The weather turned off stupid hot again. The humidity makes the air taste like dirt and exhaust soup.
Right now, thunder rolls in the distance. There’s no rain yet, but it is coming. No more dirt and exhaust soup.
I painted the ugly ass kitchen today. I covered the robin egg blue walls with an icy, pale blue that is nearly gray and nearly white and is perfect in my kitchen.
While I am painting, the noise in my head quiets down. Mostly. A few stupid thoughts spike here and there.
What if Joey gets eaten by that cougar?
It’s bad, you know.
So what? I’m a grown ass woman. I can have pie for dinner if I want.
Other than the usual suspects, my brain was quiet. Ish. Other than the soundtrack. Even with an 80’s playlist going on Youtube, I had a song popping in and out all morning.
I had the Village People stuck in my head. Macho Man.
Of course, Macho Man. Of course.
I’ve mentioned before that there is virtually no difference in behavior between my father and the president. They are completely transparent. What they show you is exactly who they are.
When I say they are the same, I really mean it you guys.
Someone posted on Twitter that the song Macho Man was played at one of Trump’s rallies last week. Macho Man.
Let’s set aside for a moment that the song is actually making fun of macho men and their insecurities.
The fact that he feels he has to highlight his machoness by playing a song about machoness is pathetic. That’s as bad as someone repeatedly referring to themselves as a genius.
So, when Macho Man came out, my dad latched on and sang it about himself for years.
I always took perverse pleasure in pointing out ways my father was wrong. Oh, there was a price and the price was steep, but I couldn’t stop. I loved pointing out he was singing a song about being macho that was really poking fun at macho men. I don’t recall the fight that ensued. I am sure there was one, but it wasn’t memorable. We had a bigger fight over the song Lola.
When I was 19, we used to ride together every morning. He went to work and I went to school. It was about 40 miles one way. Horrible.
One day, we were listening to the local rock station. Someone called in and asked the DJ to play her favorite AC/DC song, so she picked Lola by The Kinks. My dad instantly went on a rant. She’s the goddamn DJ and she doesn’t even know the right band.
I explained that she picked her favorite AC/DC song in that Lola was really a man. AC/DC means you go both ways.
Well, that meant that she was right and he was wrong. So he told me that wasn’t true.
I cited the lyrics to him which explicitly say Lola was a man.
He lost his shit and screamed at me the rest of the trip. I knew the fit was coming, but it was always worth it. For a few seconds. The rest was a nightmare, but I must have really loved those few seconds of satisfaction, because I went back for those seconds over and over.
That’s what macho men do right?
- Macho men lose their shit over every slight.
- Macho men can never be wrong.
- Macho men denigrate and abuse people they perceive as weaker because that makes them feel strong.
I wish my dad and the president would just leave The Village People’s music alone.
My dad and the president are who that song is making fun of. My dad and the president are broken and weak.
Playing that song at his rallies magnifies his desperation. I’m strong! I am tough! No one is stronger than me!
And he is desperate right now.
I think between now and the midterms is when we’re going to see his bizarre behavior peak. Hang on and try to focus on the positive as much as you can. Seek out beauty. Help and support your brothers and sisters.
Okay, so why would Joey get eaten by a cougar? Well, I will tell you. He is staying on a farm in Washington state for two months. I’ve never been away from my baby boy for this long and I miss him like crazy.
Last week, when I spoke with him, I mentioned that he should step out when it is dark and look at the stars because he’ll see shit we can’t see here.
Joey: I would, but I’m exhausted before dark and am usually asleep. I could set my alarm.
Me: There you go. You really should. I bet it is amazing.
Joey: Well, I’m hesitant to go out at night alone. There’s a cougar hanging around. It attacked one of the dogs.
Me: Yeah, fuck the stars. Seen one, seen em all. You just go ahead and get your sleep.
Joey: I know. You’re never sleeping again, right?
Me: Yep, Never. At least not well.
He’s coming home on either September 1 or September 14. I’m not sure if I can, but I’m gong to try holding my breath until he gets here.
And here I was all worried about bears.
Photo courtesy of Gratisography