I had to use 3 PTO days last week because I’m sick.
I hate using my days off as sick days, but damn, this is kicking my ass. It started with a sinus infection and is wrapping up with bronchitis, an ear infection, and a second round of antibiotics. I spent 36 hours in bed watching bad movies and filling a trashcan with snotty tissues.
By Sunday, I couldn’t stand myself anymore. I couldn’t take anymore chick flicks or Buffy or Supernatural. I wanted to be productive.
I needed to be productive.
I dragged my ass into the bathroom for my first shower since Thursday and made a mental list of the chores I would complete.
I finished my shower and blew my nose which immediately blocked my right ear. That made me super dizzy, so I had to take a nap.
An auspicious beginning to a day I swore would be productive.
I don’t know who I think I was kidding. My incessant coughing isn’t even productive.
I did manage to complete a few things on my list, and some things that weren’t even on my list. For instance, while I cleaned the kitchen counters, I mentally remodeled the kitchen.
Not completely, that would be silly. Just adding a tile back splash. And a new floor. Maybe some paint. The lazy Susan has to at least be repaired. A new fridge would be nice.
I swept up the first layer of debris from my neglected kitchen floor. Alfie the kitty helped by batting the larger bits around before I could get them in the dustpan.
The best thing about cleaning the kitchen today is that I couldn’t smell the bleach. Well, that and it felt good to leave my bed for more than 2 minutes.
Randy is a sweetheart. He didn’t want me to do any of it, but I explained that I needed to do something or I was going to lose my shit.
He really is a sweetheart. Except for when he’s not.
He started out great Saturday night. I was nowhere near ready to venture from my bed and was deeply engrossed in an episode of MST3K.
Randy made the perfect comfort food to accompany a sinus/bronchial infection. Grilled cheese, tomato soup and BBQ chips. Perfect. He brought them to me on a tray.
I was at the stage of my illness where my taste wasn’t completely gone, but it was definitely wonky.
Me: Oh man, this blows.
Randy: It’s no good?
Me: I am sure it’s fine, but my sinuses are so jacked that it tastes like a lint sandwich with floor cleaner soup. I can’t even guess what these chips taste like. Partially rusted metal springs? Old hammer heads?
Randy: I’m sorry.
Me: It’s not your fault. I’m sure they taste fine. It’s my fucked up sinuses.
Randy: Yeah, but if I had made you a lint sandwich and floor cleaner soup then it probably would have tasted like grilled cheese and tomato soup.
Me: There is that. Next time, I guess.
Randy: You want to watch some videos?
Me: Sure. I feel like ass, though. So nothing loud, or abrasive or aggressive, screechy or whiny.
You guys, he pulled up a song called Blood Waves by band called Ho99o9.
Me: Are you fucking kidding me right now?
Me: This is literally 4 of the 5 things I said I didn’t want to listen to.
Randy: You liked this the last time I played it.
Me: Oh my god, I wasn’t sick then. I feel like shit now.
Randy: Okay, just wait until the beats per minute speed up.
Me: This is way worse and is now actually pissing me off.
Randy: Well, you did like it the last time I played it.
Me: I have no idea what is so hard to understand about the “I’m fucking sick” part.
Randy: Fine. You pick something.
Me: Okay, then.
So, we finished the MST3K episode about a gila monster the size of a school bus.
I guess I can forgive him that one transgressions as he has basically been my man servant throughout my illness.
You know how people always talk about when men get sick they’re helpless babies and when women get sick they still get shit done? Total opposite in my house. When I’m sick, I am down for the count. I rarely see Randy down. I mean, unless he does something silly like ignore an infected appendix for 4 or 5 days necessitating a hospital stay for half a month.
Wish me luck today. I had to come back to work, even though I could have used another day to rest. Maybe two more.
At least my normal sense of taste is returning. Maybe, I’ll get Randy to make grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for dinner. I am still not ready to watch that fucking video, though.