Talking About Multiple Marriages

Life since the advent of the internet is weird.

Some celebrities follow me on Twitter and I occasionally chat with them. It’s fucking bizarre. The other day, driving home from work and listening to the oldies station, Rosanna by Toto came on the radio and I was all like “Oh yeah, we’re buds now.” I mean she probably doesn’t know that, but we kind of are.

It’s weird.

Another phenomena that has taken place in my own personal life, is learning that the world is super interested in people who have been married multiple times.

I’ve gotten more contacts and opportunities due to my horrible relationship choices and multiple marriages than anything.

That being said, I was contacted for an interview recently. I won’t say the publication, we’ll just call it “Holy shit, that publication cares about my opinion?” for now.

When and if it is published, I will share then. I have long given up the delusion that everyone whorose contacts me is going to follow through on their requests. I had a whole theater group ask for permission to turn my Things Not To Wear After 50 into a stage show in Georgia. I was super pumped. And it never happened.

Anyway, I did interview with a lovely British woman concerning my multiple marriages.

She is going to use my interview, along with others, to do an entire issue about marriage in the magazine “Holy shit, that publication cares about my opinion?”.

We talked for a ridiculously long time. She told me to not be nervous and I told her to cut me off if I babbled for too long.

She was interested in the background stories and I really think she wanted me to be a sage.

She wanted me to impart wisdom I’ve gained through making wretched relationship decisions.

Her: From one relationship to the next were you able to take strength and wisdom from the failed relationship that made the next one better? Or more healthy?


Me: No. No, I didn’t do those things. What I brought from one relationship to the next was baggage. A shit ton of baggage. I went from bad to worse to delusional.

Her: Which one is your current marriage?

Me: Oh, none of those. My current marriage is great. I feel smug about it.

Her: So, eventually, you did gain the wisdom to make a good decision.


Me: Nope.

Me: I saw Randy a total of 9 times in person before taking my young son from the only home he knew across the country to move in with a virtual stranger. It was the worst of all my relationship mistakes. It should have never worked.

Her: But it worked out.

Me: Yeah, it did. I attribute that to luck. We just happened to meet each other and have enough common interests and affection for each other to find our way. Now it’s great. He’s been my best friend for so long now.

I’d tell you guys the rest of the conversation, but I’ve forgotten most of it. Joey got the flu last week and I got a sinus infection. Somewhere in there, I had this conversation. I believe what the writer is working on, is an article with a number of people with multiple marriages contributing. So, I have no idea how much I helped, if at all. I really do think she was hoping for deep insight. All I could tell her was my truth.

I hope it works out, though, I’d like to see what else I said.


Photo courtesy of Erbs55.





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  • All my best intentions flew right out that proverbial window by our 2nd date (about 10 d after meeting P, in other words): oh, I was only going to date on child-free weekends, I certainly wasn’t going to introduce anyone to my 3-yr old nor let him stay out at my farm until a good solid several months had elapsed…
    Yet here I was taking P by my receptionist’s house (she was babysitting for me; I surely wasn’t going to ask my MOTHER!) after our 2nd date, and bringing him on down to the farm a brief 3 wks into our relationship!?!
    I met up w/one of my cousins last week – we had a lot of catching up to do since her husband of 34 yrs divorced her over his hookup at Burning Man – but I was at a loss for words to explain just how-in-the-hell P & I HAVE managed to stay married? It makes no logical sense but I suppose our mutual low-maintenance needs mesh almost seamlessly…

    • Right? I find it funny. A few years ago I did a Huffpo live segment on multiple marriages. When they cut to the person speaking, they would put a blurb beneath them, like “relationship expert” “divorce attorney”, mine said “Married 3 times”.

  • The common denominator in my failed marriages was obvious in hindsight. Both were Catholic and Republican. Need I say more?
    I’m so happy to hear you are getting contacted by all these cool people and places. It’s great to know your talent is being recognized!

    • Oh. Yeah, that isn’t going to work for you. Nope. My second husband was a republican. But he was also a malignant narcissist. It wasn’t a good match for me. Haha

  • Relationships really are a crapshoot. Sometimes your previous experience loads the dice in a good way, sometimes in a negative way. I hope Holy Shit That Publication Cares About My Opinion publishes your interview, or that at least the nice British woman draws on your interview, because you did impart some wisdom about the nature of relationships that doesn’t get shared enough.

  • One of my favorite relationship stories is about a girl I went to high school with. She had a major crush on this guy a couple of years older than us for ALL of high school. They never dated. He had a major GF all thru high school, then another in college. My friend and her crush hooked up at a Halloween party in our hometown a couple of years after graduation… She got pregnant. Since it is a VERY small town and everyone knew what was what, they got married. They have now been married almost 35 years, have three kids, several grandchildren and are doing great. My take on their marriage is that neither one of them went in with great expectations, so when it worked out, it was awesome! So many people have such high expectations of their “true love” than when reality kicks in, they are not ready for it. But who knows why it really worked? lol

  • Who really knows why relationships work? My friend Dirty Dan used to say “What makes any two people friends? Only they know.” To which I was known to reply “Yeah, true, but some are easier to guess than others.”
    Hope your interview gets into the article, and I hope I get to read it.
    And I hope you and Joey are feeling much better very soon.

    • Thank you! We’re both improved. He JUST went back to work today. He tried yesterday, but they sent him right home. He’s a server in a restaurant, can’t be coughing and hacking on the diners.

  • Hmm….maybe I should start advertising the fact that I’m on my 5th marriage. I don’t have any advise, though. I didn’t get smarter…just lucky.

  • RIGHT? I totally attribute the success in my current relationship to dumb luck. I was heading down another rabbit hole when we started going out.

  • Uh oh. When I was 21, I was interviewed by a journalist at Philadelphia Magazine doing a piece on married life at different ages. I had married my college boyfriend blah, blah, blah. I was divorced pretty much before the ink dried. I’ve been married now for 38 years to Mr. Right (actually, our ironic moniker is Mr. and Mrs. Excitement). I’ve sworn off being interviewed about marriage.

  • I guess 2 technically counts as multiple, but I’m certainly no expert, either. All of the “growth” that I took from the first one hasn’t made it into the second, primarily because it’s a little one-sided.

    We’ll see, I guess. 😛

    • Yep! That’s what I was’s not like experience doesn’t teach you anything, but sometimes when you’re a little broken, you keep making bad choices.

By Michelle


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