Malignant Narcissists and Deep, Dark Hateful Glee

Someone tweeted: Do you think he enjoys reading about Americans who die? I’m starting to think he likes it.

Of course, he does.

The stupid president has no capacity for empathy. He resents every death, because it makes him look bad, so then he’s happy they died.

Can I know this for sure?

Yes. Yes, I can.

I was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to one for 2 years.

I usually compare the stupid president to my dad, but today I’m going to compare him to my second husband, commonly referred to as “the dead one”.

The person who pondered whether or not the president finds joy in the death of Americans triggered a memory of my second husband.

My second husband enjoyed, so very much, driving down the winding old roads that took you to the far side of the greater Cincinnati airport. You could park fairly close to some runways and watch planes take off and land all day long.

I didn’t mind watching the planes because it gave me an hour or two of uninterrupted time to read. Still, I would have also been happy to never park along side a runway again. It was boring.

He bought a radio that would pick up the control tower and planes so he could hear the chatter between the tower and the pilots. Again. Boring.

Then, one day he said something. To him, it wasn’t much different from any other day. To me, his words were a gut punch.

He said he liked watching the runways because he wanted to see a plane crash.

What a defining moment.

I don’t think I’ve ever cited this instance as the reason why I divorced my second husband, but honestly, the marriage died as soon as he said that sentence.

I lost my shit. I tried to force him to see how horrible that was.

What if your children were on that plane? What if I were on that plane?

He just looked at me, sort of bemused. He completely didn’t see my point. He launched into his normal lecture about how I took everything too seriously.

I guess I’ve always found plane crashes pretty fucking serious.

I never went back to watch the planes with him again.

He still went from time to time. He’d smirk and explain how unreasonable I was for taking what he said so seriously.

We were divorced a year later.

He truly didn’t care if people died.

He just wanted to see a plane crash for his own sadistic enjoyment.

Trust me when I tell you. The president gets a dark, gleeful joy when it comes to our dead brothers and sisters.

This is still going to get worse before it gets better.

He will continue to say ridiculous things about drinking bleach and how the cure can’t be worse than the problem. We are going to die in huge numbers and he will continue to not care.

Please continue to isolate if you can.

Please wear a mask when you are out in public.

Please stay safe.

I hope you are safe.



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  • I am so torn between wanting this thing over and the phased opening to work vs wanting this whole opening thing to crater big time just to screw him up. I know that’s terrible and I’m sorry.
    Ok -I really do want this opening thing to work but maybe just a little bit not so good as he wants.

  • Dear Michelle,
    You know what you’re talking about.
    That visceral chill when you finally acknowledge the truth about a person whom you though you knew and…loved.
    There is no changing these people; they are what they are, and will ever be thus.
    In your personal life, you can distance yourself or you can kill ’em. Then you end up in the Big House with a lot more of ’em, who are even worse or stupider.
    We have found ourself with one in the White House, for fuck’s sake, who is one of the worst, and the stupidest. Somehow he hasn’t wound up yet in the Big House, but
    we have to believe he will, or worse.
    We shouldn’t allow these pathological monsters anywhere near us to fuck up our lives, but they are relentless and devious and manage to fool some of the people all the time.
    Until they don’t. You were on to the ways
    of The Dead One and your father pretty quickly but because you are a decent person, you didn’t or couldn’t imagine the
    damage they were willfully inflicting upon you. Which does not just evaporate.
    Same goes for the evil moron who’s occupying the White House and living rent free in our hearts and minds. He has, maybe irrevocably, damaged us as a people, and I would, may the gods forgive me, love to be calling him “the dead one”
    Thanks, as always, for your insight.
    May you and yours be safe and sound for the duration of the dual plagues upon our

  • I’ve quit listening to the briefings at dinner time – for obvious reasons. It wasn’t so bad when he was reading from his script, but whenever he looks up I feel dread, as I just know he’s going to say something from his own spider-webby mind and blow all the relevant information he just read to crap. So now I watch when ever I can find local news – preferably non-virus related, even if it’s sports (gag). On a similar but different topic – I couldn’t believe how smug he looked when he “advised” Biden to just answer the questions about whether he assaulted a woman 27 years ago. When is he going to admit doing that? What else were all the pay-offs for?

    It was great receiving the card from you! What fun! Mail that wasn’t a bill or an advertisement!! And in cursive!!!!!

  • You are absolutely right, and I’m so sorry you had two malignant narcissists in your life. But you recognized them and took steps to protect & heal yourself from them. Now we have to come together to stop the madness this malignant narcissist has inflicted on our country, and limit it to 4 godawful, endless, years!

  • OK, I’m posting under my old screen name because I have a link for you that might stop the comment otherwise.
    What I find doubly dangerous about his narcissism is that his fans are ripe to catch it. Even if they don’t have the missing chunk of humanity that allows him to take that glee in human suffering, the propaganda they consume has left them with a vague dissatisfaction with lives that millions of poor folk everywhere would be thrilled to have, and a plane crash, or societal crash is a big, exiting event to them.
    But fuck that creep, we still have lives to ,live.
    Briana is in the hospital in Fresno right now because our furry little terrorist of a cat bit her on the hand while she was chasing him around with a rope and, as cat bites sometimes do, her hand got badly infected.
    Zsuzs saw the red streak leading away from the bite mark and said: “Get your things and get in the car, you’re going to the ER.”
    That ER is in Fresno, more than an hour’s drive from here, but Zsuzs said the roads were deserted so she “made good time”…
    When they got to the hospital, a nurse in the parking lot gave them both masks and told them right then that the hospital didn’t currently have any covid patients.
    So please let me say a public thank you to San Francisco mayor London Breed, the health director of Santa Clara County, and her fellow health directors from the other five counties in the Bay Area who imposed the shelter in place guidelines BEFORE covid was doing there what it did to NYC, because if it had done so, there would have been covid patients in the hospital in Fresno and all three of us might have it right now.
    But we don’t, because some wise and courageous women had the foresight to do the right thing, and the public largely agreed and complied.
    Briana has another surgery tomorrow, after which she will likely come home, with stitches, prescriptions, a primary care physician, and fucking health insurance.
    So perhaps everything isn’t all bad after all.
    Now for the link. All of their videos are good; the one for “God Only Knows” is so beautiful that it will make you cry, but as for this one, I can only assume that Ray would approve:

    • Okay, that was amazing and thank you.

      Please, please keep me informed of Briana’s progress. I am sending her all my good and healing thoughts.

      And thanks for always being here. It may not seem like a big thing, but I appreciate you so very much.

  • I know that the rising death toll, and even the rising infection rate, since not everyone who’s infected dies but can still suffer terribly, makes Trump look bad. I know it’s damaging his reelection chances. It should end his presidency, but the COVID-19 crisis is just the latest thing that shows how unfit he is, but we’re pretty much fucked by his enablers in Congress. I know this has caused even some of his supporters to turn on him.
    None of that gives me any pleasure because I’m more concerned about the victims. There are so many deaths, so many hospitalizations, that could have been avoided.
    I honestly can’t say I’ll be happy if we have someone new in the White House in November. I’ll be relieved, but the cost has been too high for me to be really happy.

  • It’s not just that trump’s a malignant narcissist and cares more that his “numbers” don’t go up than he cares about people actually dying by the thousands, it’s also that he truly believes he knows more than the scientists and doctors who actually DO have an idea about medicine and viruses and the human body. He actually thinks he knows more than all of them. And he actually truly believed he’d hit on a fantastic thing (Drink bleach, folks! Gargle with Lysol!) that would cure people – so his numbers wouldn’t go up! How crazy is that? I feel like I’m in some sort of warped alternate universe right now.


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