I have two things on my mind today and I’m going to try to connect them even though there is no hook and at the moment have no idea how they are going to work together.
Once, when Joey was younger, he won a goldfish at the county fair. In honesty, I think it was the hot air balloon festival, but everyone can relate to a county fair.
Joey wanted to name the goldfish Blazekins after the Pokemon character. Y’all, I am so immature. I fucking hated Pokeman, I hated it. I I hated it more than Yu Gi Oh and I hated Yu Gi Oh. I didn’t want him to name the fish Blazekins due to being reminded of Ash every time I saw the damn thing.
We named the goldfish Mr. Pink and I thought it would be a good lesson in dying because those things usually died in the car on the way home.
That goddamn fish lived three years.
For three years I had to take care of a goldfish with a stubborn will. He also wagged his tail like a puppy if you waved his food in front of his bowl. I don’t remember the other goldfish, even though I know they’ve passed in and out of my kid’s lives a number of times. Maybe, I don’t remember them because they didn’t live three goddamn years.
I do remember a friend that had a goldfish named Jaws that he used to put in his bong. That fish lived a long time. too. I suspect he was a happy fish.
The other thing I’ve been thinking about the passage of time and how aware I am becoming of this passing. I used to have forever, so it didn’t matter. I think my forever years are over.
I use my cousin as a reference.
I had a cousin who I was terribly fond of as a child. I don’t have many happy childhood memories, but she is one of them. In 1979, when I was 16 and she was 15, she was killed in a car accident.
Even after 35 years, I find myself thinking things like, Hey, Julie missed Harry Potter. She missed Nirvana and having her own phone that didn’t plug into a wall and John Hughes.
Then I think about the things that we will miss. Wonderful things will happen long after we are gone. We’ll miss seeing wonders that seem nothing more than Science Fiction to us now. We’ll miss out on music that will be made by someone who won’t be born for decades. Movies will be filmed, books will be written, and art will be created that we will miss.
I remind myself that our only option is living in the moment. I remind myself of the things I got to be a part of. I didn’t miss The Cramps or The Ramones or The Clash. I didn’t miss Stephen King or John Irving or Barbara Kingsolver. I got to see Clerks, Pulp Fiction, and The Godfather.
I watched Twin Peaks, Moonlighting, The X Files, and all the Joss Whedon shows. I finally listened to my son and watched Doctor Who. I didn’t miss Kevin Smith, Martin Scorsese, or Ben and Jerry’s. I get to have my inner voyeur satisfied by reading the most wonderful blogs. I want to list them all here. but I will definitely forget someone. Then, I’ll feel bad and end up awkwardly over explaining myself. Just read the comments and follow the blog post links from there. You won’t be sorry.
I went from using encyclopedias to write school reports to having all the information I could possibly need at my fingertips. For fuck’s sake, I have information that I could never need in a million years at my fingertips. And here is where I thank the little bastards at work who made me aware of two girls and one cup and other horrifying things lurking on the internet.
I’m happy and grateful for the things I’ve seen and am honestly curious and excited about the things I will experience before I die.Well, other than anything similar to that two girls one cup thingy.
Also, for a few years at least, I shared my time on earth with a stinky goldfish named Mr. Pink.
These thoughts are quite a relief after living exclusively in hypochondria land for the past week.
I think about this stuff all the time when I think about my Mom. She would have loved the Internet, while my Dad was just confused about why his kids loved it so much.
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Goddamn goldfish are stupid.
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Unless you’re talking about the crackers. Then we’re cool.
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Nope…not the cracker (although I do enjoy them more than the bottom feeders)
My mother just got her first cellphone. Hell, she didn’t even have a cordless phone until a few years ago.
Funny. . .I’ve been rejoicing lately in the fact that I’m a member of the last generation that remembers pre-internet, pre-cell phone days. There are a lot of things I will miss out on, but I don’t think I could enjoy the proliferation of technology, the death of libraries and thank you notes and snail mail. I’m an old soul 🙂
We still send mail. We send the grandkids post cards and I still send letters. I’m not ready to give up on it yet.
Michelle, you are exactly right. This is what I needed to hear after a long night of drinking last night with not the best thoughts. These are wonderful things to have experienced and I am truly sorry your cousin didn’t have the chance to do the same. Thank you again!
You’re welcome, Rocco! I’m so glad it helped.
I knew I liked you already, but then you mentioned Nirvana, Stephen King, the Joss Whedon shows, the Ramones and Kevin Smith. All among my favorite things.
Although I will admit I liked YuGiOh, especially watching the subtitled originals from Japan that had a much darker feel than the Americanized version.
My son had a short-lived fish that he tragically named Chowder.
Haahahah…Chowder…that is hilarious!!
Your post reminds me of a conversation I had with a dearly departed friend named JT who stepped up and saved me when I was in bad need of saving when I met him in the early ’90s. At the time, he described himself as a “64 year old one-eyed Portagee” who had started a tree business from scratch and built it into a 3/4 million dollar a year operation in its prime. He told me:
I know you think that being born in 1960, you lived in the best time, but you didn’t; I did. When I was your age, I could walk down the sidewalk of San Leandro Boulevard on any weekday and on every block somebody would see me and stick their head out the door and say “What are you doing not at work? Come in here and work for us.” So I had it better.
I don’t know how much he was exaggerating, but at the time, it was some much-needed perspective.
Perspective is a wonderful thing…
the only option is living in the moment.
yes.
that.
xo
It’s a lesson I have to keep learning…
Since I first made my debut on this planet 40 years ago, I have seen some of the greatest scientific, medical, and technological advances. I have experienced music trends come and go while the classics remain relevant. I remember when the Magnavox VideoDisc player was the height of technology, when having a film camera meant I was on vacation, a video camera was a luxury item, and a cordless phone was cutting edge. This is turning into a blog post. Speaking of which, it was a one in a million shot that something I had to say would actually be read publicly since the “easiest” place to get published was a local newspaper. Okay, I’ll stop now and maybe write a post based on this.
There you go! Looking forward to reading it!
Welcome back, Dr. Michelle! I love all the things I’ve gotten to see, but today what I’m loving the most is FREAKING UNLIMITED WIFI PEOPLE. UNLIMITED ALL THE TIME, ALL MONTH, ON ALL THE THINGS, RIGHT AT OUR HOUSE.
This is huge, because we’ve been using my smart phone for a hotspot for 5 years, and racking up data overages that, if I’m reading them correctly, show that we have used enough data every month to probably put a man on the moon by astrally projecting him THROUGH MY PHONE. So I had the internet guy come today and install a satellite thing, and I bought a router for a wifi linksys of my own today, and we now pay $59/month for unlimited (what even IS that??) internet, and Verizon can kiss it!
Now my family can actually get online and click on the news stories that are video, or even watch a movie (you can DO that??), without me freaking out and screaming “Shut off the WIFI, we’re out of DATA!!!” like some data nazi.
Whew. So, yeah…I’m glad I was here for *that*. And everysinglething from the 80s. 🙂
HAHAHAAH…oh my…this made me laugh. It really did.
I also love the 80s.
Aaaaaa I had two goldfish called Dil and Do for a brief period. I really don’t get fish. I don’t even eat fish.
Haha…nicely named. I don’t really like fish either, not even to eat. Maybe if it’s really fresh…but mostly, not so much.