Never Delicate, Always Fragile

Randy described me this way tonight. Never delicate, always fragile.


Then he said “Actually, those four words describe you and me. They describe us.”

He is not wrong.

We’re fragile as fuck.

In different ways, both of us can crack like blown glass given the right set of circumstances.

We’re not delicate, though.

Because no matter what, we bounce back and keep going. Like those blowup punching bag clowns.

We take it on the chin and keep bouncing back. I mean, I guess sooner or later, they lose their air.

It’s cool, Randy and I aren’t there yet. Mostly. We might be slightly deflated, but hardly enough to even notice.

The “us” part of me and Randy isn’t delicate. Combined, we’re titanium.

We weren’t always, though. We had some times when we were barely aluminum foil.

We’ve always had something solid. We just needed time and maturity to make it to the titanium years.

I don’t know what prompted Randy to describe me this way. I just know I’ve been thinking about it for hours now.

Because this doesn’t apply to just me and Randy.

We’re all this. We’re all fragile.

I see it every day.

Women are furious and scared as we watch our autonomy stripped away.

I read articles and posts on social media and so many of us are consumed, all the time, by state of our governments.

How can we not be fragile right now? That’s how things break, they get worn down. They become fragile.

And we’re really getting worn down.

The good news is, we’re not fucking delicate.

How many times have we collectively taken it on the chin? And how many times have we bounced back?

I know, in the U.S., we’re in the fight for our lives. I believe in us. Even if we’re feeling fragile now.

We’re not delicate.


Photo courtesy of Sonnenstrahl










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  • Boy, howdy.
    Nice summation of our collective scenarios and desired end results.
    Ironically, Tim and I celebrated our 20th. (Yes. We got married the day after my birthday cuz I was hoping we could skip my birthday from then on…. *sigh*.)
    The traditional 20 year gift is China and the modern one is Platinum.
    Never delicate. Always fragile.
    Seems to sum up my weekend <3
    *whispers* my favorite birthday gift was from Randy 😉 My new desktop 😀

  • I can just see you two conspiring to make someone else’s day delightful and fun. Mission accomplished! I adore you and Randy and can hardly wait for your ‘Couples Doing it Right: When you Like the Person you Ended up With’ podcast 😉

  • I just had to share this on my FB page. It really does describe the psychological state of so many women and men in our country right now. But, just like you and Randy, “together we are titanium.”

  • I guess I don’t understand why we keep fighting the same fight decade after decade. Are we appearing too complacent? Do they not know that we can vote? Or do they think that we’re docile now and will accept anything they decide is ‘best for us’.
    I’m so glad that you and Randy are strong together. That’s what it takes these days to just get through.

  • Well said! Yes we are in a fight for ourselves and our daughters and granddaughters and sons and grandsons to be able to live their lives with freedom of choices in this country!

  • Love this! There’s a thing and I know I’m not spelling it right kintsukuroi or something close that’s where something broken is repaired with gold.

  • How did that old English curmudgeon put it? “Together we stand, divided we fall” There are days when the simple fact that we are still standing feels like all we have, although it never is, and for each other’s sake we need to remember that more.
    Having each other is not nothing, even in the face of the towering evil we are up against, and really, for myself on a personal level, I’ve made it through worse times with less.
    I am not a woman, though, and I try to never forget the straight white male privilege that comes to me with the accident of my birth, and I try to imagine life for those who experience the opposite of them because of the accident of theirs.
    Some days it works better than others, but goddamn it, I’m 58 years old now, and that’s a large enough sample of time to render judgement on whether any of this works or not.
    Most days it feels like it does, even in the minefield of consequences my decisions have left for me to navigate.
    But no, that’s wrong: for US to navigate. My little tribe has expanded a little, and we can all sometimes have our pain-in-the-ass moments, but the idea remains to dovetail strengths and capabilities with needs and places where the injuries of the past still leave us sensitive and vigilant.
    I’ll tell you if any of it turns out to work.

  • I keep thinking about how so much pressure is being placed on women that things are bound to explode. And regardless of what you’re made of that explosion is going to hurt those responsible for putting so much pressure on you.
    Of course it shouldn’t come to that and I know the assholes responsible will blame everyone but themselves, but it’s under pressure that you find out what you’re really made of.

  • I’m just gonna drop it here so hopefully he doesn’t notice and cause you grief.

    Randy is a goddamn gem. So are you. So are most of us, and we will bounce back, only slightly deflated.

By Michelle


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