It’s been a while since I’ve posted a conversation between me and my friend at work, Priscilla, Queen of the Cubicle.
I probably don’t tell her that I appreciate her enough. Or ever. I don’t think I could get through my work days if she weren’t here to talk to electronically. Don’t tell her I said that though, it will go to her head.
Priscilla and I have a specific way we greet each other via instant message every work morning. Hers is is always ‘hola’ and sometimes a variation of ‘about time you got here’ and mine is always the same: HOLA SNOTFACE! (Think Drop Dead Fred).
She loves it.
By loves it, I mean she hates it.
She’s also extremely demanding. If I don’t respond in what she deems an appropriate amount of time (roughly 3.8 seconds) I get a follow up message that says ‘Bitch, I said HOLA’.
The following is a typical morning conversation. You know, checking in with each other..making sure we made it to work okay…inquiring about how our evenings were.
HAHAHA. Okay, we usually don’t check on each other, unless it’s a good opportunity to nag. We never miss a good opportunity to nag. She would claim I nag her more than she nags me, but that just isn’t true. Also, she doesn’t have a blog, so she has no one to listen to her fantastical claims, anyway.
Me: I’m already sweating like a horse.
PQOTC: Why are you sweating? Is it because you’re the devil?
Me: Old lady hormones.
Me: I took a quiz on Facebook to determine how bitchy I am and it says I’m only 53% bitchy. You should take it. You’d make the quiz catch on fire.
PQOTC: It would try to calculate my score and the internet would shut down.
Me: Hahaha. Yes. It would be: IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE MORE THAN 100%. And then the internet just winks out like a star. Priscilla killed the internet.
PQOTC: I’m 69% bitchy. So a regular bitch.
Me: That is so not accurate. It needs to ask new questions.
Usually at this point, we both do some work until someone pisses us off and we need to bitch about it, so it’s at least 20 minutes or so before we talk again.
If you find yourself trapped in a cubicle farm, I highly suggest getting your own Priscilla, they do make the day more entertaining.