Have you seen Eddie Izzard’s stand up? Because if not, you are missing out. He’s fucking hilarious.
We need bees you guys. I am not an expert in any field, least of all bees, but I feel confident in saying that bees are important to our continued survival.
If any of you want to give me a detailed explanation of why that is wrong, please don’t waste your time. I also hope you get stung by bees. But not if you’re highly allergic. I’m not that mean. I hope it hurts, though.
Also, there are probably types of work that I know even less about than bees. Like selling insurance or being a professional cheese sculptor.
Anyway, I learned about buying bees last year from a post by The Bloggess. I bought bees for Randy for Christmas last year. Every year, he guesses what he is getting. He wasn’t even close last year. This year, Middle Sister and I are buying our mother some bees.
The Bloggess has a wonderful post where she is donating to people who need help this Christmas and putting people together who want to give and who want to receive. Reading the comments made my head spin and made my eyes leaky.
I don’t have the resources or the brain power to pull something like that off, but I can suggest that we buy some bees? I mean, if you are looking for a gift for someone who is hard to buy for, why not spend $30 on some bees? How about for your secret Santa recipient at the office? I can almost guarantee that they will not expect to get bees for Christmas. And it’s not just bees they’d be getting, they’d be getting a great fucking story to tell at the family Christmas party.
Did I TELL you want my secret Santa got me? Bees! I swear, she is SO FUCKING WEIRD.
Anyway, I just wanted to put a little buzz in your ear (not even sorry about that). Because the bees are dying and I’m pretty sure we need them. Plus, a family in need will be helped. It’s an all around win. Unique gift. Save the world. Help the poor.
Pretty sure buying bees makes us saints.
I’m covered in bees!
Updated on Friday evening:
I can’t stop watching that comment thread on the Bloggess’s post. I am obsessed with getting my fix of people being decent humans. More than decent, kind of amazing. It’s like reading the comments on a story about women’s reproductive rights except it feels the exact opposite.
Anyway, I can’t spend anymore money on people’s wishlists. (Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Randy, it wasn’t much). A few minutes ago I remembered I had a $10 Amazon card and it was like I found crack or something.
There’s a girl on there going by ElizabethOrBeth who has a GoFundMe campaign to help her not get evicted. I gave a few bucks. Wouldn’t it be cool if everyone who could easily donate a dollar went ahead and donated a dollar and we help her? Just a few days before Christmas? It’s like a goddamn Dickens story except there’s an internet.