Monkey Pants

A few posts ago, I talked about mine and Randy’s sense of humor. I made the claim that I don’t laugh easily. I am going to prove myself a liar in this post.

According to Randy, repetition is the heart of comedy. I am pretty sure he is wrong, I’m pretty sure it’s the heart of being annoying. Randy also makes shit up sometimes. I have learned over the years that if he starts telling me about a place he went and he uses alliteration, then he’s making that shit up. Although, I wish Billy’s Biscuits was a real place because the biscuits sounded really good.

Randy does this thing where he gets a phrase stuck in his head. He says the phrase over and over until I lose my shit a tiny bit and tell him to cut it out.

monkey pants

Tonight, the phrase is “monkey pants”.  He’s using a specific voice and there is no way I could describe it. I guess I would say it’s a mix of Snidely Whiplash and Mr. Magoo.

It’s Saturday night and we’ve been so tired today that we’re giddy. I told Randy I was having a hard time describing how he was saying “monkey pants” and I asked if I could record it.

You guys, he made up a monkey pants song. I have a recording of it. I feel like it’s Christmas. As of right now, he is agreeing to let me post it.I keep listening to it and laughing my ass off.

The funny thing about the whole “monkey pants” thing is that he’s stuck on monkey pants because I’m wearing my monkey pants. I have had these pajama bottoms for at least 16 years. I wear them all the time. He has never made up a monkey pants song before.

Usually when he says the same thing over and over, it’s just annoying. I have never laughed that hard at his penchant for talking in loops.

Okay, before you listen to Randy’s monkey pants song, there are two things about the reason this recording starts with me bitching at Randy.

  1. I asked if I could record him saying monkey pants. He said yes. Then I started the recorder and he just looked at me like a big dumb monkey.
  2. The second thing is that it’s not terribly surprising at any moment in the day that I might be bitching at Randy for something.

Anyway, here is Randy’s monkey pants song and where I prove myself a liar.



You know what I just did, right?

I just wiped out 21 years of conditioning. I have spent 21 years saying “You’re doing it again, you’re saying (fill in the blank) over and over” and then he’d stop. Well, not at first. But he’s improved over the years. Now? Once I point it out, he usually doesn’t say the phrase or word more than 3 or 4 or 12 more times before he stops.

But did I discourage the monkey pants? No. No I did not. I encouraged the behavior and I laughed.

Now we’re going to have to start over from the beginning. I hope he survives.

I have a feeling in the very near future I am going to be using the sentence “Dude, they can’t all be monkey pants” more than the average person.

Randy told me that I could use this recording, but only if I sent it to our mountain friends first. If they laughed, then he said I could use it. So, you really have them to blame. 

And, thanks to Mountain Girl, we have a cover.



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By Michelle