Bring me your tired, your poor, your kitty pictures

It can’t be all doom and gloom all the time.

It just can’t. We need kitty pictures.

Last Thursday, I got one of those sickening phone calls that parents dread. Joey called and when I answered, he said “Mom, everyone is fine. No one got hurt, okay?”

I knew the conversation would go severely downhill from there.

I don’t have an exciting story. Joey got rear ended while driving on the interstate. I don’t have word from the insurance company if my car is totaled, but my car is totaled. Take a look. There’s no trunk anymore .

Anyway, they are safe.

I have spent the weekend either dealing with insurance companies or rental cars, alternating with extreme bouts of “what ifs”. This is exhausting.

Now we have to buy another car. I didn’t want to buy another car. I wasn’t planning on buying another car. But I have to buy another car.

On the plus side, I didn’t fret over the state of the country or politics much. Other than some Roger Stone induced schadenfreude.

On the downside, well, fuck the downside. Just send me pictures of your pets. Or anything happy. I need some happy.

So, here is my contribution.

Alfie and Gertie kitty pictures.

Alfie is the clear favorite, because Randy and Joey both say he is their favorite. I’m not saying he’s not awesome, I’m just saying I don’t play kitty favorites.

Also, do you know which cat has nicknames like Alphadookie and Poopy kitty? Alfie. Because he shits on things. He’s picky and he shows his displeasure by crapping on the rug I overpaid for 6 months ago. Randy is ready to call the rug a total loss. I am still hanging on.

I am not saying Alfie is less deserving of love, I’m just saying that Gertie never ever shits outside of her box.

Here’s my Alfikins on a table I decorated for Joey.

If you look at the light behind his head, you can see the reflection of his smushy faced feline guardian angel on the wall.

Some have said it looks like a rabbit, but I am sticking with smushy faced feline.

Here’s my Gertie girl chirping at the birds.

And here she is letting me know she’s had enough of my shit.

I hope this week goes well for you all. I hope the same for me.

Also, not kidding about the pictures. Or a story. Anything funny or happy.

And GO!

Edited to add:

Okay, bonus video, And I had to pay actual cash for it.

Randy was laying down his beat and I grabbed my phone to capture it. Then he stopped.

Me: C’mon. Let me video it.

Randy: 20 bucks.



Randy: 20 bucks

So, I fucking paid him twenty actual dollars for this 3 second video.



Add your comments below. Profanity is encouraged, but not required. ;)
  1. Spiked Lee says:

    I am so glad everyone is okay! Good on Joey, to start out with “everyone is okay.” Good kid, well parented to have that message up front.
    I don’t have my own kitties, so here are someone else’s:

  2. Holy freck!

    So happy … glad … relieved … that no one got hurt.

  3. shari walcott says:

    I do not currently have a kitty but I am pretty sure that kitty did not back into that sock by itself! Lol. Fun pics

  4. Lisa K says:

    Aargghh…. I suppose that car was paid off and eligible for liability only?
    I’m so happy that Joey and his friends are OK… I’d take an auto investment gone bad and full coverage insurance as a small sacrifice, too.
    Thank you for thinking of our well-being and paying Randy for that beat drop… I’m in for $5 😉

  5. Emily says:

    I had a car totaled by some crazy driver, obviously several sheets to the wind, who drove in the opposite lane at high speed around the cars on his side, then turned left across lanes and into me. We went off the road, while he went on, smashing into a parked car and then a concrete wall. We both survived, but not my car. I remember all too unhappily the misery of waiting for insurance money to buy a replacement and having to rent a car in the meantime. To make things worse, the guy, who had no license and didn’t own the car he destroyed, got a ticket for only “unsafe speed!” As I write this, I can tell I’m still mad over this.

    But I lived. Should count my blessings!

  6. Haralee says:

    Oh they are both adorable but your little girl has a wonderful expression!

  7. Best $20 ever spent. Also I’m glad Joey is okay, even though the same can’t be said for the wicker chair in the trunk.
    Our oldest dog was having trouble with, well, shitting in the house. He couldn’t help it but he always looked so sad and apologetic that I’d try to reassure him by saying, “It’s okay, these things happen.”
    A few days ago my wife apologized for something and I said, “These things happen.”
    She said, “Thanks, but I didn’t shit on the floor.”

  8. Cecilia says:

    OMFG I’m so glad everyone is ok! What a wreck. Jesus. I hope this helps – some kitties hugging stuffed animals.

  9. Doug in Oakland says:

    Your child is safe, your cats are adorable and Randy was a screaming deal, if you ask me.
    I guess we take our blessings the way we get them, no?
    Our scrawny little cat who showed up in the back yard a couple of months after Kitters disappeared meowing plaintively for someone to please just spare him a kibble before he passed out from hunger and neglect weighs fifteen pounds now.
    I’ve taken to calling him “Beast” because “little cat” just doesn’t work any more.
    And about Mr. Stone: I wonder how the tattoo of Richard Nixon he has on his back will go over in prison?
    I would show you a picture of our cat but I can’t seem to make my Photobucket login work just now. If I get it to work later on (like probably tomorrow when we get our high speed internet allotment for the month) I’ll come back and drop a link to him into a new comment.
    So glad that Joey is OK.

  10. Shelley Caldes says:

    Here’s little Gracie! She does have a resting bitch face, no?

  11. Shelley Caldes says:

    Zoe is giving baby Gracie some pointers.

    OK, I’ll stop now!

  12. My cat does the same chirping thing with birds. He also makes that sound when he sees the red laser dot. I’ll try and upload and link later.

    The car looks terrible! Glad everyone is okay.

  13. Kate says:

    Again, I feel as though our lives our syncing in some respects. Does that make me sound like a some creepy stalker?? My son, who moved back in with us this year, was hit in October. Woman took his front bumper off and the insurance company totaled it. STILL waiting on the check. Anyway, he is fine.
    Not to bring you down, but I am sending a link to a pic of my puppy who got hit by a car while my husband and I were out west. My son was here and the dog ran the wireless fence and went to the main road at the bottom of the hill for some reason. I think he was looking for us. Or chasing some damned deer. This was the last pic I have of him. He was 12 1/2 years old and quiet spoiled.

    Anyway, too soon to get another dog, so I signed up to foster beagles. Waiting to hear about our home visit. I miss my pal.

  14. Kate says:

    Oh, and more Randy youtube. Watched it three times. If I had lighter, I would have lit it and held it aloft. 😉

  15. MJ says:

    I am so glad your son (and passengers?) came out of the accident without injury. That is the most important thing. I am hoping this link to a pic of possibly the most handsome ham on earth works — And then of course, there’s this guy, our Oliver (who has been re-homed twice prior to coming to us.) — Take care and try not to stress too much about the car. It’s just a car.