives by blogging,
    Blogging at Rubber Shoes In Hell.

    Got tired of being stressed and playing possum,
    Running from one bad day to the next.
    But things for me just might still turn out well,
    They may even end up being awesome
    Blogging here at Rubber Shoes in Hell.

    Reply
  10. Haralee says:

    You gave disclaimers, enjoy the awesomness!

    Reply
  11. Estelle says:

    I was watching Eddie the Eagle yesterday–the movie, not an actual eagle. Anyway, loved the part where he got his name. I like the sound of Michelle-the Human Epi-Pen. Own it!

    Reply
  12. Mila says:

    I don’t see how you might be wrong sometimes, because every time I read your post I go ‘yes, aha, sure, I KNOW, true that, with ya’ that’s when I’m not laughing or whispering awesome. So

    Reply
  13. Oh Gawd, Epi. What a great compliment. I feel ya. Sometimes someone leaves a comment so sweet that I almost print it out and pin it to a board, just to stare at when I need it. But, I thought that would be really weird for someone else to see 🙂

    Other bloggers have been amazing (and awesome) to me. I post about poo and penises. I’m not going to change anyone’s lives — but the comments that stand out to me are the ones who call me a WRITER. I can’t make me call me that, but when someone else does, it’s fantastic (and awesome) and makes my heart swell. That’s a weighty word to me.

    You rock. When I get an email notifying me of a new post, I always read it or save it for later. Always. I read every word you write.

    And yes, Lisa K. you have a blog in you. I write about absolutely nothing. I have no idea at any time what my next post will be. I’m totally winging it here (just like Michelle, I “whelp” after my posts too)…I think it’s funny when people can show me a schedule of their next month of posts.

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      I have a problem with the “W” word as well. I love it when I get referred to as a writer. It makes my day.

      Hahah..Randy keeps telling me I need an editorial calendar…

      Reply
      • Lisa K says:

        *adjusts tiara*
        *pulls skirt out of butt crack*
        Who’s the Bitch, now?
        You Writers are making me feel way too damn good.
        😉

        Reply
  14. mydangblog says:

    I know I don’t always comment, but I always read, and I always love!

    Reply
  15. Bren Pace says:

    LOL I love it! The human epi-pen! Woot!

    It’s great to know that blogging can change other’s lives. I know by sharing personal experiences, it can touch others who may be experiencing similar situations yet embarrassed or afraid to talk about.

    Keep Rockin’ It!

    B

    Reply
  16. Mary-Anne says:

    What? WKRP? I LOVED that show it was AWESOME!

    Remember the episode where they threw the turkeys out of the helicopter?????

    Keep on keeping on, sista!

    Reply
  17. Love it, I think that you are awesome! You have definitely changed my life for the better.

    Reply
  18. Marisette says:

    Good time to get a bee in my bonnet, I take it.

    Reply
  19. Laura says:

    Hi Michelle! Just found your blog on Mommy who drinks wine and swears. Someone put the blog you wrote about “I’m not responsible for your feelings”. Loved it! I then started to read more of your blogs and realized you were writing about me! I was so fucking happy I almost pissed myself. Now I know there are other like minded people out there! Thanks! Laura… P.S. I hope you don’t mind if I use some of your stuff in future everyday conversations.

    Reply
  20. Doug in Oakland says:

    Epi pens are a big deal. My friend Sara got stung on her big toe by a honey bee, and didn’t know she was very allergic to bee stings, and by the time her boyfriend got there and called 911, she was in cardiac arrest. According to her boyfriend, the EMT took “a jacked up Epi pen with a needle as long as my middle finger” and gave her a shot in her heart and saved her life. She said it was like Pulp Fiction, but without the sharpie, whatever that means. I’m just glad it worked, I would miss her horribly if she wasn’t around.
    You often do for my day what that shot did for Sara’s life, you save it from being totally in the shitter. And never doubt for a nano second whether you are a writer. You are, and that is that.
    Also, I’m proud to be a member of your tribe. I found you in the Bloggess’ comment section, and she has a very fine tribe, but I like yours (and Aussa’s) better because I sort of feel like I know everyone.
    Responsibility for the consequences of speech is a touchy topic just now, but your concern about it says all I need to hear about how it applies to your writing. Awesome, awesome, awesome, and maybe even a little fabulous on the side…

    Reply
    • Michelle says:

      I have such a big grin now. And I’m glad your friend is okay! I totally got the Pulp Fiction reference, btw.

      Reply
      • Lisa K says:

        Everytime I say I’m gonna not post anymore comments cuz I’m blog hogging (again) Doug in Oakland says exactly that or Terri Lee and Christopher start writing songs, and I just get so smiley!!!!

        Seriously, Michelle. Of all that is good on the internet and in virtual reality, Blog Group Therapy might already be a thing and you might already be the Therapizer.

        Therapized against the allergies and assholes of life by the Human EpiPen – Michelle Poston Combs traipsing around in her Rubber Shoes in Hell

        Fuckin’ ‘eh… didn’t think I’d ever get a chance to use ‘therapize.’

        Ha

        Reply
        • Doug in Oakland says:

          Yes! So Lisa K has named your super power. All hail the Therapizer! *giggles and pets the cat* Now I can’t wait until I see one of my therapists again to try the name out on them, but just unofficially and for laughs (I wouldn’t steal your title).

          Reply
  21. Janet says:

    Yeah, you changed my life in an awesome way. Every time I read advice about what older women should or should not wear, instead of stressing about it, I remember–put your eye make-up on your damned eyes.

    Reply
  22. Haha. I hope that I never have anybody take my words seriously.

    Seriously.

    You speak with an aura of authority and cheer. I can see how that could happen for you.

    Reply
  23. Katnap says:

    This is what came to mind while reading all of the above: 1) Years ago I read a wonderful book to my kids called, “Eppie M. Says” by Olivier Dunrea. It’s a charming story about a little boy who thinks his big sis knows everything because she can read. Eppie tells her brother all kinds of crazy shit about the goings on around their farm. It’s a sweet book full of charming illustrations and I’m sure we still have it somewhere, probably in our storage locker. Anyway Epi-M (as I now think of you), keep sharing your shit with us because you can read AND write, so you must be extra smart. 2) If all of us here were at a party together, we’d speak at the same time, except for those of us trying desperately to stop laughing before peeing ourselves. And that party, Randy, would be fucking awesome.

    Reply
  24. Monique says:

    Dwars Michelle, I only read you for a short time now. From the other Side of the world. You made me realise that there are more people like myself. You are never responsabele for my wellbeing but you gave me hope. Thank you very much

    Reply
  25. Me says:

    Love this post !!!! You do create such a wonderful feeling in my life – the times you make me laugh – especially when I have to laugh out loud because it’s too funny to hold in. I LOVED WKRP in Cincinnati when I was growing up – I haven’t thought about Dr Johnny Fever and Venus Flytrap in f-o-r-e-v-e-r. My Gran and I used to watch it together – thanks for bringing that memory back.
    Keep on doing what you are doing – it’s awesome !!!! Have the best Monday xox

    Reply
  26. We are all kintsugi. The most we can hope for is to be the gold rather than the shards. You are resplendent, my friend-I’ve-yet-to-meet.

    Oh, and one more thing: BOOOOOOOGER.

    Reply
  27. I was once called a human enema.
    To this day, I don’t know what that means, exactly, but I know that the tone during delivery was not complimentary, so I’m guessing it in some way implies that I’m shitty?
    Whatever.
    Congrats on getting the world’s most awesome kudos, friend. You deserve it.

    Reply
  28. Amy says:

    I just started reading this blog–my gosh…your words ring true from my foul tongue down to my unpedicured toenails. Just think on THAT a moment… :~D

    Reply
  29. Onlyme says:

    The best part of your blog, for me, is reading the comments. Well, the second best part. The first best part is reading you, of course. And you are most definitely a writer. A writer who honest assessment of her own life changes others’ lives, coincidentally or not. But the comments…well, they’re like sitting in a big room full of brothers and sisters all being nice to one another. And that’s magical.

    Reply
  30. Debbie says:

    I agree with another comment… it IS a good day when your new blog shows up in my email. No worries about working through your shit… I bet we all are. I love the realness of your writing! You do make a difference… all good!
    Thanks Michelle (aka EpiPen)! 🙂

    Reply
  31. KK says:

    Ha, yes you are at times
    🙂
    Going through all the crap I’ve been through over the last five years, (jeez, I can’t believe it’s been 5 years already), just reading your blog has either made me laugh when I really didn’t feel like it, comforted me in the knowledge that there are others out there with shared experiences, or has reminded me that I’m not crazy, (well yes I am a bit but you know what I mean).

    Reply
  32. Sarah says:

    Human epi-pen! That’s Awesome! But I got sidetracked with you mentioning kintsugi early in the blog. And had to go google it. To find out it is a practice which honors the broken, old and asymmetrical! How fucking awesome is that! Something honoring what most of us are!! I think that makes you the human epi-pen packaged with that refill pen! In case we had such a crappy day we needed that second pen to survive…..

    Reply
  33. You’re consistently good and that’s the hallmark of a true blogger, Michelle. You’ve also been an inspiration to me. Great job.

    Reply
  34. Jana says:

    I don’t have anything clever to say – just know that I appreciate you. You’ve done things that have inspired me to step outside my comfort zone (Listen to Your Mother). You’ve told me that you read ever blog post I write (which is such a nice feeling – to know that someone is reading). You’ve increased my exposure to music I probably otherwise never would have known about or listened to (which I’m kind of ashamed about – because after being a radio announcer for 16 years, you’d figure I would know All The Things in music). We have never met in real life, but I consider you a friend.

    Reply
  35. Liv says:

    How did I miss this? You are. The Human Epi-Pen. And I promise to never rely on your advice in any official capacity and then sue you. Because you are also awesome.

    Reply
  36. Sandy says:

    Credit where credit is due, my friend. You do have an incredible amount of real life insight and I always take something away from your writing. Never leave me.

    Reply