I am a big Buffy geek.
I love Buffy. Because of this, hubs knows WAY more about Buffy than he would like to know. I forced Buffy into his brain against his will. He just doesn’t appreciate enough that he is truly better for it.
Well, it educated him. Not only could he kill a vampire, but he learned a common phrase that really should be used whenever it’s applicable.
Seriously…he thought the Scooby gang invented the phrase ‘my bad’.
How does one get through DECADES without ever hearing that phrase? He grew up in a little town in Indiana. I wonder if the other people who live there have gone through life without this handy little phrase? Maybe, he just wasn’t paying attention, which is entirely possible.
That being said, my last blog post made someone feel bad. I cited a blog (not by the blog name..just the blog post title..I’m not a complete bitch) and had a little rant about how it made me angry.
The person who wrote the referred post read my rant and left a lovely, honest comment. I wasn’t expecting that. Not at all.
If I had to do it all over again, I would still write the blog post. It was heartfelt and honest and I’m not sorry that I wrote it.
I am, however, very sorry that it caused another person pain.
Anyone who is still dealing with the fallout of a shitty parent can find themselves a walking exposed nerve. I live a lot of my life that way. I know how it feels and I would never want to pour lemon juice on the emotional pain that other people feel. For that, I am very sorry.
This made me really think about what I write. I write what I am thinking or feeling at the moment without regard to how it might affect other people. Probably, because I mostly feel like I am not capable of REALLY affecting people I don’t know. This little incident made me aware that my words can affect someone else and I need to consider that. The author of the blog post I referenced said something about feeling that her words were just off the cuff ramblings. That resonated with me. I feel very much the same way.
That’s not to say that I will censor myself or not be honest. I can’t do that. Not now. Writing about narcissism and connecting with other people affected by narcissism has meant so much to me. To stop now or to be disingenuous would feel like cutting off a limb.
I can, however, at least be cognizant of my words. And when my words hurt another person, I can quote Buffy and say: My bad.
I wish peace and contentment to people who have suffered the emotional damage brought on by narcissism and I would never intentionally say anything that might make that pain even a little bit worse.
The flower is from my garden. It’s my peace offering.