Listening to Joan Jett: I Don’t Give A Damn About My Reputation
When I was young, I worshiped at the feet of Joan Jett. I fell in love in high school and never looked back.
The last time I saw her live, Joey was just over a year old, so nearly 20 years ago. I saw her somewhere between 3 and 5 times in the eighties. I can’t remember for sure. I know it was at least 3 times, probably 4. Maybe, 5 times. It was a long time ago and I went to a lot shows. I am positive I saw her more than any other artist.
Randy has been cultivating a playlist for when we paint or clean or any of the other horrible chores we have to finish getting our new house in order. There is a comfort in this list. I know how it starts and I know the order. I just am never sure how it will finish up because Randy adds to it.
He learned to not insert songs. Because if Primus doesn’t come after Greta Van Fleet, then we’re going to have a problem. My mojo gets fucked up.
Me: I am the president of the Joan Jett fan club. I have been for over 35 years.
Randy: Who’s in that club?
Me: Just me, but we still hold meetings. Usually when it’s a work night and I can’t sleep.
Anyway, after listening to Randy’s addition to the playlist, I had to watch all the Joan Jett videos.
You guys, I needed that so much.
I remembered in my younger days that while her songs played, I was fearless. Fearless was not my natural state. Joan was a bad ass and when I listened to her, I felt strong.
I needed to get a small glimpse of that long ago fearlessness.
Less than 3 weeks until the midterms, I am terrified.
I am terrified that we won’t at least get the house. I am terrified if Republicans lose majority in the house or the senate that the president will react badly. Like worse than anything else he’s done. I’m afraid that no matter what, the days that follow November 6th will dark and frightening.
Then, I listened to Joan Jett for a while and remembered.
No matter what happens, I will still fight. I can be scared, that is cool, but they don’t get to win. No matter what, they don’t get to win.
I will fight.
I will laugh.
I will play with my kitties. My cats don’t fucking care who the president is and for some reason, that thought comforts me. No matter what happens, Alfie the kitty will still sleep every night with his butt shoved into my armpit.
I will listen to music and maybe even get serious again about finishing up the painting.
I will write and take long baths and cook for my family.
Maybe, I will even bake again someday if we ever figure out how to relight the pilot light on our stove. The stove can be lit with a match, but the oven has been unusable for going on two months now. Randy and I have a lot of fun together, but we’re not very good at being grown ups.
And when the terror comes back too thick, I’m going to skip ahead through our playlist and listen to Joan Jett and remember that while I’m not always a bad ass, I am definitely sometimes a bad ass.
Also, not trying to be a broken record, but you all are committed to voting on November 6, right? And take a friend. Talk to people about the importance of voting. We are in peril and our democracy is depending on this election. Please vote.