Where Everybody Knows Your Name

My apologies to the Cheers theme.

I opined, recently, that I wouldn’t be surprised if the president couldn’t easily name his grandchildren.

Perhaps that seems far-fetched.

Maybe, one would think “no, no matter how horrible he is, what grandfather wouldn’t know the names of his own grandkids?”

Sadly, I have experienced this level of narcissism.

My second husband wasn’t a grandiose, screaming bully. He was a quiet narcissist.

I didn’t know about malignant narcissism when we dated. If I had known then what I know now, I’d have no trouble identifying his brokenness.

Like the first time I met his younger brother and his family.

His younger brother lived less than 20 minutes from my ex. They saw each other often. When we were on the way to visit, I asked about his two nieces and a nephew.

He could only tell me the oldest girl’s name and had no idea what his nephew’s and younger niece’s names.

I remember finding his complete lack of interest in the actual names of his flesh and blood relatives odd.

That I didn’t run away screaming right then and there tells you of my decision making skills at the time. Well, maybe not that exact second because I was in a moving car. 

My second husband didn’t bother himself with learning their names because they were meaningless to him.

They did nothing to further his fucked up narrative.

At the time, I didn’t consider that he didn’t know their names because he was a broken monster with no empathy and a sadistic streak.

I just thought it was a cute little quirk. Just typing that made me gag a little. 

Back to the present, the president doesn’t like animals.

He has no idea at all how to relate to children. They just aren’t important to him.

So yeah, I think it would hilarious if a reporter asked him to name his grandchildren in order by age.

Bet he couldn’t do it.

 

Photo courtesy of free photos.

 

 

19 Thoughts.

  1. Not one to double-down, but…
    Wonder if he knows the names of all the people he is paying child support… wait… I meant ‘hush money’ for?

  2. I smiled at this one. My family on both sides are LDS. Some practicing more than most. Some have been excommunicated. I remember those person’s names.

    I remember some of their names. If your families and relatives and practically everyone you never knew didn’t know you because your parents decided unilaterally that it wasn’t important that you know them? Ok that is a hard one.

    I’ve spend the last five years trying to find some people and some of us like each other and some of us don’t. I have a hard time with names. So my older cousin gave me recipe cards with all of the family back to….well let’s say a long way back. She had memorized them all. I saw her write them out. I was in awe.

    I also knew i’d Never be able to do it myself. So, I said anyone that ever needs a place to stay when flying in or flying out or just because they need something? They’re welcome here.

    And I know they would return that favor. People with big families sometimes just say well yes I know his name. He was somewhere between x and y for age. Just ask him!

    I came from a small family. I haven’t seen my dad’s uncles since I was 9-10 years old. So, I have a father that fits that description. And I’ve been fighting against it all my life. Luckily my Mom’s side is more forgiving. They welcomed me with open arms after I went searching for them.

    They told me I was their family even though I kept saying I must have been adopted.

    So here is to findingvthose people. Even if you sort of forget who is the 2nd cousin once removed….I mean who does know that? 🙂

    Happy Monday to all.

  3. I think that his grandchildren (and his children for that matter) have been raised to know that they only matter when it’s important to him. Otherwise, shrug it off and accept the money quietly.

  4. A disturbing side of the current occupant of the White House, and something that’s probably common among narcissists, is that he doesn’t just forget the names of family members. He remembers the names of anyone he thinks has harmed, insulted, challenged, or even just slighted him. He carries around his “enemies list” like herpes, which, admittedly, he probably also carries around.

  5. Driftglass seems to think he has late-stage syphilis as well.
    His brain doesn’t seem to work real good, for some reason or other. I don’t know about that, but I do remember reading one woman who wrote about him “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably fucked some questionable models in the eighties…”

    Which is still no excuse for not knowing his grandchildren.

  6. Daddy was one of three boys, so we always knew all the names of all the cousins on his side. Mommy was Seven of Nine. so growing up, I knew all my cousins on her side, but lack of contact has drained my brain of both names and faces of those, I’m sad to say. My niece has 3 girls, of whom I’ve met the eldest, but I’ve seen pics and videos aplenty. Same with my brother’s 3 progeny. Daddy’s getting older and sometimes forgets or mis-names one of those six; he does try, at least. But he’s not sitting in the White House, so…

    It would probably be funny to see a reporter ask him, except that that would turn into more “fake news” once it was pointed out to him.

  7. That seems to be a good indicator of who might be a narcissist. I’ve known people like that – they also tend to forget immediately if you tell them, say, your mother lies dying in the hospital. Oh, they will react in a socially appropriate manner, but it means nothing to them, so they will absolutely forget, and immediately.

    I can picture these people when you write about them. I know these people, unfortunately, or at least people like them.

    And the President, well, he’s tough to avoid.

  8. You are triggering lots of memories for me today as I finally get caught back up!

    MNF purposely called my daughter Emily – her name is Emmalyn. Reasoning? I think to toughen her up or some BS. Because people were going to accidentally call her Emily, so she should get used to it???

    Of course, any normal human would realize that at the very least your family should think your name is important enough to get correct. I got all the grands to start calling him Grandpa Tim (his name was Tom). Surprisingly this little ploy worked and he stopped calling her the wrong name!

    On a side note: there are 70+ first cousins on my husband’s one side (yup – good Catholic farm family – LOL) and he can name them all mostly in order! Whereas my father could never remember anyone’s name unless they were someone he could get something from.

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