Monkey Pants

A few posts ago, I talked about mine and Randy’s sense of humor. I made the claim that I don’t laugh easily. I am going to prove myself a liar in this post.

According to Randy, repetition is the heart of comedy. I am pretty sure he is wrong, I’m pretty sure it’s the heart of being annoying. Randy also makes shit up sometimes. I have learned over the years that if he starts telling me about a place he went and he uses alliteration, then he’s making that shit up. Although, I wish Billy’s Biscuits was a real place because the biscuits sounded really good.

Randy does this thing where he gets a phrase stuck in his head. He says the phrase over and over until I lose my shit a tiny bit and tell him to cut it out.

monkey pants

Tonight, the phrase is “monkey pants”.  He’s using a specific voice and there is no way I could describe it. I guess I would say it’s a mix of Snidely Whiplash and Mr. Magoo.

It’s Saturday night and we’ve been so tired today that we’re giddy. I told Randy I was having a hard time describing how he was saying “monkey pants” and I asked if I could record it.

You guys, he made up a monkey pants song. I have a recording of it. I feel like it’s Christmas. As of right now, he is agreeing to let me post it.I keep listening to it and laughing my ass off.

The funny thing about the whole “monkey pants” thing is that he’s stuck on monkey pants because I’m wearing my monkey pants. I have had these pajama bottoms for at least 16 years. I wear them all the time. He has never made up a monkey pants song before.

Usually when he says the same thing over and over, it’s just annoying. I have never laughed that hard at his penchant for talking in loops.

Okay, before you listen to Randy’s monkey pants song, there are two things about the reason this recording starts with me bitching at Randy.

  1. I asked if I could record him saying monkey pants. He said yes. Then I started the recorder and he just looked at me like a big dumb monkey.
  2. The second thing is that it’s not terribly surprising at any moment in the day that I might be bitching at Randy for something.

Anyway, here is Randy’s monkey pants song and where I prove myself a liar.



You know what I just did, right?

I just wiped out 21 years of conditioning. I have spent 21 years saying “You’re doing it again, you’re saying (fill in the blank) over and over” and then he’d stop. Well, not at first. But he’s improved over the years. Now? Once I point it out, he usually doesn’t say the phrase or word more than 3 or 4 or 12 more times before he stops.

But did I discourage the monkey pants? No. No I did not. I encouraged the behavior and I laughed.

Now we’re going to have to start over from the beginning. I hope he survives.

I have a feeling in the very near future I am going to be using the sentence “Dude, they can’t all be monkey pants” more than the average person.

Randy told me that I could use this recording, but only if I sent it to our mountain friends first. If they laughed, then he said I could use it. So, you really have them to blame. 

And, thanks to Mountain Girl, we have a cover.



54 Thoughts.

    • Hahahahah. I can’t listen to it without cracking up. It’s not like he doesn’t act like this all the time..I have no idea why monkey pants makes me laugh so hard.

  1. After listening to monka pants live! I was struck by the urge to yell stop it!, If you keep saying that I will stop this car and let you out right here! Or I will ground you till your eggs rot! It Took me back to the days my kids were young and would go days repeating the same Phrase over and over till I lost my shit and gave up and just grab the wine bottle and headed to the bathroom! But to hear it coming from an adult and you laughing not so bad, but I still might grab the wine bottle anyways

  2. I’ll be honest I was expecting some lyrics to the monkey pants song. Having said that, the rhythm execution of this monkey pants song was flawless. Hoping for a sequel.

  3. *shakes head sadly*
    Wish it was a video… the look on his face to make ‘Monka’ come out like that had to have been priceless, but I understand pushing the line…
    Sometimes being a liar isn’t all bad.
    You didn’t get any money out of anybody and you still need new Monkey Pants, so… and ‘liar’ is such a negative and judgy word…
    I would say that instead of an intentional misleading with words, you have been pleasantly surprised by how it’s taken Randy 21 years to train you to laugh.

  4. He’s a great sport to do this! When my husband is doing something silly, I almost beg him to repeat it and he almost never obliges!

    Loved the sound of your laughter too. Now I want a picture of you in those pyjamas!

  5. I knew there was a reason I am keeping my husband around. It’s so that (hopefully sooner rather than later) we have our own monkey pants moments.
    I can’t wait to see what it is 😀

  6. I probably should have had the volume lower while at work.

    Forget it. Six months from now, when everybody has that as their ring tone, they’ll remember they heard it here first.

    • Nope…was actually a song he found on youtube called monkey pants…but they never say monkey pants..he was providing the monkey pants in the monkey pants song.

  7. Oh. My. Gawd. I’ve been walking around the office singing “monkey pants” and getting some weird looks. It’s fantastic. Thank you for sharing this delightful catchy tune 🙂

  8. If that cover does not reach the Billboard Top Ten, then there are NO true music aficionados left in this world anymore. Chad and Jeremy, Sonny and Cher, Captain and Tennille and now Randy and Michelle, coming to a mall near YOU!!! (Just like Tiffany did back in the late 80s! Ooooohhh!!! You and Randy need to get matching mullets! Haha!)

  9. Okay – that was straight up hilarious. I agree a video would be better – but have a feeling that just getting him to agree to the recording was a great feat.

  10. OMG – I just PMSL at work – luckily the lady who works down this side of the office isn’t in yet or she would have been wondering what on earth I was listening to.
    I’m going to bookmark this post so that when I’m feeling crappy I can come here and have a listen !!!
    Thanks to you and Randy for getting me out of the funk I was feeling today and into a better mood – you guys rock !!!!

  11. My new ‘go to’ swear phrase is now MONKEY PANTS! When people look at me funny, I’ll just refer them to you.

  12. OMGEE!! #rollingonthefloorlaughingmyprettylittlebuttoff

    “Monka…monka… monka…. monka…. monka pants!”

    Sounds a little Kurt Cobain doing Elvis. Lol!

    Okay, I gotta go torture my inamorata.

    “Monkey pants…. monkey pants…. monka… monka… ”

    Hmmm… a little deeper I think…. *clears throat*

  13. Sometimes I think writers and other artists create problems in their own lives to have material. And I’m putting you, yes, you, up as exhibit number one of that phenomenon. You’ve gone from trying to nip Randy’s foolishness in the bud to milking it.
    Also I am torn over whether the studio version (thanks, Mountain Girl!) or the acoustic version is better.

    I guess I need to see the music video.

    • Well..nearly everything IS blog fodder. Nearly.

      I don’t think Randy would agree to a video and I’ve heard the monkey pants song so many times now that I don’t think I could muster up that kind of laughter again. haha

  14. When my husband does that repetition thing I just say, “Stop it, Rainman.” That usually does the trick.

    We have a cat named Monkey Boy, but you can’t just say Monkey Boy. It has to be Monkey Boooooooooy. We may be almost as silly as you guys.

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